Text: Zhou Peng.
Psychologist Zeng Qifeng has a metaphor for the "sense of boundary": "The boundary of the cliff is very clear, so we don't get too close;However, the boundaries of the water are blurred, so people often drown. ”The relationship between managers and people cannot be unscrupulous. It's like swimming in a river, if you don't know the depth, it's easy to threaten your own safety.
In the exchange between the opposite sex, it is necessary to pay attention to the choice of time and place.
If you always talk to each other in the dead of night, it is easy for pure feelings to become ambiguous.
After 10 o'clock in the evening, don't talk about three topics with the opposite sex, and if you talk about it, something will happen.
The best friend has some crush on her boss, and she tries to restrain her feelings.
Because, she knows that her boss has already started a family, and even if she confesses, there will be no future for her relationship.
The boss's wife is a ** and often works night shifts. As long as his wife works the night shift, he uses the excuse that he can't sleep and pulls his girlfriend to chat.
From the experience when I was a child, to talking about studying and working, I told each other many secrets that were not known to outsiders.
The girlfriend's dependence and love for him grows deeper and deeper, and the relationship between them is eventually discovered by his wife. They were forced to leave the company, and the two broke off their relationship in awkwardness.
Chat between people of the opposite sex, don't talk about each other's secrets casually, you will unconsciously open your heart to each other.
Zhou Guoping said: "The sense of proportion is a sign of mature love, which knows how to observe the necessary distance between people in interpersonal communication. ”Evenings are a very private time, and if there is a lot of private talk between people of the opposite sex at this time, it will gradually go beyond the scope of friends.
If it is impossible for the opposite sex to be together, do not contact each other too often.
Even if you're chatting, don't snoop into the other person's secrets. Because, the more you know, the more you will feel that the relationship between two people is not ordinary, and it is difficult to define the sense of boundaries between each other.
The feelings between the opposite sex, many times, are talked about. In particular, when they are with each other, they often talk about their hearts.
For example, when chatting, I always think about each other's lives and want to know what troubles the other person has encountered. When talking about the mood, I can't help but give the other party moral support.
This way of chatting is very addictive and can also create a sense of dependence.
"The Grandmaster" said: "For people at inappropriate times, they should be restrained, and they should not cross the thunder pool in their lives." ”Between the opposite sex, they talk too much about their hearts, and they always can't help but want to comfort each other, or wait for each other's greetings. Get used to having a conversation with each other before going to bed so that you can sleep peacefully.
Then, the relationship between two people will begin to develop in an unusual direction.
After 10 o'clock in the evening, the human brain will be occupied by emotions.
Get along with the opposite sex, don't talk about things casually, and don't let the other party easily enter your heart.
In particular, if it is not suitable to develop a romantic relationship with the other person, do not give too much warmth and help.
In "The First Half of My Life", Luo Zijun clearly knew that He Han and her best friend Tang Jing were lovers, but she and He Han crossed the line and fell in love with each other.
A large part of the reason is that He Han knows too many things about Luo Zijun and always acts as her emotional mentor.
Luo Zijun showed his vulnerability and helplessness in front of He Han, which stimulated He Han's desire to protect and extended friendship into love.
When the two people realized that this relationship was out of control, it was too late to stop the precipice.
With the opposite sex, after ten o'clock in the evening, talking about feelings, it is easy to talk about ambiguous feelings.
Because, when talking about feelings, I feel sorry for the other party's injuries and suffering, and I can't help but want to protect her and become her dependence. Gradually, the feelings between each other will quietly deteriorate.
If you know that two people should not have a closer relationship, you should pay attention to your words and actions.
Don't say too much about feelings and keep a certain distance. Especially when it's too late, don't talk about feelings with the opposite sex.
Talking about feelings and feelings with each other is easy to subconsciously substitute into a "couple" relationship.
After 10 o'clock, don't talk to the opposite sex easily. Between the opposite sex, no matter how good the relationship is, there must be a sense of proportion.
Friends need to help each other, but before helping each other, think about whether you will create too many misunderstandings by doing so.
If you don't love each other, don't contact each other casually after ten o'clock.
Be cautious, friendship can be purer, and getting along will become simpler.
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About the author: Zhou Peng, an emotional writer, takes dreams as horses and words for a living. Carefully build Zhou Peng's meditation classroom, committed to cultivating the mind, improving cognition, and surpassing oneself. Grow together along the way.