Cases
More than two months ago, just after the college entrance examination, students and their parents were both excited and nervous. Because they are about to form a new "team" in their lives - a family preparing for the third year of high school.
The new candidate Xiao Dong has always listened to his parents, and he is also a good student in the eyes of the teacher, his grades in primary school Xi have been good, and his grades have been among the best in the first half of the second year of high school, but with the advancement of time, from the second half of high school, Xiao Dong's results have a downward trend. Xiao Dong's parents have always attached great importance to their children's academic Xi, and are very concerned about his academic Xi and grades Xi. In addition, from elementary school to high school, Xiao Dong Xi was accustomed to his parents accompanying him to Xi school, and the effect was good in the past, but with the advent of the third year of high school, the effect of this Xi learning model began to decline. Xiao Dong felt that his parents "commanded too much", and hoped that he could learn Xi independently and not be interfered with. But Mom said, "It's for your good." During the summer vacation that had just ended, Xiao Dong's family fell into a delicate emotional atmosphere, and the communication between Xiao Dong and his parents was not smooth, and the relationship became sensitive and strained. Everyone is in a hurry, seeing that the curtain of the third year of high school has been opened, how to solve these problems at this juncture?
Analysis
First, the pace is accelerated
After the implementation of the new college entrance examination, it is a new challenge for children and parents, and there are higher requirements for everyone's physical and mental quality. The college entrance examination not only assesses academic Xi performance, but also assesses good adaptability, as well as grasp and cognition of the new era. These need to be promoted by both children and parents in a timely manner. Some parents are still stuck in the era of their college entrance examinations, thinking that applying the successful methods of the past to the current children's Xi will also be successful, but the fact is that if they do not keep pace with the times, they are likely to fail. Parents should update their cognition in a timely manner, and have a more accurate understanding of the requirements of the new college entrance examination, the situation of their children and their own positioning.
2. Overemphasis on results
The college entrance examination is a selective examination. Naturally, test scores are an important factor in the selection. Parents tend to be biased over test results. This mentality becomes a kind of pressure in the usual way. This pressure is placed on the child and manifests itself as an overly concerned focus on grades and grades and ignoring the factors behind success. From the visible "bright line" you can see the grades and scores, from the invisible "dark line" contains more elements, such as: good XiXi academic habits, good family relationships, correct score concept, resistance to frustration in the face of pressure, etc. If parents ignore the cultivation of important qualities in these "dark lines" and focus more on the test scores of the "bright lines", the effect may be twice the result with half the effort.
3. Don't think independently
In the matter of the college entrance examination, some parents are more Xi of using their own ideas to demand their children, do not respect their children's subjective ideas, and sometimes even "high-pressure policies" and force their children to implement them. In this matter, it is reflected that the parents are not independent in personality and interfere excessively in the child's thoughts. There is a "resonance principle" in psychology, that is, when a person's mental frequency is tangled or anxious, this frequency will cause another person to have the same psychological feelings. If parents don't deal with anxiety and worry, they will release this psychological feeling. The candidate's own psychological pressure is already very great, and when receiving "negative energy" from his parents, it will add more additional psychological pressure and mental burden.
Recruitment
1. Analyze and reflect diligently
Parents in the third year of high school in the new era should be parents who are diligent in analysis and reflection. Parents' own thoughts and psychological feelings, do not rush to express or direct their children's actions, but first reflect on themselves, analyze their own state, sort out their own thoughts and states, and calm themselves down. Whether the child's grades are good or bad, first objectively analyze the actual situation and what is the reason for the "dark line" behind the results. In addition, regarding children's learning Xi planning and requirements, do not ask children to do it in a "one-word hall", but first think clearly about the ways that children can understand and accept, and then communicate with children calmly and equally.
Second, pay attention to the process
Children are already very nervous and anxious about test scores, and it is not appropriate to pay too much attention and reinforcement, and focus on the cultivation of other "dark lines". There is a law of pedagogy: "A good student is boastful". We encourage and praise our children for doing the right things, which helps to develop this good Xi. In terms of family relationships, do not entangle each other and ask too much of each other, but be independent of each other and have a certain distance. Parents should be themselves and set an example with a sunny attitude and a positive and optimistic spirit, so that their children can see a positive role model, which will help build a better parent-child relationship.
3. Self-strategic planning
Parents are adults and should systematically analyze various factors and details. Analyze your own problems, children's strengths, vulnerabilities and weaknesses systematically, and carry out systematic "self-strategic planning". This plan is not something that can be completed in a day, it can be improved and supplemented at any time. The focus of this plan should include what adjustments you need to make, what "logistics work" you need to do well, and what self-physical and mental management you need to do. As for the child's "strategic planning", it can be equal to the child**, encouraging them to think deeply and take responsibility for their own actions.
Article**: Sunshine College Entrance Examination Information Platform of the Ministry of Education.