In the face of depressed and self-deprecating children, many of us parents feel distressed and blame themselves, and want to apologize to their children, but often when the words come to their mouths, they will only say sorry, and they don't know what to say later, or they can't help but pour bitter water and reason as soon as they open their mouths, but the results are often counterproductive, and the children are even more uncomfortable after listening.
In fact, apologizing is skillful and simple, and I will share it with parents today.
First, apologize sincerely
I'm sorry, it's the easiest sentence, but it's also the one that requires the most courage, after all, not all parents can pull their faces, but remember, there is never a shame in apologizing, it's just a sign that we love him.
Second, confront your mistakes
Think back to what things hurt your child before, such as slapping him in the face, saying hurtful words, or not handling family relationships well since he was a child, and not paying attention to him well. In this regard, we parents also need to explain the reason, for example, it is not good emotional control, or work pressure, but remember, do not say "I am all for your good", but find the reason from yourself, not make excuses for yourself in the name of love.
Third, make a commitment
Since the mistake has been found, it is certain that it will be corrected. This step requires us to make a promise to our children, for example: I will accompany you more in the future, I will try to listen to your thoughts more in the future, and if I inadvertently hurt you, you will also communicate with me in time, is it okay?Be careful not to say anything absolute, "never lose your temper again", because change is not a one-step process, we can only promise that it will gradually get better, and invite children to participate in the testimony.
There was once such a popular saying on the Internet, saying: Parents have been waiting for their children to say thank you all their lives, and children have been waiting for their parents to apologize all their lives.
In fact, if the child wants an apology, does he want to scold and blame his parents for it?No, they just want to be loved and understood by their parents all along. So, saying an apology to the depressed hurt child is just their first step.