Destroying a child is not asking him to say I m sorry , many parents do it wrong

Parents will always force their children to apologize, but ignore the reasons behind it.

Let children learn to deal with problems rationally and find ways to grow.

When I asked my classmates who were playing together, they all said that there was no such thing, they were just playing games.

I didn't take it seriously.

Until today, the head teacher called** and said: Your child has beaten someone.

Suddenly, I rushed to the school and asked the reason for the entry, saying that my son did it first.

I looked at my son, who had been crying, who was usually timid, but insisted on not apologizing.

In other words, he may usually ask him the reason, but in the current situation, he can only make him apologize ruthlessly, and then talk to the other party's parents about compensation.

When I got home, when my husband asked me what had happened, I told me what had happened, but in the middle of the retelling, my son interrupted me: I didn't want to hit someone, he beat me every day, and I don't want to be beaten today.

I don't know how other parents should deal with this situation, but I think more about why the abused person is treated as the abuser.

In fact, when faced with this situation, I was also at fault.

The fault is that you don't trust your own children. If you trust him more, he will take the initiative to ask you for help when he encounters problems. But just like at the beginning, I ignored his needs, so he had to save himself.

There is a question and answer on a certain question: In the first grade, what should I do if a child keeps beating my child?

Gao Zan replied: Society only asks you to protect students, but it does not give you the means to solve problems.

So instead of asking for help, it is better to teach your child how to protect themselves.

In today's society, it is impossible for others to shout because of a small thing you care about. Instead, because of your yelling, let the trouble get into trouble. Therefore, we must teach our children to learn to avoid their edges.

For example, don't let your child arrive at school too early, go home on time when the time comes, and don't linger on the road.

For example, take children to exercise, long-distance running, resistance training, etc., don't just wait stupidly in the face of danger.

For example, don't be alone, people are social animals. If you have a partner by your side, others will realize that you are not alone, and there will be more problems with multiple people than if you are dealing with a single person, and the other person will weigh more points.

Interaction is everyone's social need, and children also have social needs. The main way for children to grow up is to imitate, and in the interaction with their friends, they exchange knowledge, experience and knowledge with each other. Get to know yourself and others in the interaction with your friends, and experience the division of labor and cooperation in the group.

It's just that we parents often lock our children at home, watch TV or play with toys alone, and lack communication skills with others, resulting in low communication skills.

In particular, some introverted children are often bullied without knowing it, but because they look forward to getting along with their friends, they acquiesce to the bullying of the other party.

When the child is still young, consciously help him choose friends who can socialize, for example, you can understand the child's personality and needs, and communicate with some partners at the same frequency.

For older children, parents must not impose restrictions on them. It's more about analyzing and making rules to let them judge how they get along with their friends.

It's not uncommon for children to do things when they don't agree with each other, but we children don't have the ability and skills to deal with friction with our peers. So parents need to have a skill in dealing with these conflicts: know when to intervene.

When it is obvious that there will be harm, parents should intervene immediately. Don't yell at the attacker right away, but rescue the wounded first. If your child is the aggressor, calm the child who is being attacked, then take the child aside, tell him that the behavior is wrong, then warn him, and if it happens again, leave immediately, and do what he says.

In fact, children will encounter problems in social interaction to a greater or lesser extent. But as long as we can pay enough attention to and respect children's choices, so that they can interact with others with love and enthusiasm. Then even if we encounter problems, we can have enough power to deal with them, and this is where we can help children.