Xiao Liu, a classmate from Xiaoshan District, Hangzhou, recounted: I am sensitive again, so I have already broken up three times. At this moment, I love my girlfriend very much, and I always want to spoil her as a princess and love her for a lifetime, but when she communicates with me about some problems, I always fall into her emotional self-blame and anxiety, and constantly apologize in pieces. She also reflects that many times she needs you to give emotional strength, but many of them have to comfort you and ask you not to blame yourself. Every time I hear him say this, she sometimes feels tired with me, how can I change quickly, my sensitivity is too harmful.
Emotional answer: I can understand your feelings when I see your situation, because I care too much about my girlfriend, I hope to do my best for everything about her, so you are very focused on her, very sensitive, and you can perceive and empathize with her small changes into the other party's feelings to experience the other party, but in this process, too focused into the other party's emotions, so you blame yourself, Apologize, and eventually the cycle makes your girlfriend feel like you're not giving her the strength to deal with your problems when she's down, and she feels tired and you feel like it's causing you trouble.
So why is this the result, each of our behaviors has its own reasons behind it, that is, what we call the core beliefs, what the core beliefs are that determine how we deal with the corresponding problems, so, when you find your girlfriend's emotions, you can pay attention to what is in your heart, maybe at this time you will feel that your girlfriend needs your deep empathy and self-blame and apology, or something else, this time is the best time to be aware of our hearts, you can pay attention, if you find something inappropriate and unreasonable, you can consciously correct these conceptsMaybe your girlfriend needs more of your comfort, support, or untying some heart knots and other output methods that can give her strength when she has emotions, so that she can feel that her emotions are accepted and understood, and she will not feel that it is a burden, and I hope you can try to find the logic behind your behavior when you have time, so that you can do better.
You cherish your girlfriend, spoil her and love her, and in the process of getting along with her, it feels that you are really not easy and understand your difficulties.
You mentioned"Sensitive"Two words. Sensitivity is a trait, but being overly sensitive can be stressful in your relationship. Let's take a look at how to deal with this and how to get out of sensitivity.
Understand the breakups and self-blame you experienced because of your sensitivity. It must be painful, and you love your girlfriend so much that you want to be with her for a long time.
In the process of communicating with your girlfriend, you will unconsciously overfall into her emotions, causing you to feel anxious and self-blaming. This emotional state makes you feel very tired and even affects your relationship.
Your sensitivity may cause you to focus too much on your girlfriend's emotions when communicating with her, ignoring your own feelings and needs, and putting yourself in a state of self-forgetfulness. This over-focus on other people's emotions can make you and her feel tired and anxious, and even affect your self-esteem.
At the same time, you also mention that your girlfriend needs you to give emotional strength, but you also need her comfort to alleviate your self-blame, which can make your relationship unbalanced.
First, you need to recognize that your sensitivity is a trait, not a flaw. Sensitive people tend to be more delicate and caring for others, but excessive sensitivity can have a negative impact on relationships. Second, you need to learn to focus on your own feelings and needs when communicating, rather than just focusing on the other person's emotions. When you feel anxious and blame yourself, try to stop and think about your true feelings and needs, and don't get too caught up in the other person's emotions. Finally, you can communicate openly with your girlfriend about your feelings and needs, seeking mutual understanding and support.
You can think about how your sensitivity affects your life and how you hope to change itYou can try some self-healing methods, such as meditation, journaling, or exercise, to reduce your anxiety and self-blame.