For a long time, the plight of people with mental disabilities has been conflated with the needs of the families behind them. In recent years, the plight of people with mental disabilities has gradually been revealed. However, with the implementation of the "two-child policy" in 2016, the number of families with mental disabilities has gradually increasedAs the children grow up, the energy and economy of the parents gradually weaken, and in the unseen corners, the growth trajectory of the siblings is rough and messy. When they have to take over the baton of caring for people with mental disabilities, the social support system for older people with mental disabilities is gradually lost, and conflicts between siblings and the outside world often occur.
There are more than 300 parent organizations in China that serve families with mental disabilities, and Yang Ai, where Li Yanbing works, is one of the few that provides hand and foot support services. It is also in the past one or two years that Yang Ai has had more contacts with his counterparts in Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan, and has accumulated certain professional capabilities and resources, before he began to notice the plight of his siblings.
In practice, the support provided by Yang Oi includes case counselling, sibling support groups, family camps, etc. "There may be a lot of difficulties as siblings, but the most basic need at the moment is to see each other. Li Yanbing said that whether it was seen by parents or by strangers who are also siblings of people with mental disabilities. "Huddle for warmth" is important in the early stages of many issues, as it can help those in the middle of it realize that they are not alone in this situation and can have the courage to solve challenging problems.
Li Yanbing also noticed that it takes courage to take the initiative to seek confiding and help, and most of the siblings do not take the initiative to express themselves, but rely more on the staff's questions to guide the other party to think about deeper issues. For the siblings of people with mental disabilities above puberty, Li Yanbing and her team try to provide more in-depth communication, including relationships with siblings with mental disabilities, and perceptions of unfair treatment by parents.
Especially when siblings are at the end of puberty, it is even more difficult to express the dissatisfaction in their hearts. Many people are born with the weight of another life, and the staff tells them: you can pursue the life you want, we have to love ourselves first. Li Yanbing said that at first, when Yang Ai carried out hand and foot support services, parents would always bring their own expectations, hoping that healthy children would also come to hear how the hands and feet of other people with mental disabilities communicate with special children, so as to better take care of their younger siblings with mental disabilities.
In Li Yanbing's view, such expectations are irrational and deviate from their original intention of serving siblings. She confessed directly to some parents that their children may be more "rebellious" after participating: "We do support services for the mentally handicapped, not hoping that they will become caregivers for the mentally handicapped in the future. It is to hope that they will know that they are also an independent person, and that they are also the children of their parents, and that they have the opportunity and right to fight for their own lives, and that the relationship between siblings and people with mental disabilities can be like the relationship between siblings in the family of ordinary children."
As the eldest in the family, Liu Ying didn't think about the future. She has two younger brothers, the youngest brother is autistic, 10 years old this year, 18 years older than her, the second brother has just finished the high school entrance examination, and his mother is 56 years old. In her plan, in the future, she will take on the responsibility of taking care of her younger brother, "Ask an aunt to accompany her all day to cook and take care of him." It may be better to send it to a specialized childcare facility for the elderly, and there is no problem with giving more money." However, as far as she knows, there are no childcare facilities for the elderly in the city where she lives. She began to worry that her two children were also caught up in the blame.
As an older sister, I am a member of our family, and it is no problem for me to take on this, but my children, they are not obliged to do such things, and they must be separated, even if I am asked to rent a house separately for my younger brother. She has two small children, ages 4 and 2. The children still don't understand why their uncle sometimes jumps. So far, Liu Ying has not explained to the children what autism is, and all she can do is take care of her younger brother.