Meet · Meet your unknown self in the book. Good evening, dear book friends, and welcome to the Reading Good Books column produced by Fan Books"Encounter".。What we bring to you today is:"Stoner".。It seems to be forbearing, but in fact, it is public;It seems to be a compromise, but in fact it is insistence.
Stoner's life was an ordinary but not mediocre life.
When we really go through life, we will understand that maybe we are all Stoner. What do we pursue all our lives?This question has dominated the list in Zhihu for three consecutive days. It attracted nearly 100,000 people's attention, 10 million views, and more than 15,000 answers, which makes us can't help but askWhat is the purpose of living?Perhaps, in the masterpiece "Stoner" by the American writer John Williams, you can find the answer. This book tells the story of Stoner, a farmer's boy, who changed the trajectory of his life because of a literature class while he was studying agriculture in college. The author integrates his thoughts on life into the text, which not only has self-perseverance, the joys and sorrows of fate, but also the perception of ordinary life. Stoner's experience makes us understand:A person who has been poor all his life should listen to the call of his heart and live his true colors. 
Self-knowledge, restart the course of lifeStoner was born in Missouri, USA, to a poor peasant family. After graduating from high school, he took his father's expectations to change the farm and went to Columbia to study agriculture. In his first year, he did his homework as if he were working on a farm, and he achieved good results. Stoner was pleased with this, and he felt that his father's expectations would come true. But in the second year, he was troubled by the addition of an introduction to literature. Those literary works were like unpredictable clouds, no matter how hard he read them, he could not understand the meaning, so that he almost failed the exam. In order to graduate successfully, he can only get up early and stay late and use all the time to study. 
Even so, the words were still obscure, and just as he was about to despair, a wonderful thing happened. On this day, Professor Sloane, as usual, read Shakespeare's "Sonnet" in a deep and soft voice. When he reads, "Your love will be strengthened by this, because he will leave you for a long time," Stoner felt something flash through his mind, and he couldn't help but read silently along with Professor Sloan. Reading and reading, those obscure verses become clear, and the deep meaning in them also emerges. This discovery surprised and delighted him, and he felt a strong desire in his heart, eager to make sure of these verses. In this regard, the book writes: "His sense of self began to awaken, and he never perceived himself in this way. Soon, when it was time to choose courses for the next semester, Stoner was in a deep tangle. On the one hand, he has his own desire for literature, and on the other hand, he has the ardent expectations of his parents. Go with your heart, your parents are disappointed;Conform to your parents and lose your heart. After several struggles, he still couldn't give up literature, so he hid from his parents and quietly abandoned agricultural literature. Originally, he inherited his father's business, but finally successfully obtained a bachelor's degree, a master's degree, and a doctorate, and became a tenured lecturer at Columbia University. 
Writer Wu Qi wrote in "Silent Confession": "We are all our lives. It's about getting rid of other people's expectations and finding your true self." But there are too many people who follow in the footsteps of others, carry the expectations of others, and live the way others want. In this regard, Chen Haixian, a doctor of psychology, said: "Finding yourself is the reason for your existence in this world, and it is the proof that you are alive in this world." ”If you take other people's maps as your own path, you will only lose your way in the end, and only by knowing yourself from the heart can you grasp the course of your own life. 
Perseverance, not afraid of the tribulations of lifeStoner, who became a university lecturer, thought that he would be able to teach his students in peace, but at this time, the war between the United States and Germany broke out. For a time, the teachers and students of the school were enthusiastic and rushed to sign up for the war, and his colleagues invited him to join the army together. Looking at the fanatical faces, Stoner was at a loss: if he went, he would give up his ideals and would not be able to teach;If you don't go, you will be mistaken for greedy for life and afraid of death, and you will be spurned by others. In desperation, I had to consult Professor Sloane. Professor Sloan stared at Stoner, who was entangled in his heart, and said quietly"You have to remember who you are and who you choose to be. ”This sentence was like an enlightenment, which made Stoner wake up suddenly, and he resolutely refused the invitation of his colleagues, and stuck to his post in his work in the eyes of everyone. Sow the seeds, and they will blossom and bear fruit. 
