Every woman wants a man to love herself well in her relationship, but not everyone can do so. When many students found me, they all said that men's attitudes towards themselves are very different, and they can't do it at first, but they don't cherish it after they get it.
Why are these girls obviously in a high position at the beginning, but they become low everywhere and are pinched by men? The answer is very simple, that is, it has not grasped human nature and has not understood the psychology of men.
So in today's lesson, the teacher will teach you a few mental methods from a male perspective. As long as you learn it and really do it, then you will definitely be able to manage the relationship well, and the man will love you more and more.
First of all, the first is self-demand
What does that mean? It is to pay attention to your own feelings first, and what needs do you have, and dare to bring it up to men, not to take this into account, to take into account that.
Whether you are happy and comfortable in this relationship is the most important thing.
In fact, when two people are together, the most taboo thing is to guess and guess, if there is anything to say, do not say it directly, and let the other party guess. Obviously, I can't be angry in my heart, but I just pretend it doesn't matter.
I'm fine", "I'm not angry", "I'm fine", and then let the other person be aware of it and reflect on it. If the other party guesses wrong, he is more angry, and if he guesses correctly, he may not admit it arrogantly, and then express his emotions in a weird way.
What does this lead to? You think that men don't understand themselves, but men, they are confused, they don't know what's going on, and they don't know how to coax. The two of them were in such a stalemate, because of inexplicable emotional quarrels, and even cold wars.
I've found that many girls have this logic, which is, "If you love me, you should understand me, know what I think, know why I'm angry, why I'm unhappy." If you don't know, then you don't love me. ”
Of course, the teacher can also understand that this is a typical female thinking, but this logic does not actually hold. If you follow this logic, you will find out who understands you best? The scumbag knows you best, why? Because he has rich experience in the love scene, he is very good at capturing the needs of girls.
And the vast majority of men, he is not so experienced, so he does not have this ability. I'm sure everyone doesn't want to meet a scumbag, so what to do?
It is to teach your partner to love you the way you like, to know what you like, what you hate, what you can't accept the most, etc. After the other party fully understands your rules, then it is easy for you to adjust him well.
For example, you like to receive flowers, you care a lot about the ritual of getting along, and you want to receive gifts on some special days. Another example is that you hate the Cold War, you can't accept that the other party has no sense of boundaries with other members of the opposite sex, you don't like lazy, unmotivated men, etc.
You can subtly release your information in your relationship, so that he can understand your preferences, your principles and bottom lines, and your needs. In this way, there is no need for two people to guess and consume each other.
Everyone is an adult, and they all have their own things to do, and if you put all your energy on guessing each other's thoughts, then both of you will be very tired. What does a truly mature intimacy look like? It is this relationship that will nourish both parties.
The second is to give full play to the value of altruism
The essence of feelings is value exchange, people are selfish, you must be together because there is something attractive to each other, and each other is valuable. If you want someone to die for you, you have to do it, then you have to know your own value and what benefits you can bring to the other person.
Let's talk about soft value first, which is mainly emotional value, such as the other party's experience with you when he is together, his state is very pleasant. As for the hard value, it is mainly some of the resources you bring with you, and what real help you can provide to the other party.
No matter what the relationship is, if you want the other party to pay more attention to you, you can't do without you, the premise is that the altruistic value you play is enough, and then you will have more initiative.
For example, you have a relatively high emotional intelligence, can speak, can provide a man with a particularly high emotional value, and can get to the point in every sentence, enter his heart, and meet his emotional needs.
No matter what things don't go well with a man, as soon as you enlighten him with a few words, his mood will instantly turn cloudy, and as soon as you are coquettish, his heart will melt, and any troubles will disappear. To him, you are a confidant or an interpreter-like existence.
For example, if you have a high self-worth, a better family condition, a strong work ability, a good ability to make money, etc., you can help him in his career, provide him with some resources or help, and achieve a win-win situation.
So what are you going to do? You must first figure out your own advantages, find your value to this man, and make good use of this advantage, then you can easily win this man's heart.
The third is to fill the emotional void
After knowing yourself and knowing your opponent, you should also pay attention to not putting all your energy on this man, but what are you going to do? Pay more attention to your own feelings, love yourself seven points, set aside three points to love each other, and meet the emotional needs of the other person. Of course, different types of men must have different needs for relationships.
If you are the kind of man who is more honest, well-behaved, and has been disciplined by his parents since childhood, you can untie the shackles on him, show him your fun and novelty, and take him to do some exciting and challenging things, such as bungee jumping, drag racing, in short, things he has never experienced before.
If it is the kind of man who is insecure and even a little bit of a mother-lover, you can show your gentle and considerate side, create a sense of comfort and belonging for him, feel that he is cared for and taken care of, so that he will become attached to you.
And if you are the kind of career-oriented man with rich experience, you can show your spiritual independence more, exchange ideas with him more, and usually release some of the charm of the interpretation flower, so that he feels that you are a woman with a strong core and understands him very well.
When you can sway a person's emotions and fill the emotional void deep in his heart, you are special to the man. He will feel that you know him best, that he is very comfortable with you, and that others can't compare to him at all, then he will love you more and more, and he can't do without you at all.
Question: Do you have any emotional confusion? Caizi** will answer for you.