When I was in college, the dormitory was addicted to the American drama - The Vampire Diaries, and although I was bloodied by the chaotic relationship history, I still had some longing and yearning. Emotions can be so presumptuous, and life can be so wonderful. In fact, our dormitory is a bit "earthy", and there is basically no makeup in the past 4 years, and we haven't even discussed yellow jokes together, which is quite a clear soup and little water.
This is very consistent with my imaginary college life, because my university is busy making up for my regrets, and I didn't study finance, so I took the finance certificate, and I didn't have any time to fall in love. After I got into the financial industry as I wished, came to Shanghai, and tried to change a few jobs, I used to watch jokes and TV dramas, and some aspects of my life came into reality.
In the industry that deals with money, there are many cows, ghosts, snakes and gods. When I entered the trust industry, it wasn't the best thing to do, but it wasn't bad either. A colleague who joined the company before me joked: "If you are a year or two earlier, only you think about it every day in Lujiazui, there are endless games, endless songs, endless billiards, and I don't even know who pays." "I can only laugh and laugh, and occasionally have some longing.
When I joined the company, I ate and drank a lot, and I invited others. I still like eating and drinking, but it hurts too much. Later, there was less to eat and drink, and unless necessary, the rest was almost only with a few friends. Then I found out that in this world, everyone thinks TV dramas are ghostly because they have seen too little, and life is more exaggerated than TV dramas.
Let's take my friend Xiao Tao as an example, an employee who left the company went out to start a business on his own, but occasionally came back to talk. When we first met, there was no one in the company, only me to entertain her, so she told me a lot of things. It was so private that I thought she was someone who could easily confide in her, only to learn later that few people knew about her.
She is 5 years older than him, from the same village and town, and both relatives are familiar with each other. When I met her, she was already married. However, her marriage is more "trendy" than traditional marriage, which I admire and admire, and she deserves to be called a "financial woman".
The rural hometown cares about face, and there are all the processes that must be done together, so in fact, the wedding was held, but in fact, there was no certificate, and it was not obtained after three or four years. I don't know what kind of psychology and situation it was, but the fact is that there were three or four pairs around me who were like this, and I only found out later. So in the past two years, I have seen any kind of partner-style marriage, unlicensed marriage, and open marriage, I have long been surprised, and I have seen these in the early years.
Ordinary people care about evidence more than form, and their wedding method has opened up new ideas for me. And when the certificate is obtained, it is basically that the child is born and has to go to the household registration or school, and then he goes to make up for a marriage certificate. It's a trendy way, and I think this girl should be very assertive. However, the conversation that followed made me feel uncomfortable.
His husband did well in our industry before, and now he is not as good as before, but the connections and money are all there. I've seen it later, and it's a very handsome guy indeed. Then I came across a classic question that was difficult to answer.
If you knew that your best friend's object was cheating, would you tell her?Thankfully, I came up with this problem much later, and at that time I realized that the story she told me when we first met was actually an easier confession to strangers, not that she didn't know about it.
Xiao Tao is very thin, very good at dressing up, very good-looking girl. She should have been less than 26 when we met, and she said she had been trying to get pregnant. For the sake of being single, I usually choose the appropriate care for this kind of problem and then find another topic to skip over. It was probably because she wanted someone to talk to, so I listened to it in embarrassment and scratching my cheeks.
She used to work in Shenzhen and also had her own favorite objects. After several separations, the elders in the family always felt that the object was too far away from their hometown, so when they returned to their hometown during the Chinese New Year, they introduced her current object and came to Shanghai to develop together. is a talented woman, and she can't stand some prodigalities in this industry.
Xiao Tao was pregnant before, and she quarreled with her partner during pregnancy, and she was pushed to have a miscarriage, so now she has been pregnant for a long time and has not been pregnant. I was amazed at that time, and I didn't hide it. "It's not a distinction like this" blurted out like this, but she was a little embarrassed. "Some things are not just a simple breakup, but also involve two families. And then the conversation was over, but it was always in my mind.
It's just that I didn't expect that within a few months, I would meet her partner, and I would have heard too many stories about his lace from other people's mouths. At first, I also inquired with my friends around me to find out if he was in trouble, that girl was not deceived, and then I found out that the things in this world are really a wish to fight and a wish to suffer. How can the pillow people who get along day and night not know what the other half is like!
For more than two years, I often heard her say that her family urged the child, she ran to the hospital twice in three days, and went to several tertiary hospitals in Shanghai for examination, and there was no problem. She wanted the subject to go with her, but the man didn't want to do it anyway, so she was under a lot of pressure.
finally conceived a child, and fell into another anxiety, the man's parents expected to have a boy. Although she can say it, everyone understands that she also wants to be a boy. Those things during pregnancy, everything I know, can be published in a ** collection, and there are still things I don't know.
