More and more people are coming to realize that the phrase "everyone is on the starting line" is actually misleading. Parents are not only the first mentors of students, but also the starting point of their children's lives. Whether and to what extent they will be able to support and guide the next generation is often decisive.
Some people are born with the ability to have everything that others can't get through hard work. It's not unfair, it's different. In fact, the world is inherently disparity, and individuals do not choose what family they are born into.
Most people don't aspire to be born into a "rich or rich" family. However, some parents not only find it difficult to support their children, but they may also destroy the harmony of the family and the future of their children on their own.
Parents who are called "ruined three generations" usually have some common characteristics. For a family to thrive, it takes several generations to work together;And to rise from the ordinary class is not a simple task. However, it is relatively easy to destroy the future of a family.
A teacher summed up the characteristics of "ruined three generations" mothers. In fact, this is not limited to male or female heads, but rather addresses specific behavioural issues, and the root causes are not gender-specific.
Parents who are called "ruining the three generations" often have something in common. One of the most destructive of these is their intense desire for control. In the eyes of such parents, everything needs to be controlled by them, and the student must absolutely obey all their instructions.
Otherwise, they will continue to preach, and even take the form of beating and scolding, and give criticism for "ignorance". On the surface, it seems to be caring, but in fact it is more concerned with personal feelings and authority.
Is it more reliable for parents to arrange everything properly?Such an approach confuses the concepts of "arrangement" and "manipulation". The former is the ability of parents to help their offspring when they need support;The latter, on the other hand, intervenes in disregard of the true feelings of others.
Why is it said that parents who are too controlling may "ruin three generations"?Because in such a high-pressure environment, future generations are destined to lose their vitality and ability to think independently. The child is like a puppet, "abolished", what can the whole family expect?
The second situation is that you can't distinguish between the important and the serious, sacrificing your family in order to cater to outsiders, and giving up your offspring for your own sake. For example, children need some expenses to go to school, but they complain about it, but they take the initiative to pay the bills when they invite relatives and friends to eat and drink outside. became a "wronged boss" in the eyes of outsiders, but required his family to live a frugal life.
There is also a situation where we only focus on our responsibility to honor our parents, but ignore the obligation to raise our offspring. Children need to pay school fees, and parents should be strapped for cash, but spend a lot of energy on organizing the birthday banquet of the elderly. In essence, it is to cater to the image set by oneself without taking into account the needs of future generations.
The third situation is a "wooden man" attitude that takes everything with the situation. In contrast to parents who are overly controlling, these people do not have clear expectations of their partners, children, and parents. Although it seems easy-going, there is actually an irresponsible attitude.
It's common for parents to have shortcomings, but what's even more frustrating is that they "think they're glorious" about it. Many families who are struggling or experiencing constant tragedy tend to exhibit these characteristics;A manipulative parent and a "wooden" parent are fairly common combinations.
In this growing environment, students are almost destined to go through difficult lives. If you can wake up as soon as possible and keep a moderate distance from your original family, there may be a chance for change.
In fact, every family faces troubles, and it is very normal for parents to have shortcomings. Who can be sure that they are flawless?But what is even more frustrating is that those parents who have these problems are usually obsessed with it.
They have difficulty recognizing their own behaviors and beliefs, which can lead to a situation of "ruining three generations". On the contrary, such parents are ashamed of their own set of theories, and instead think that it is something to be proud of.
Controlling parents, for example, believe that it is because they care so much that the family can function properly. If you don't have control over your partner and children, it can lead to "earth-shaking" chaos. And the parents of the "wooden man" usually do not understand that this is not tolerance, but a sign of connivance.
As they get older, it becomes more difficult to change, and for these students, it is necessary to follow the advice of their parents less in order to develop.
Some graduates summarized theories about whether young people should follow their parents, and concluded that if the parents themselves have a certain status in society and have experience in the family in the career or business, then it is better to listen to the parents.
Don't think about "surpassing your parents and fighting hard in the big city", because in this kind of family, the path that your parents have arranged for you is often the wisest choice. As a fresh graduate, it is more appropriate to return to your hometown to join the unit or state-owned enterprise and live a stable life.
If parents themselves are unable to make clear arrangements for you, but frequently interfere in their children's decision-making, then it is best to keep a certain distance. It is often wiser to ask classmates and teachers for advice than to follow the advice of parents.
If such students can have a clear understanding of the laws of society and the wealth code, they will not fall into the current state. Therefore, if they want to develop, they need to be less obedient to their parents. It is necessary to pay special attention to the college entrance examination and strive to go out.
In addition, as a person ages, it becomes more and more difficult for a person to change. The so-called "old stubbornness" is not unfounded, because not everyone has the ability to reflect and move with the times. Students need to accept this fact to avoid unnecessary internal friction and strife.