Some people say that when a woman reaches middle age, she does not have her own family, whether it is in her husband's house or in her in-laws' house, she becomes her mother, and the feeling of closeness in the past seems to have disappeared.
Miss Li is 26 this year, and since she got married, she has been bent on being a good daughter-in-law, and thrift is a principle she has always adhered to.
Mrs. Li wanted to have a good relationship with her mother-in-law, so she called her "Mom" instead of "Mother-in-law".
However, her behavior made her very uncomfortable, and she refused, saying, "You are not my own son, only my daughter, you should call me grandma." Although her mother-in-law had apologized to her and promised to change her name, Mrs. Li still called her "mother-in-law."
Miss Li narrated: My name is Li Lingling, and I have been dating my boyfriend Ah Xin for 4 years.
In July, we said goodbye to love and stepped into the door of marriage, and since then, we are no longer a couple, but a family.
Before I got married, my mother told me a lot of things, and she warned me that when I arrived at Ah Xin's house, I must treat my father-in-law and mother-in-law as my own family.
I have always been filial to my parents, and my relationship with Ah Xin has always been very good.
So before I got married, I made up my mind that I must be a good daughter-in-law of the Xin family.
Although it took a lot of thought, I still feel that my parents-in-law are still like that to me, especially my mother-in-law, as if her feelings for me are not deep enough.
At present, we do not have our own house, so we can only live in a small four-story building built by Ah Xin's family.
Since moving here, I've taken everything on my own, and every week, I've cleaned the three-story house and cleaned everything.
I thought that as long as I could be a good daughter-in-law, I would be satisfied.
However, my parents-in-law still treated me merely, especially my mother-in-law, who always loved to call Ah Xin to go shopping with her sister-in-law, but she didn't take me, which made me very disappointed.
I told my mother about it, and at first she thought I was doing something wrong, but when she heard about what I was doing at Ah Xin's house, she found out that there was nothing wrong with me.
Mom gave her an idea: "Anyway, you're married, don't call me grandma anymore, call me mom, this can also make the relationship between you better." ”
I'm going to try it out. When I came back, I didn't see my in-laws, nor my sister-in-law, but in the hall, and Ah Xin.
Taking advantage of this opportunity, I took out some of the fruits that my mother had brought from my hometown and said to my grandfather, "Dad, I bought these fruits from my hometown, and I brought them to you." ”
My father-in-law was stunned for a moment when he heard me call him Dad, then smiled at me and nodded.
At dinner, when I saw that my grandmother had almost eaten, I quickly said, "Mom, do you want to eat something?""I'll give you another one. ”
But the old woman did not answer directly, but shook her head slightly, indicating that she had enough.
In the days that followed, I tried to call her mom 6 times, but my mother-in-law never gave me a positive answer.
The last time we met, her mother said to me: "It's good to call me grandma, you are not my child, call me mother, Ah Xin Qinqin also calls me mother, I can't tell the difference." ”
I didn't feel good about what I said, and I didn't know what to say, so I nodded and walked quickly upstairs.
Since then, I have known that my relationship with my mother-in-law will never be harmonious, and although she has some truth, it has hit me too hard. Since then, I have made up my mind to call her mother-in-law.
Maybe it was because of my grandmother's teaching to Ah Xin, she said to me: "Lingling, mom apologizes to you, don't take mom's words to heart, I'm really happy, but I don't know how to tell you." ”
I said, "How can it be, grandma, I am not of the same grade as Ah Xin and Qinqin, I am your daughter-in-law." ”
The old woman looked apologetic again: "No, no, since you have entered the door, it is a family, whether it is you or them, I treat you as my own child." ”
I said, "Okay, I see, thank you." ”
Maybe my mother-in-law thought I could forgive her, but at night, Ah Xin said again: "My mother-in-law is just confused for a while, I don't know how to speak, we will all be a family in the future, it is better to call 'Mom', so that others can see it, and it will feel close." ”
But I know that this is just what Ah Xin and Grandpa meant, not what she really meant.
Even though we've been living together for a long time, I still feel like my mother-in-law doesn't really think of me as her own family.
This is probably the norm of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. I think I'll still call Ah Xin's mother "mother-in-law", maybe some people will scold me for being stingy, but I won't be too flattering to anyone.