Text: Cai Leilei
Hello Mr. Cai, I only paid attention to you recently, and then I read the article in one go. I would like to ask a question I don't know if I can, I am 35 years old this year, and unfortunately, I was just laid off two months ago. In the past, the income was OK, so I always thought that the mortgage was nothing, but now I found out that every penny is not easy to come by, before the salary was paid and I went out with my wife and children, the expenses should be spent, and the children's training classes can be on, and tens of thousands of yuan are not distressed, and now I have to calculate the difference of a few thousand, tear down the east wall and make up the west wall, because the mortgage costs more than 20,000 a month.
I'm not afraid of your jokes, I used to think that this is good in this life, and I don't have much pursuit as a person. But now I find that our small family's ability to resist risks is actually very weak, I belong to the more traditional type, go to work on time, work hard, occasionally work overtime, accompany the children after work, take the family out to play, but it seems that I am a little too optimistic about the ability to maintain the current life. I would like to ask Mr. Cai, how should I break the situation in this situation?Thank you for giving me a little bit out of your busy schedule.
Hello. Many people think that the life of their wives and children is as long as they have no desire and no pursuit, and they lie flat, but have you ever thought about a problem, the hot kang head of the wife and children itself is desire.
Just like many people think it's easy to hold on to Bitcoin, what kind of fixed investment, what mechanism to lock up, I just buy, buy and hoard. Then let me tell you, unless you buy very little and bitcoin rises very little, you will know if you try it, and your coins must be less and less, don't fight with me.
Why?You think that holding is holding, but in fact, whenever you think about it, you are making a decision - continuing to take it is a kind of decision, and it consumes the same energy as every ** and sell decision. Why are those ** heavy ones more difficult to hold?Because the heavier the **, the more you care about the loss, the more times you think of the target, the more you think of the target, so the total decision-making to maintain the status quo will consume more energy, and the shorter the time you can carryThose who don't even understand this and look down on the mechanism, who do they look down on?
The hot kang head of the wife and children, just like you in the water, seems to be a person who can swim, and can float smoothly on the water, but can this person maintain it by doing nothing?It's impossible, he has to continue to consume energy. The more advanced the life you want to maintain, the greater the energy consumption, you didn't notice this energy consumption before, it is your industry dividend, skill dividend, and the bubble of the whole society helps you support it, but more than 20,000 mortgages, children are full of make-up classes, if it is not for the family to have a mine, I am afraid that it is not the level Xi of the big factory code farmer can not hold it, right?
Many people say that the wife and children are hot on the kang, but it's not that simple. What they want is actually a beautiful wife and a group of cute and smart children, in a small house, playing with him every day, nerves, so many people in China, if you can get it by lying down, will there be so many people who can't ask for it?The uglier your wife, the more stupid your children, and the smaller your house, the flatter you can lie down, but people will compare, and when you compare, you will not be happy, so you can't lie down, and then you will jump repeatedly in the struggle and lying flat.
You are 35 years old, and if you haven't figured out that "life is continuous hard to have occasional sweetness" at this age, then you have lived this age in vain.
You must understand what is your basic plate, everything in this world can be changed, but you can't change it yourself. That is, you are the only one in your life, and everything else is just one of your experiences, including parents, colleagues, friends, spouses, children, etc., are not the protagonists in your world, they all exist to enrich your experience, and no one is completely inseparable from you.
Your problem now is that you don't invest enough in your life and spend too much. Yes, the spiritual is also consumption, for example, travel is a heavy consumption, and traveling with loved ones is a double consumption, because family affection is also consumed as part of a better experience.
Have you eaten melon seeds?When I was a child, I liked to eat all the melon seeds at once, not eat them, and then put all the kernels in my mouth. This is life, the more you knock, the more refreshing it is when you put it in your mouth;I can't wait to put it in my mouth after just knocking it, and the degree of coolness is much lower. Of course, you said that there are melon seeds for sale, yes, but that is what someone else has done for you, and the analogy is that you have a good father, otherwise who will provide external force for your life?The labor of knocking melon seeds is a small scene, you can exchange it with other more efficient labor value, and you can switch to such a big scene, where does your external force come from?
There is no other way to break the game, just two words, make money.
Give up your spending, accept the price of life, and make money. First of all, continue the job first, you can't do this, you can get a high salary for so long, and now you haven't found a job yet, you must be unwilling to be low, you should find an okay job first, it's not so difficult. And providing income for the family is a matter for both of you as a couple, not for you alone, because in your case, you are not qualified to have a full-time housewife. So no matter what your work status is, two people should work together, and after the main job is available, it is best for both of you to have a part-time job.
The second is the house, is it too late to consider the mortgage today?People have run a few waves, if you can change a smaller house, you can rent a house, in a word, the source of blood loss should be cut off, and the hematopoietic ability should be enhanced, that's it, whoever doesn't fight with you, you can fight by yourself, don't let anyone drag you back.
There is no such thing as a must be done in life, or there must be regrets no matter how you choose, in this case, do what is most beneficial to survival first, and don't just think about consumption and enjoyment before reaching a certain level. Especially before that, don't listen to the nonsense of people who tell you that "life can't be enjoyed without time, and it can't always be so hard", because if you listen to too much cheap from your parents and friends, you will struggle and have internal friction, then you will definitely not be able to run fast.
When you are left behind by others, there is no pair of helping hands in this society that will reach out to you. How many years can you fight with your energy?Is 20 years enough?And then, who cares about you, then a bunch of bad things you haven't thought about, the pension can't be paid, the child has to take care of his own children, it's good not to ask you for money, wife, who said it must still be your wife?When you can't take care of others, who will have a community of interests with you, you go to a low-end nursing home to see, are they all people who did evil things when they were young?It's more people who didn't figure it out when they were younger.
After the age of 35, you should see clearly that the hands at the mouth of the well can only be your own.
Good luck hearing from you next time. ENDS).
I'm Cai Leilei, thank you for reading.