"Stick education" seems to have a very good market in China, and many parents believe in it"If you don't fight, you can't be talented, and you will be a good person under the yellow wattle stick".。After beating the child, he also called it a beautiful name:"I hit you for your own good".；Parents think that by "hitting the child", they can make the child better and better, in fact,Hitting a child will only bring harm to the child
One of the most liked replies was:When I was a child, I was often beaten by my parents, and my father used his belt to let me know what it was like to be desperate and let me know how hope was lost。Until now that I'm 30 years old, I haven't felt safe. The wound of being beaten as a child pierced deep into my heart like a needle.
In fact, the difference between a child who is "often beaten" and a child who is "never beaten" is the whole life!The more obvious differences are the following two points:
From the child's point of view, he is a vulnerable group, and from the perspective of parents, we are relatively strong. If we were indiscriminate and didn't explain to him the cause and effect of the incident, he didn't know why he was beaten. At this moment, the child is still relatively young, and he will not resist, so his heart must be full of fear and fear.
Some parents regret hitting their children very much, and some parents have formed a habit of hitting their children. At the end of the day, I'll make the same mistake next time. We must learn to listen more and communicate more.
Children who are often beaten when they are young will always live in the shadow of "beating", become cautious, and their personalities can easily become irritable, irritable, and aggressive, because children are affected by parental violence, and subconsciously use aggression to protect themselves.
There are also some children who will become inferior and cowardly, and they dare not even look into the eyes of others when they speak. This is because the beating and scolding of parents makes the child have no self-confidence and "dare not" do anything.
Therefore, children who are often beaten are more likely to have low self-esteem and negative personality when they grow up, while children who are never beaten are more confident, optimistic and have a more positive personality.
Educating children is not as simple as beating and beating. And the excellence of a child is definitely not played by parents. A person's future is the result of a family's efforts, and those who live a good life today are the result of the correct life and correct parenting of their ancestors. During this period, there was a great deal of accumulated wisdom.
Although we are parents, we are not necessarily proficient in "education". We often teach our children based on our own experiences and habits, and our experience is not necessarily correct or scientific. If we educate our children in the wrong way, we really can't predict what the future direction of their children will be.
I recommend some parents who are very temperamental and impulsive to take a look at this bookPositive disciplineIt is a twenty years of parenting experience summarized by family education experts and can help parents better nurture their children. Positive parenting is a method of disciplining children without discipline or pampering.
In the process of children's growth, there will be many thorny problems, such as rebellion, isolation, sensitivity, school boredom and so on.
I always feel powerless in the face of these parents, but these 5 books are close to life cases to help parents sort out the problems comprehensively and guide their children correctly.
The content of the book focuses on practical operation, does not talk empty words, and combines thousands of real cases to discuss, what parents should do, what children should do, at a glance. After reading it, you can learn a lot of practical methods, and it is a very practical set of family education tools.
While letting children learn to respect and be grateful, parents can also learn how to communicate with their children calmly and truly enter their children's hearts.
A mom asks her three-year-old child, "Do you know mommy really loves you?"The child replied, "Yes, if I am good, you will love me." "We unconsciously attach conditions to love. And "Positive Discipline" will guide us to return love to its essence, and our education is just pure and unconditional love.
It is only in a kind and determined atmosphere that children can develop self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation, and problem-solving skills.
In this way, they can learn lifelong social and life skills that will enable them to achieve good academic results.
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