In the TV series "Kangxi Dynasty", there is a fragment that makes the audience sigh deeply:
Emperor Xiaozhuang ordered Su Malagu to be married to Kangxi and made her a concubine. He was worried that Xiaozhuang would be angry, so he locked the door behind him. On the day of the wedding, Su Ma locked himself in the room and was reluctant to come out. She placed herself on a large pillow and hugged him tightly. Only when Xiaozhuang walked to the door did Su Ma leave the door open. Hyozhuang is extremely angry at what happened inside the door.
Su Ma's hair was cut off a large part and her hair was scattered in a loose manner, and she knelt on the ground, expressing her emotions with a sad expression, and begging Emperor Xiaozhuang to allow her to become a nun.
Xiaozhuang originally thought that making Su Ma the concubine of Emperor Kangxi was a gift to Su Ma, and Su Ma should be very happy and full of gratitude to her. Despite this, Su Ma didn't know how to cherish it, and even did such a thing on the wedding day, which greatly damaged the royal family's face?
Xiaozhuang's greatest fear was to see someone victimized, because her son, Emperor Shunzhi, had once insisted on becoming a monk and handed over a chaotic situation to her to deal with, regardless of the consequences. She is a very laughing woman, but in her opinion, the most terrible thing in the world is laughter. Now, although Su Ma is not a granddaughter, her behavior is even better than that of her granddaughter, which makes Xiaozhuang feel extremely heartbroken and lost.
Su Ma knew that if she didn't act according to the emperor's orders, she might hurt the feelings of Xiaozhuang and Kangxi, so she could only choose death. She would rather choose death than become an imperial concubine, what is the reason behind this?
Is it really impossible to let go of the person you love so much? The reality is far more complicated than we think.
1.Su Ma and her beloved Wu Ciyou.
When Su Ma was young, her parents and younger brother died due to smallpox infection, leaving her alone. In order for her to survive, her father gave her a life - to be a eunuch. She was forced into the palace in reluctance to take on the role of a maid.
One day, her eyes fell on Xiaozhuang, and she couldn't help shouting: "Mother-in-law, mother-in-law!" ”
Hyo-joong had never heard anyone call her so closely, so she decided to let Su Ma stay by her side.
During that period, Shunzhi still ruled, and Xuan Ye was only 8 years old. When Su Ma was a few years older than Xuan Ye, Xiao Zhuang decided to let her take care of Xuan Ye and care for him like his own brother, while also respecting him like a master.
Su Ma remembered it deeply, and when she saw that Xuan Ye was infected with smallpox, she did not hesitate to send herbs, which allowed Xuan Ye to survive and inherit the throne as Emperor Kangxi.
Su Ma and Kangxi grew up together, day and night, but she always acted in strict accordance with Xiaozhuang's will and never dared to cross the line.
When Kangxi was only 16 years old, he wholeheartedly wanted to eliminate Aobai. However, Aobai's power was so large that he felt helpless for the time being. Once, she accidentally learned about the scholar Wu Ciyou on the street, so she chose to hide her true identity and meet Wu Ciyou.
Wu Ciyou's unique insights provided profound inspiration for Kangxi when dealing with the Aobai incident.
Since Su Ma followed Kangxi to meet Wu Ciyou for the first time, she had a good impression of this frustrated scholar. It was early afternoon and the weather was fine. At that time, Kangxi called himself Long'er and talked freely with Wu Ciyou in the teahouse. Su Ma was standing aside serving tea to the guests, Wu Ciyou looked at her, her nervousness made her hands tremble.
Wu Ciyou is handsome in appearance, elegant in temperament, and talented, while Su Ma is dignified and gentle, and pure in heart, they are undoubtedly a perfect match made in heaven. Surprisingly, they fell deeply in love with each other from the first time they met.
Emperor Kangxi noticed this, he has always had a good impression of Su Ma, but at the same time he admired Wu Ciyou's talent very much, especially in the elimination of the Ao Bai incident, Wu Ciyou performed well. Emperor Kangxi took the initiative to say that he was willing to fulfill one of Wu Ciyou's wishes, whether it was material or manpower.
Su Ma felt that this was definitely a precious opportunity, but Wu Ciyou did not ask Kangxi for her, but chose to leave alone.
Why didn't you ask the emperor for me? ”
Su Malagu quickly caught up with the scholar Wu Ciyou and asked with a sad heart.
