I moved to a new house, my second aunt gave a gift of 300, she married her daughter, I gave a gift of 600, and my second aunt was too ashamed
At the end of last month, my second aunt called my father** and told him that my cousin would get married on the 10th of this month, and invited our family to the wedding banquet.
The second aunt also reminded that the arrangements for this wedding are different, and the woman's relatives do not need to arrange a banquet separately, but only need to go to the man's house to dine in a five-star hotel in the city.
After hanging up**, the second aunt immediately posted a wedding invitation in the family group. I glanced at the banquet venue, and it turned out to be a five-star hotel in the city.
I thought that my cousin's fiancé should have a pretty good family, otherwise he wouldn't have chosen to hold a wedding in a five-star hotel in the city.
Because of this hotel, the budget for each table is at least 2000 yuan. I did a brief calculation, and it was estimated that our woman's relatives would occupy 10 tables, and it would cost a total of 20,000 yuan.
I have a family of five, three adults and two children. I discussed with my father and decided to give my cousin a gift of 1,000 yuan.
My father said he would wait until he looked at the gift slip when my family moved to a new house before making a decision.
Just in 2020, our family moved to a new house. Because of my mother's illness, we didn't have a big wedding reception, we only invited relatives and some close friends.
At that time, we chose one of the best hotels in the county, which cost about 1,800 yuan per table. After the whole wedding banquet, my family's expenses and income were basically the same, and there was neither profit nor loss.
I remember very well that at that time, there were 10 people in the second aunt's family (the second aunt, the uncle, the eldest cousin's family of four, the little cousin's family of three, and the cousin), and they happened to sit at a table.
The most important thing for a wedding is to be lively. So, I didn't pay much attention at the time, and when they left, my wife gave each of their three children a red envelope of 100 yuan.
As for how much gift money the second aunt has, I didn't pay attention to it. Because the gift money was collected by my uncle, and the accounts were handled by my father, all the gift money ended up in my wife's pocket.
My father searched for a while before he found the name of his second aunt. The father took a look at it and said that the second aunt's family had a gift of 300 yuan at that time.
Considering that so many years have passed, I decided to add 300 yuan, for a total of 600 yuan as a gift, which is more appropriate. After much thought, my father agreed with my decision.
Because he was worried that 300 yuan was too little, it might not seem decent enough among relatives. But he felt that $1,000 was a bit much, so in the end he decided that $600 was an appropriate amount, neither too much nor too little.
On my cousin's wedding day, my whole family went to the wedding reception. Before giving the gift money, relatives asked me how much I planned to give with me, and I replied that it was 600 yuan.
Relatives said that I gave too little, and they all came with 1,200 yuan. Because when the second aunt went to their house to give gifts, it was 1,000 yuan, so they felt that they should add more.
So, I realized that the second aunt came to my house to give the least gifts. Moreover, some relatives had weddings earlier than mine.
I felt a little embarrassed, and I was embarrassed to tell my relatives about my second aunt coming to my house as a gift of 300 yuan. Therefore, I chose to remain silent, and finally gave a gift of 600 yuan.
After the wedding banquet, when we left, I thought that my second aunt would give my two children red envelopes. But unexpectedly, the second aunt gave red envelopes to the children of other relatives, but did not give my two children.
My wife saw that I was in a bad mood and persuaded me to adjust my mentality. We came to my cousin's wedding to send blessings, and there are some things that we really don't need to worry too much about.
I thought this matter would be over like this, but within a few days, my second aunt called ** and complained to my father, saying that the gift money I gave was too low, which made her feel embarrassed in front of her fiancé's family.
The second aunt said that at this wedding, I was the lowest among all the people, everyone else was thousands of yuan in gifts, and I was only one person who was less than 1,000 yuan.
I gave 600 yuan, which was simply looking down on her family.
The father was not angry, and after patiently listening to the second aunt's complaints, he just said: "Send a** to show you", and then hung up**.
My father directly found out the gift list when my family moved to a new house and sent all the ** to my second aunt. After I checked them one by one, it turned out that the second aunt came to my house to give gifts to the least.
My father never mentioned this to my wife and me, let alone complained to my second aunt.
When we moved to a new house, my second aunt's husband was hospitalized due to illness, and their family's life was really in trouble.
Because his father understood the difficult situation of the second aunt, he never blamed the second aunt for the matter of the ceremony.
On the contrary, the father even asked his wife to stuff 100 yuan in red envelopes for each of the three children of the second aunt's family. In this way, the second aunt's family has a total of ten people, and it can be said that they had a free meal at my house.
I think that the gift should be a mutually beneficial exchange, and how much you give, we should also return according to this standard.
If you give more, I will give more. The bottom line is that we have to measure it according to what we can afford, don't you think?