To every North Drifter, you and I are all people who have come over time

Wen Huo Gang.

The sun came in through the window and it was warm.

This is a photo taken on February 18, 2012, the first place I rented in Beijing, in a village in Changping District. A bed, a table, that's all the furniture, simple but satisfying.

At that time, I was Xi at a magazine, and I was full of infinite yearning for the future. Even if there is no concrete goal, there is a lot of hope in my heart.

I wake up a little after 6 a.m. every day, take a bus, then take the BRT, then take line 5, which takes about an hour and a half. Arrived at Liujiayao Station at about eight o'clock. Some people may say that you are not sick, the place where you live and the place where you work almost cross half of the city of Beijing, and it takes an hour and a half to go to work, what is the picture?

I do not know. All I know is that my friends live here too.

At that time, you could find a job in the huge city of Beijing, but my friends were not.

In the past two days, the Beijing subway has occupied the hot search for a long time, and it is even tied with the Dong Yuhui incident. I brushed such a ** this morning, which reminded me of my own past.

The title is:Today's subway in Beijing is too difficult.

That's true. And it's not just today, in ordinary Beijing, such scenes are being staged during the rush hour of the subway station every day. Those who get off can't get off, those who get on can't get up, and we're like a little fish being pushed around in the **.

This is the real Beijing, this is also the real thousands, when we just said goodbye to the university campus, the body is full of inexhaustible energy. Wake up the alarm clock at half past six, sit on the most crowded Line 5, eat pancakes from street stalls, sleep at the desk, talk about the simplest love, and be one of the twenty million people who rush around in this largest international city.

*, the most liked comment is: Don't go back to your hometown yet?Why are you suffering here?

The commenter's IP showed that it was Beijing, and I felt the smell of self-deprecation.

yes, why not go home?Why don't so many people go home?Why do so many people suffer that kind of pain there every day?

Because, this is Beijing.

A place where you don't even have a place to stay, but you don't want to leave.

There is a good pay there. As long as you have enough ability and can endure hardships, you can get the salary you deserve because of your labor efforts, from the executives in the office to the little brothers who run takeaways. If someone else gives more, you can wipe your mouth after lunch and go to work at another company in the afternoon.

There's relative fairness there. The first real job I found was found from my resume Xi 58.com, and most people in big cities get opportunities by submitting resumes. As long as you are capable, you will be able to get a place in the company you want to work for. From small to nameless, to large factories, such as NetEase and Bytes.

There are extravagant dreams there. I go back and forth between my place and office every day, and I only have a little time to myself from 6 p.m. to 6 p.m. the next day, which is busy and fulfilling. The first thing in the news network is exactly what you encounter during the day, the world is so close. You'll interview Tong Liya, you'll meet Gao Yuanyuan, you'll even easily get Zhang Yimou's autograph, and a dozen TV actors will sit in front of you at a press conference. Beijing, as long as you work hard, will get closer to your dreams.

There is genuine camaraderie there. Ye Qing, Ma Wei, Li Jiannan and other friends. Meet in an unfamiliar city, go to the old market to buy furniture, go to Chaoyang Road to rent a house, play pen fairy, cook and drink late at night, sing K on weekends, and drink until half past three. I have never envied other people's Mercedes-Benz BMW, and an electric pedal is our best tool to go out.

There is damn youth there. In his early twenties, he said goodbye to the university campus, completely confused about the future, and chose to find a job in a metropolis that he had never touched to start his career, which was full of unknownsOr go back to the hometown where you have stayed for eighteen years and continue to live. When you choose the metropolis, you choose to put your youth there. When you look back more than ten years later, you will feel that your soul is still alive and well.

There's the freedom of ** there. With a population of 40 million, the hurried Jianguomen, and the congested Line 6, you can't find anyone who knows you, and your heart is extremely relaxed in such an environment. With a huge museum, a cool Apple store, a long bus stop, no one will look up to you or despise you, everyone is in a hurry. You even take off your clothes and walk down the street, just thinking of you as a performance artist.

What an amazing place to be, especially for a young girl who has just graduated.

Years later, it is still fascinating to look back on.

Part 2 of that comment: What do you do with this sin?

Where is the crime here, this is exactly what a flower and bone strive to bloom, in a strange city, be a diligent worker, and live a life of your choice.

There, there is also endless helplessness, so many people also choose to leave. Some people because of their children's education, some people because of their partners in different places, some people because of their parents in their hometown, some people because of stable jobs, and some people because they are tired.

Staying, there is the feeling of staying, leaving, there is the helplessness of leaving. Reality must have realistic choices.

In 2014, I also chose to leave, in that spring.

Today is December 17, 2023, and it has been more than nine years since I returned to my hometown. This time, if left to the baby, is now in the second and third grades;If it were left to elementary school students, they would have graduated from university now.

When I was in school, I thought it was such a long time, but now that I look at it, it is as fast as a rain.

So, will those who return to their hometowns no longer suffer?

Probably. There is no distance from home, and thirty minutes to work is far away;There is no overtime, I go to work at half past eight and leave work at half past five, all of which are tired;There is no trouble, after work, sit in the small restaurant of three or five partners, drink a little wine, and blow a bull, all of which belong to happiness.

If your neighbor buys a BMW, you have to have an Audi goal;If a neighbor marries a daughter-in-law, you will lose the freedom to remain single in the eyes of your parents and seven aunts and eight aunts;If your neighbor takes the public institution exam, you will become the unproductive one in the eyes of your neighborsThe neighbor asked the third uncle to find a relationship and enter a good unit through the back door, and your parents would be inexplicably stressed.

You see, your hometown is not as comfortable as you imagined, and the fourth-tier cities and first-tier consumption even crush you to the point that you can't breathe.

In life, there is less passion and fun, and in work, there is more boredom and internal friction.

As a result, we seem to be immersed in the comfortable life of our hometown, but our souls have nowhere to put them.

Later, I think it was probably one day in 2022, and I chose to reconcile with my self in the spring of 2014.

I had forgotten what it was, and I suddenly realized that we were just ordinary people.

No matter how big the dream was, how fresh the youth, how much freedom there was, in time travel, you must make a choice on the topic of life, you have to succumb to the torrent of time, and it is the right solution to pose for the arrival of the next storm.

Looking back, choosing the metropolis, I have youth, freedom and dreams;Choosing my hometown, I have a plain, middle-aged and loved one. If life is a torrent, I just paddle my arms in different positions in different sections of the river, so that I don't indulge.

It's just that there is always hardship and helplessness.

You see, there are thousands of lonely swimmers in big cities and hundreds of thousands in small places, and each of them is an independent individual in life, with a unique experience, white is like white clouds, blue is like the sea, red is like a flame, and color is like a rainbow.

Many years later, in the middle of the night, I reminisced with words, only to realize that you and I are both people who have come over time.

Fragments of time in Beijing.