Wu Ciyou retorted: "Long'er told me that I failed to see the true face of his emperor, and his words were wrong. Although I didn't realize that he was the Emperor, I had already sensed his affection for you. ”
Su Ma was shocked and said: "You are talking nonsense, the Empress Dowager has issued a strict order before, only allowing me to regard the emperor as my master and younger brother, and not allowing me to have any improper thoughts." ”
Wu Ciyou said in a helpless tone: "But he is really reluctant to let you go." Su Ma, if he were just a dragon, I would dare to compete with him for you. But since he is the emperor, I don't dare to fight him anymore. The emperor is also a mortal, he will take revenge on everything, even if he lets us go now, the future will not be peaceful. Su Ma, there are countless things in this world, and we are all helpless people. If Wu Ciyou has another life, we can meet again! ”
When they first met, Wu Ciyou was like moonlight, exuding infinite brilliance. Under his radiant light, Su Ma showed a dazzling charm and amorous side. However, Wu Ciyou left alone, and Su Ma's heart completely collapsed.
I can only say with emotion: there are countless emotional entanglements in this world, and our eyes are always full of unspeakable helplessness.
2.Su Ma risked her life to rebel against the emperor's order and refused to become the imperial concubine.
Xiaozhuang noticed Kangxi's love for Su Ma, so he ordered Su Ma to become Kangxi's concubine. Su Ma was born white and fat, white and big, and very good-looking. When Kangxi heard the news, his heart was full of joy, but Su Ma felt a heavy heart, as if he had lost his life.
Kangxi saw Su Ma like this, and asked unhappily: "Does Wu Ciyou still exist in your heart, and do you still want to spend the rest of your life with him?" ”
Su Ma shook his head with a hint of helplessness, and said: "Su Ma used to have a good impression of Mr. Wu, but when he left, the slave's heart also completely collapsed. Su Ma didn't want to marry anyone in her life, let alone become a concubine. She only hopes to be able to become a palace maid with peace of mind and serve the emperor wholeheartedly. ”
Kangxi was anxious and unsure of what to do next, so he sent Wei Dongting to persuade Su Ma. Wei Dongting was Emperor Kangxi's study partner, and he and Su Ma were both Emperor Kangxi's closest friends.
Su Ma told Wei Dongting frankly: "There is no longer any grudge between me and Mr. Wu. I don't want to be a concubine because I've seen enough of the hardships that concubines go through. These people who are mothers, although they look noble and beautiful on the surface, in the mainland, you are calculating me, and I am calculating you. In order to maintain my status, I was fighting for favor in my dreams, and I was really afraid to live such a day.
I just want to be a palace maid, moreover, the emperor is the emperor of the whole world, not his own man, the concubine is only used to pass on the lineage, if the emperor likes you, he will come to visit you, if he doesn't like it, put it aside, if the holy family declines, even the eunuchs look down on you. I'm a woman, the same age as me. The emperor's treatment of the two of us can be said to be a surprise, but in order to maintain the imperial power, he is willing to do anything. In the process of exterminating the Aobai, isn't it true that even you are closely monitored by him? He still thinks you're his wife! You and he grew up together. He was so good to the two of us, but later, the emperor sent you to the palace to be a eunuch, what is this called! ”
Su Ma is very sober, most people only envy Niangniang's honor and demeanor, only she saw Niangniang's misfortune with her own eyes; Most people are only envious of the splendor of the palace, but she can see the corruption and impurity that lurks within the palace.
She told Wei Dongting: "In my Su Ma clan, my Su Ma is part of the whole family, if the ancestors want me to kill, then let her do it, Su Ma Lagu would rather choose death than accept the arrangement of fate!" ”
She showed unwavering determination and courage to face life and death.
Deep down, Hyozhuang really wanted to end her life, but in the end she relented, so she built a temple called Tianxinan in the palace so that she could practice with her hair.
In fact, this behavior of Xiaozhuang provides her with an opportunity to change her mind, and she can change her mind at any time. Su Ma was so strong and confident in front of her. Despite this, Su Ma still resolutely came to the end.
3.Kangxi couldn't express Su Ma's deep affection in words.
Even though Su Ma wore long hair while practicing, she still served beside Kangxi.
Emperor Kangxi secretly went out to inspect and did not bring a concubine, but chose to bring Su Ma. Only in the company of Su Ma will Xiaozhuang feel at ease, and Kangxi will also feel comfortable.
