I am deeply conflicted about whether or not to dedicate my life to the cause of God.
Honestly, there are too many worldly **, too big. There are so many rebellious sons of God who have developed many female believers from good families into their underground lovers, like the emperor's many wives and concubines, and they also have a beautiful name: He brought the gospel of God to others, and he filled the world with love.
I am deeply conflicted about whether or not to dedicate my life to the cause of God.
Honestly, there are too many worldly **, too big. There are so many rebellious sons of God who have developed many female believers from good families into their underground lovers, like the emperor's many wives and concubines, and they also have a beautiful name: He brought the gospel of God to others, and he filled the world with love.
Human nature emasculated by desire
Night talk with several prisoners in their cells.
A traitor to God, a sinner in the world—Confession of a priest.
II. II. II
After graduating from seminary, I returned to a diocese in the Northwest to assist the bishop. My bishop's name is Zhao Jinglong, and he is one of the founders of the National Patriotic Catholic Association, and he knows several languages. He spent years in prison (the social and educational movement) to the year. At that time, he was sentenced to life imprisonment for counter-revolutionary crimes. After he was rehabilitated and released from prison, he wrote a memoir of more than 10,000 words. In the preface there is a sentence: "The reason why I do not complain about this year is because: Lord, I am truly guilty!".(In theological terms, sin refers primarily to imperfection.) I was shocked to hear this, and I couldn't help but look up to the sky and sigh: the power of religion!）
He died at the age of his death.
Under the guidance of Bishop Zhao Jinglong, I quickly became familiar with the daily work of the church, and I did a little good. However, with the rapid opening up of society and the increasing psychological and physical maturity of my own life, I am indeed deeply conflicted about whether to dedicate my life to the cause of God. Honestly, there are too many worldly **, too big. At the same time, I heard and witnessed some of the chronic ills and bad Xi in the church itself, and I couldn't help but tremble.
Father Priest did. In three or four years, it was a hurdle again. This is the same as going up in seminary.
Three or four years of mentality is the same. Because by this time, I already had a personal experience and a concrete premonition about the priest's role and the future.
Although, I do not doubt my faith and devotion to God, I am not sure how powerful this faith and piety are, and whether they will become the mainstay of my spiritual world at all times. Especially when I'm so young, energetic, and in the prime of life.
In the reverent gaze of those young and beautiful female believers, it seems that the Virgin Mary in my heart is overshadowed by the moon. Many of my classmates work in coastal dioceses, and the tide of ideological emancipation has long disintegrated some of them into discerning ghosts.
Among them, there are so many rebellious sons of God who have developed many female believers from good families into their underground lovers, like the emperor's many wives and concubines, and they also have a beautiful name: He brought the gospel of God to others, and he filled the world with love.
Not only that, those non-religious beautiful women have a rich and romantic color, injecting a gorgeous and vivid light of life into the empty church.
Their expressions of curiosity, admiration, and challenge made me unable to help but shake my heart and move my eyes on the pulpit. For this reason, I have tasted and enjoyed a quote from a pastor countless times:
When a clergyman or a priest (a missionary subordinate to a priest) stands on the pulpit and preaches the truth, he already has the same special charisma as the truth. ”
Not only that, but I also strongly felt that it was the celibacy of a young man that attracted the youthful eyes and dreams of many people of the opposite sex.
I add: The same goes for a single woman, who brings endless hope to countless men, married and unmarried).
What a logical circle and contradictory contradiction!
It not only mysteriously alienates a simple system, but also distorts and exaggerates the person who is bound by this system, making him a beautiful slave with a holy halo on his head. The call of this holy prisoner in the spiritual hell does not know if it will touch the hearts of the world.
If God sent his Son Jesus as the Savior to save mankind, can the divine light of salvation also illuminate hell?
It was at this time that an English school was opened, which was rented on the upper floor of our church. This schooler's name is Liang Qin, and he graduated from Changsha Railway College with a major in English. Thanks to her mother tongue teaching method (speak first, read later), the school not only absorbed many students, but also attracted me.
In this culturally underdeveloped place, this is a new and advanced teaching method, and I am a person who is particularly obsessed with languages, no matter what the language. We talked about English, about faith, about teaching, about religion;Talk about her, and talk about me. Finally, one day she said:
How nice it would be if you weren't a priest!”
I replied
If I weren't a priest, I'd be looking for a girl like you. ”
Later, the school grew to more than 1,000 students, and she named the school "Jens English School". My holy name is John. "Jans" and "John" both mean "son of thunder" in Latin theological terms. It's just that one is negative and the other is positive.
That is, one is the daughter of Thunder, and the other is the son of Thunder. It was also in this year that she converted to Catholicism and became one of my believers.
At this time, although I was already a priest of the main parish of the Catholic House (in charge of the daily affairs of the church), the body of the soul had been turned 90 degrees, half worshipping the kingdom of heaven and half lingering on earth.
With the fiery love of a young woman, Liang Qin started a battle with God against God. In her words:
I'm at war with God. ”
Of course, she knew very well that the power of God should not be underestimated. However, on this side of me as a human being, my inner emotions are also ready to be revealed.
I also found out that Liang Qin is a responsible woman. Her family is in the mountains and is very poor. She earns money to go to school and study on her own. She also worked hard to support and sponsor her younger siblings to go to secondary school and college. She is the Virgin Mary in her household. The interpretation of responsibility is called dedication.
I feel that a person who gives himself to a loved one and a person who gives himself to someone who believes in them have the same spirit, and their actions should be the same. I will be understood and forgiven by her. For God is the source of love. A priest who does not love man does not truly love God. Jesus said,
You should love one another as I love you. ”
The children of God and the children of the devil are distinguished by one word of love
I smiled and asked, "Are you determined to be Abelard?"”
Hey – you know Abelard!”
No, his love affair with Eloise is a public case of medieval Western religion. ”
They are the ** religion and, of course, the ** high priests of the ** religion must also be celibate. However, he and Eloise first secretly had children, and then secretly married. However, Abelard's dream was to become a high priest.
At that time, the high clergy was undoubtedly the only way for talented young people to make a difference. It was for this reason that their marriage took place in secret, and after the marriage Eloise remained at the Abbey of Hogendou, while Abelard returned to Paris to continue teaching. Later, Abelard was cut off by the people of Eloise
Why, isn't it possible to get married?”
After all, love meets religion. Besides, they also want to cover people's eyes and ......Of course, I won't let me be castrated. At least, I'm afraid of pain. I want to be a monk like Jordan. He fell in love with Diana, the abbot of the convent of St. Agni, but religion prevented them from living together, and they could only exchange letters, leaving behind a large number of 'love letters', which became a peculiar classic of religion. ”
Isn't this good, platonic love? ”
But that's not going to work, I can't restrain the attraction of the opposite sex, and I can't stand the ...... of my own flesh”
Then you are a vile and standard hypocrite, religious hypocrisy and secular deception, you have both ends, it is a grand slam - you are much worse than Hugo's Vice-Bishop Claude Frollo!In the end, people became a victim of religion, but you put on the cloak of religion and enjoyed the worship and dedication of a woman from a good family. At this point, he let me taunt me, not committal, just raised his hand and wiped his eyes vigorously with the back of his index finger).
To be continued