When Stoner recognized his ideals and poured his passion into words, his class shined brightly, and was not only loved by the students, but also praised by the principal. But how can life be smooth sailing, and tribulations always come unexpectedly. Volcker, the head of the department's protégé, also wanted to be a teacher, so he took Stoner's seminar. In class, Volcker relied on his relationship with the head of the department, only willing to grandstand, and had no intention of studying steadily. ** When he pleaded, he stammered and answered the question, and Stoner vetoed him without hesitation. This made the head of the department very angry, and several times he asked Stoner to change the sentence, but Stoner rejected it outright. Stoner was well aware of the consequences of offending the head of the department, but he still stubbornly said: "If I let Volcker pass, he will become a teacher in the future, and it will be a disaster for the students." ”In the years that followed, Stoner lived under the repression of the head of the departmentHe was not allowed to continue teaching graduate students and was instead teaching new studentsHis classes were so messy that he couldn't concentrate on writing;even prevented his promotion, leaving him only an associate professor. Stoner endured all this in silence under tremendous pressure. He devoted himself to the world he loved, and worked tirelessly, not only publishing new books, but also teaching subjects that ranked first every year, becoming a legend of the school. 
Kant said: "I have long been committed to what I am determined to hold onto, and I will go down my own path, and nothing can stop me from pursuing it." ”Stoner perfectly interprets this sentence, he sticks to his corner, and he still forges ahead despite the hardships. He firmly believes that no matter how bad the situation is, as long as you persevere, the ordeal will eventually be replaced by joy. 
Reconciliation and epiphany of the true meaning of lifeLeo Tolstoy said, "Death is the inescapable end of all things." "Whether you want it or not, everyone will come to the end of their lives. When Stoner was found to have cancer at the age of 62, he was unusually calm and told his doctor not to tell anyone. Back at school, he began to work frantically until he had finished his work before going for surgery. After the operation, Stoner insisted on going home to recuperate, despite his frailty and the doctor's dissuasion, and he wanted to spend the last days of his life quietly. Lying in bed, Stoner always involuntarily recalled this life: he wanted to go further on the teaching path, and ended up being just an associate professor;I wanted to study literature, but I only published a book that no one cared about;I want to have a happy family, but I am faced with an indifferent wife and a rebellious daughter. The thought of this life as if it was nothing but failure or failure frustrated him. But in his frustration, he felt that he had missed something, and he couldn't help but ask himself, "What else do I expect?"”
This question haunted Stoner's mind, and when he awoke from his slumber again, he heard the cheerful laughter of the students outside the window, and a sense of pleasure arose. He remembered the shock of Shakespeare's "Sonnet", the joy of immersing himself in the world of literature, and the passionate teaching of ...... in classAt this moment, he suddenly realized that those failures that haunted his heart turned out to be not worth mentioning. In my life, despite many ups and downs, I can always insist on doing what I love, enjoying the fun, excitement and satisfaction, isn't this more valuable than "success" in the eyes of the world?At the end of his life, Stoner was relieved, he let go of the obsessions and regrets in his heart, and understood that his life seemed dark and ordinary, but it was so real and unique. Isn't that the true meaning of life?In that case, what do you expect?Christopher Morley said"There's only one real success, and that's to live your life your way. ”The real winner is never to live as the envy of others, but to have his own life. Even if life is not perfect, you must accept this fact calmly, after all, imperfection is the normal state of life. In ordinary life, only by bravely accepting the gift of fate can we experience the brilliance of life in the process of living oneself. 
Write at the endThe thinker Montaigne said, "The greatest thing in the world is that a man knows how to be his own master." Just like Stoner, in his ordinary life, in the face of hardships and hardships, he has never changed his pursuit of self. Many of us are easily deceived by external things, neglecting our own hearts and blindly pursuing glory in the eyes of others. It wasn't until I looked back on the past that I sadly realized that I had become someone else's shadow. In this chaotic world, only by seeing the heart clearly can we not be disturbed by external objects, see hope in confusion, and achieve a unique life in hope.