Before we start the official **, I would like to ask you: I think everyone has seen or is experiencing the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, right?Will everyone feel this way, "I'm right, how can she treat me like this", "I've never seen such an eccentric mother-in-law."""My daughter-in-law always throws my face at me and makes me feel very painful", "She deserves it, who let her provoke me first", "I will return it to her twice in the future"."Look at other people's homes, and then look at our family, it's really impossible to get by"And so on and so forth
The tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law always begins with a very small thing, and after continuous brewing and escalation, it reaches an irreconcilable pointInstead of always struggling with who is right and who is wrong, it is better for us to try to solve this crux, we all know that "family and everything is prosperous", when we really practice, we will behave like avoiding ourselves and unable to face ourselves.
When I encounter counseling on the relationship between my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I always ask the counseling party: "Do you think the reason why you are at odds is because she did something wrong?"As social work scholars and psychological counselors, for us, the primary purpose of communication is to let the counselor face himself and be loyal to reality, only in this way will it not lead to the complete opposition of false information and facts caused by negative emotions, the more the truth is hidden, the more confused the counselor's logic will be, and the greater the impact of illusions and hallucinations, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is even more foolish。
If we are always immersed in our own cognition and talk about our own emotions, it will only increase the tension in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and we will also behave full of loopholes in communication and finally lose our way. Eventually, we will spend a lot of energy and time defending our own empirical ideas, confusing right and wrong, and causing us more troubles and pains, which we will never be able to let go.
Evaluate the other party according to personal likes and dislikes, distorted information will only be out of touch with reality, which is also a common problem suffered by counselors in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they are more like complaining, rather than really trying to face up to and solve the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is also the root cause of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that has not been resolved. Many times, the reason why we are like this is because psychologically speaking, the interference caused by "empathy", the so-called empathy, that is, the interference of various self-perceptions and experiences from childhood, allows us to copy the past ways to the existing problems, although this way is no longer applicable to the current situation, but we still cannot recognize and recognize the problem.
There will be many phenomena of empathy, because it is our nature to deal with problems based on past experience, it is our nature to escape from reality, and in the face of this situation, we will always continue to the client**Why does she not care about the changes in the environment, always thinking about escaping reality, and not facing up to the emotional problems of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law that she is facing, only "empathy" with the counselor Struggle, through the communication of constant reminders, although this process of the counselor will be very resistant, and even feel that we are talking to the other party, but only gradually overcome the pain in reality, in order to promote the growth of our outlook on life and values, temporary inner pain, far better than immersed in a false sense of comfort, spiritual growth, then because of the tension between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law caused by the pain will let us slowly dissipate, and continue to mature, coping freely.
When we struggle with our own inner thoughts, it is also a critical period for counseling, and the psychological problems caused by the tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are ultimately through self-reflection to obtain spiritual relief. What distinguishes us humans from animals is the self-reflection function of our frontal lobes, which is essential for us to solve real-world problems
Although we are very reluctant to self-reflection, because compared with self-reflection, it is faster and more relieving to want the other party to pay the price, and it will bring us more pain than accepting new external changes, such as one party taking the initiative to apologize to us or as we wish, so many counselors will want to escape reality and fantasize about the future or things that cannot happen easily, and the latter will have a faster effect. More directly, in fact, if we can really recognize and find the source of the problem from the tension between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, the pain caused by self-reflection will seem insignificant, but it will make us feel happy in self-reflection, and we will be more relaxed in dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the future.
If we can't face our hearts, it will only plunge the family into infinite internal friction. Creative Inspiration Center