In short, when she gave birth in Shanghai, I happened to be on a business trip, and all my friends went except me. When I came back, my friend said, "Her parents are too patriarchal, and she should have a hard time in the future." The terrible thing is that even the woman's parents are patriarchal, let alone the man's parents. The daughter-in-law just gave birth to a child and was still in the hospital, so she shook her face directly when many friends congratulated her. It's hard for me to imagine how hard it must be for her to be strong.
I caught up with the children's 100-day banquet, a very magnificent venue, a huge round table, separated everyone, and I couldn't see who was on the other side. It soon became clear to me that this was a business banquet, mainly to entertain the man's friends. The woman's ones are sitting here, just eat as much as you like. Hey, a life with a lot of face, a life with no lining.
It is okay to quarrel wantonly before marriage, it is okay to tolerate but quarrel without children after marriage, and it is necessary to endure when you have children after marriage. Although I haven't seen her girlish and bright appearance, I can see that she has been a working woman for more than 4 years.
After that, there were a few times when I was already a listener next to me. Because I am unmarried and have no children, I really can't get into the topic of a few married young mothers. 3 girls, sitting together and complaining the most is that it was okay before there were no children, and there were contradictions that could be overcome, but now they are irreconcilable contradictions, and they all have the idea of divorce. It's basically focused on the contradictions between him and his in-laws.
What confinement period offends the parents-in-law and mother-in-law, and does not come to see the grandson for a year;The in-laws don't help take care of the children, not to mention, they always add to the chaos, always kissing indiscriminately or bringing them to the smoking scene. When Xiao Tao heard this, her face was just a little unnatural. She is too strong, and she says a lot of things very indifferently, and she takes it lightly. "I don't care so much about the girl, so I asked my mother to bring it!”
The "bunting" incidents that I thought would be jumping did not break up this pair. Even whether it is the bankruptcy and reorganization of the company, the re-demarcation of equity, the removal from the list of shareholders, etc., it is just a very normal event that happens in Shanghai, and it is still accepted calmly. It's like finally choosing to go back to your hometown to raise your children, and face those failures and unbearable together. Maybe this is marriage, don't understand but respect.
Then she also came to Shanghai once, and I didn't see it that day when I moved, so I don't know what the situation is now. Telling other people's stories, sometimes I feel bad myself. I can't put myself in their shoes, and I can't make decisions for the other person. If it were me, I wouldn't do it. In countless stories, I insisted on my own opinion, but I also felt sorry for the other party.
I used to be interested in the financial industry, but now most of the advice I give to others is that women are not suitable for this industry, especially when it comes to my industry.
At least eight of the ten men around me advocate that the red flag at home should not fall, and the colorful flags fluttering outside, strongly restraining the other half and indulging themselves to the fullest. The ninth one has no fixed partner at all, and there is a rare one like Huo Qigang, which I can only say that I haven't seen at present, and I am occasionally fortunate to see it on the newspaper and magazine network.
But those who are older and look more restrained are most likely to play when they were young, and now that their children are older, they should be more leisurely. At the dinner table, a few glasses of wine were eaten, and I had already started talking about business to talking about women. In the beginning, I will try to be as mellow as possible without losing my position. Now I'm just like Xiao Tao at that time, I'm not weird, and I can occasionally pick up two comments.
Resist, accept, numb, is the next step for all dragon slayers to become evil dragons?I don't know, I know these bad habits, and the lower and lower three views have been influencing me. I hate men, I don't believe in men, I firmly believe that I haven't gone bad now, it's just that there are no conditions. These are all lessons that have been accumulated over time in my work life.
Xiao Tao's story is just the most normal story from a female perspective among the countless bloody stories around me. There are many, many more stories from the perspective of scumbags and scumbags. These real people and real things are like spider webs, dragging my three views down.
I often talk to a few of my friends from the past, who do traditional jobs. Whenever there is a similar topic, I feel like my thoughts have been broken a lot, and they are like my anchors. But the more this happens, the more it tears me apart. I love what I do, but I hate most of the people I associate with, and my life is inseparable from them at the same time.
It's easy for Xiao Tao and her object to be together, several matchups from the elders, and the ex's not firm enough, so they are together. When I was young, I thought that being together was such a big step, but now I know that this is only the first step, and every step after that is difficult to stay together, and it is even more difficult to separate.
100 help plan
At this time, I was in such a state of mind, and because of a little preparation, I stepped into the financial industry. After a few years of work, I was in great pain, and looking back, I didn't know how to do other jobs, and it was difficult to break up.