Central Primary School of Foxing Town, Lezhi County, Sichuan Province.
People often use the stories of "Newton's Little Bench" and "The Spider's Web of Prussia, King of Scotland" to illustrate that failure is the mother of success, but is this assumption correct?
Teacher Liu Jia, head of the Department of Psychology of Tsinghua University, brought a erudite course with the theme of "Diving into the Abyss to Leap into the Sky" in the live broadcast room of "Yuanshan Erudite Class". Teacher Liu Jia told the students: If we only think that we can succeed by trial and error when we are experiencing difficulties, then we are likely to face greater failures. In class, Ms. Liu Jia explained to the students through three stories why failure is not the mother of success, and what students should do in the face of difficulties.
01 A Dog's Story: Failure is just the mother of failure
Psychologist Sailly put a dog in a cage in an experiment, and at first struggled frantically when the dog was shocked, but because the cage door was closed, the dog could not escape. Many times later, the dog did not struggle even after receiving an electric shock, and even when Sailly opened the cage door, the dog remained indifferent in the cage.
This phenomenon is called "learned helplessness": when you keep facing a difficult situation, you keep trying, and you find that the effort doesn't help and you can't change the situation, even if the opportunity presents itself to you, you will give it up.
When we face a lot of setbacks and failures, if we do not have proper psychological preparation, psychological adjustment, and psychological methods, we will not become stronger from suffering and difficulties, but will become more helpless, and even give up the efforts we should have. From this point of view, failure is only the mother of failure.
If we encounter too many setbacks and failures, how should we extricate ourselves from this uncomfortable state?
02 The Story of a Mouse: The Counterattack of the Weak
Professor Hu Hailan of Zhejiang University has done an experiment on mice. In this experiment, a higher-ranking mouse and a lower-ranking mouse met head-on in a tube, and if in nature, the higher-ranking animal would generally win over the lower-ranking animal. In the experiment, Professor Hu Hailan strengthened the connection between the dorsal thalamus of the subcortex and the medial prefrontal cortex of the cerebral cortex of the low-ranking mouse through a beam of light, which changed its brain and gave it the courage to move forward and win over the higher-ranking mice. In subsequent experiments, the lower-ranking rat won ten times in a row with the help of this light, and then when the light disappeared, it was still able to defeat the higher-ranking rat and win.
The self-confidence that comes with ten victories changes the mouse's brain, giving it the confidence to overcome difficulties and face other challenges. This phenomenon is known as the "winner's effect": success does not accumulate with defeats, but needs to be watered with victories.
In the face of a big dilemma, we need to first achieve some sustained and controllable small victories, and then build up confidence through the winner's effect before achieving a greater success, which is "small victories into big victories". Teacher Liu Jia took the students' exams as an example and explained how to better complete the exam through the winner's effect: when facing a test paper, do simple questions first, and give yourself confidence through continuous success, so that even if you face difficult problems, you have the confidence to do it.
Each of us aspires to succeed, but many times, failure is the norm. Harry Potter author Jk.Rowling has been rejected by 12 publishers, saying that she writes too poorly;The legendary rock band The Beatles were once criticized by the old British record label for "not liking their voices" and refusing to publish their records;The founder of Disneyland was also fired by the owner of the newspaper for his "lack of imagination". Even celebrities who have achieved a lot of things are constantly experiencing all sorts of failures.
The lower rank of the little mouse defeats the higher rank mouse with the help of a beam of light, so what is our "beam of light"?It's a "growth mindset": everything is about individual effort, and the world is full of fun challenges that help us learn and grow.
Teacher Liu Jia showed the students the application of growth mindset in learning: various exams in learning are not to embarrass you, but to help you learn and grow interesting challenges. Through assignments and exams, you will know where you have not learned better and where you can improve yourself. When you see the classmates next to you surpassing you, you will not look down on yourself and feel ashamed, but you will feel inspired and able to learn from him. As Edison said, "I didn't fail 1,000 times." The electric light was invented after 1,000 steps."
Many times failure is not only the failure itself, but more importantly, failure brings us frustration and the ridicule of bystanders. Harvard psychologist Brooks says that "one of life's biggest obstacles is the fear of humiliation," so how do we stick to a growth mindset in the face of the ridicule and scorn that follows?
03 The Story of a Monk: True Bravery
A monk was giving a lecture to his apprentices, and suddenly met **, and the apprentices were all frightened, but the old monk sat very calmly with a bowl of water, and drank two sips of water from time to time. After the ** subsided, the old monk taught the apprentices to learn their own composure. One of the apprentices said, "Master, you really didn't move. But you're holding a bowl of ink, not tea. The old monk drank a lot of ink, in fact, his heart was also very panicked, he just pretended to be calm.
We need courage to face the unknown and fear, and failure inevitably brings panic. True courage is that we admit our fears and cowardice, but we still continue to challenge and move forwardEven though there may be things we can't do, we will still try our best to reach our full potential.
In the interactive questioning session, Ms. Liu Jia answered the questions of three students from the project schools. Students from Yongtai School in Shaanxi Province asked "How to get out of setbacks and failures?".Teacher Liu Jia told the students to first find out what the reason for failure is, then accept it, don't blame yourself, and use it as a force to motivate yourself to move forward. Students from Pingya Central Primary School in Gansu Province asked, "How do you become a good psychologist like you?"Teacher Liu Jia suggested that students keep reading and keep moving forward with a heart to explore the future. Students from Sichuan Foxing Primary School asked, "How can I learn to improve?"Teacher Liu Jia pointed out that it is necessary to spend time learning every day, accumulate over time, and at the same time explore with a thirst for knowledge and learn with a sense of curiosity.
At the end of the course, Ms. Liu Jia told the students, "You are still studying in school, and your future is full of infinite possibilities. I hope that through today's sharing, we can let everyone know that when we face difficulties, we must strive to move forward and use actions to increase more opportunities for ourselves. We need to use a growth mindset to make ourselves confident, so that we can do something that is helpful to society and humanity with our limited life. ”
Testimonials from students of Guanjing Primary School in Hefei City, Anhui Province.