It wasn't until Kangxi married Concubine Rong, a gentle and elegant woman, that Su Ma really let go of the distractions of the world and devoted himself to cultivation.
Concubine Rong had a deep sense of compassion and gentle care, and Emperor Kangxi was able to have peace of mind in her company and was able to relieve all kinds of troubles and pressures brought by the previous dynasty.
Before becoming Concubine Rong, Su Ma always shouldered this important responsibility, and Su Ma was not only wise, but also provided valuable advice and warnings for Kangxi in many government affairs.
Su Ma witnessed the process of Kangxi ascending the throne at the age of 8, regaining power at the age of 16, outwitting Aobai, and then abolishing the three feudatories.
In this journey, although she is only a palace maid, she is more like a comrade-in-arms of Emperor Kangxi, and the two stand side by side, life and death together. She has grown from an obscure ordinary woman to an outstanding female spy, and her story is legendary. Not only did she see Kangxi's wisdom, strategy, and bravery as emperor, but she also noticed Kangxi's vulnerability, loneliness, and suspicious personality as a person.
In her young days, Kangxi's suspicious personality made her feel very terrifying. Because she knew that she was a woman, she was very close to the emperor, and it could even be said that she was a very lovely woman. However, as the years passed, she gradually became able to understand the loneliness of Emperor Kangxi when he was in a high position.
At that moment, she may no longer feel fear, but deeply feel heartache for Kangxi. Although Kangxi is also a person, in many cases, his emotions are castrated. That kind of unavoidable pain and sacrifice may only be understood by Su Ma, and even Concubine Rong, who can understand him best, may not quite understand it.
In the eyes of Concubine Rong and her daughter Lan Qi'er, Kangxi's ruthlessness and ruthlessness are gradually increasing. In their opinion, the emperor was ruthless. The deep pain experienced by those who are ruthless is neither visible nor comprehendable.
Su Ma knows his emotions deeply, feels heartache for him, and has reverence for him, which is the brightest, firmest, and deepest love after countless baptisms of time.
For this deep affection, Su Ma can't express it in words, only Xiaozhuang can see it clearly.
Before dying, Xiaozhuang asked Su Ma if there was the kind of affection that women had for men about her feelings for Emperor Kangxi. She said, I know he likes her, he loves her very deeply and accurately, and I am a person I like very much. He also warned her that if there was any problem, it was best to tell Kangxi immediately, otherwise the opportunity would be lost.
Su Ma's eyes were full of tears, but she didn't respond. In the last moments of her life, she sent a letter to Kangxi, but unfortunately, the letter was burned at that time.
Those unrevealed affection were finally buried in the shadow of death.
4.Su Ma's whole life is sexless, which is her sober and passive rebellion against fate.
Many people believe that Su Ma's choice not to become the imperial concubine was her wisest and wisest decision. Because, she knows the emperor's love and hate. Even Concubine Rong, whom Kangxi loved deeply, suffered a tragic fate in the end, because the concubines did not get a good ending.
Su Ma's mind is very clear, and she already has an in-depth understanding of the future of the imperial concubine. It was only after the death of the imperial concubine that she learned that she was a person abandoned by the emperor. She holds the view that her choice not to become the imperial concubine is actually a rebellion against her tragic fate.
In my view, however, such a revolt is presented as both sober and passive, with the fundamental purpose of escapism. In this era, only those who dare to resist and dare to break through their own limitations can realize their life value. True rebellion is a form of change!
If you're not even afraid of death, why don't you personally step into this complex situation and disrupt it, if not effectively fight the corruption and conflict of the harem, at least create a huge hole so that the faint sunlight can shine in.
If you really fall in love, then there is no need to silently stay by the side of the Green Lantern Ancient Buddha anymore. Although the complexity of love is sometimes difficult to describe in words, its simplicity requires only a simple eye contact.
If you choose to retreat and can only bear the pain of love alone as a lonely observer, then be brave and strive for the better. Only when you really walk in, can you understand whether there is a sea of swords and fires full of challenges or a harbor full of happiness.
Although you may have failed, you have at least tried and put in the effort, and you really feel the ups and downs.
Isn't it in the life of a person to create some kind of possibility in a situation that seems impossible? Isn't it just to find some kind of satisfaction and happiness in real life? Don't you want to experience the various flavors of this world in depth?
You should never choose to refuse to start and just be a bystander because you want to escape the failure and pain.