Have you ever thought about this question, "After a person dies, she will be remembered by the people around her, but after the people around her pass away one after another, who will remember who died in the first place?"”
If there are no words, all people and things will become a thing of the past with time, and no one will remember that person and that thing for thousands, tens of thousands of years.
A historian can write a book, such as a historical record, but who will remember you as an ordinary person?
So, I wanted to write an article about remembering my mother.
I've had this plan for a long time, and I don't know where I started to write, I'm not sure if I can look at my mother's way of doing things fairly, I'm not sure if I can write about the people and things that happened around her in detail and concretely, and I'm not sure if my existence will bring disaster or blessing to my mother
I am the third in the family, the above 2 sisters, cousins have 5, the only boy born in the whole big family, the Du family finally has a boy, my mother has always regarded me as the baby of the family, and I am proud of it, I have been the pride of the family since I was born, for this reason, my mother also went to the Buddhist family to repay. I vaguely remember what my mother took away to make incense and make a vow.
My mother had a good quality of being hard-working, and she often got up in the morning to cook for us, and sometimes it was very cold and she got up early.
In her later years, her mother liked to lie in bed, and later it became her Xi, she liked to play mahjong and met many card friends.
My mother died in 2017, which year of spring, I remember very clearly, my mother was lying in bed, I walked out of the house, saw the flowers and green plants in the yard, and the colorful world, and said Mother, you can get up and see, how lush the flowers are outside, the sun shines on the earth, how beautiful the spring is. She couldn't move in bed, I don't know how painful she was at that time, I really wanted to tell her at the time, your illness is hard, and I'm afraid that she will worry too much.
I had a lot of things I wanted to tell my mother, but I couldn't tell them, so I watched her leave the world with a lot of unfulfilled wishes.
I remembered that when I went to Grandma Hidden Leopard's house with her before, I took pictures of her, she was very healthy, I remembered that I went to Nanhu Park with him, I supported her, I wanted to say that you have to protect your body, don't get sick, I was walking on the South China Bridge at that time, because I was not married, my mother wanted me to get married as soon as possible, she broke her heart, but I didn't let her get her wish.
I remember my mother, because she had a lot of desires and expectations for life in her life, she was not able to do so, I remember my mother, because she was taken away to burn incense in front of the Buddha since she was a child, cherishing that I was born in the world, she is very pious, I remember my mother, because I received special love and expectations for her to me during my lifetime, in the field, my mother and I ploughed the land together, everyone rested in the field, my mother brought a pot of water, when we were tired, we drank a little, we were in the field, there was a large harvest of corn, we needed to receive it home, she worked hard to work, in the west of our village, there was a land that I had ploughed with my mother, and the sweat left by her when she knotted cotton, I once rode a motorcycle, he fell, my mother didn't blame me, and asked me if it was serious, my mother was old, I bought her a cotton jacket, she put it on, her heart was very happy, her mother had a lot of unfulfilled wishes, her wishes were buried into the grave with death, life tells people how to act, how to transform the colorful world, but I haven't had time to do these things, she left, I have a lot of ideals, such as hoping to see my mother laugh one day, because his son is married, one day she can proudly say that the child is great。
Mother also has shortcomings, such as she believes in Buddhism, pins everything on the Buddha, she does not pursue the essence of things, always pursues the ethereal existence, she always relies on experience to judge the logic of things, for things she does not understand, she doubts and denies, she is always unwilling to see the truth of things and pursue the truth, but takes face as the standard to measure value, she looks down on people who read, and thinks that people who read books are pedantic and "unsocial" , I miss my mother today, I want to leave her memory, leave her shadow, and leave her a part in my heart.
Simple words, can't completely summarize my mother, but I hope I can restore a deep mother-son relationship.
Happiness be to heaven!