Mr. Yang Jiang said: "I don't care if my mother-in-law treats me well or not. She is good to me, and I provide for her in old age, which is called courtesy;She treats me badly, I ignore her, this is called karma. ”
The divorce rate is increasing year by year and the marriage rate is decreasing year by year, which has attracted great attention!My friend is a lawyer, and in the recent divorce cases, more than 60% of couples mentioned their mother-in-law when talking about the reason for divorceI heard all kinds of stories about strange mothers-in-law. Similar to with in-laws, life Xi is different, resulting in friction;The man is a mother-in-law and listens too much to his mother-in-lawThe mother-in-law is too strong and treats her husband and daughter-in-law differently from each other;There are even some mothers-in-law, you reason with her, she scolds, once you scold, she goes to her son to cry, a proper palace fight!
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been a big problem since ancient times, why is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law so difficult to get along?Is there no intelligent way to deal with it except confrontation?
Yang Jiang is an outstanding writer who is known for her extraordinary wisdom and profound thoughts. In her work "Walking to the Edge of Life", she proposed that no matter how good or bad a mother-in-law is to her daughter-in-law, she should face it with an indifferent attitude.
The indifferent attitude of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
In her works, Yang Jiang expresses an indifferent attitude. She believes that her mother-in-law should not care too much about her daughter-in-law's good or bad. This indifferent attitude is not indifference, but a rational and peaceful way to look at the complex parent-child relationship. This attitude helps the daughter-in-law to maintain inner peace when facing her mother-in-law and not to be influenced by her emotions in her decision-making and behavior.
Most of the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are actually because of the difference in the three views, you grew up in different eras, have different living environments, and cultural backgrounds, so it is destined that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are unable to empathize!
You think that your husband is your god, and if you marry this person, he should devote himself to the good of your small family;But my mother-in-law thinks that your husband was raised by him, and filial piety comes first, and it is right to listen to her, and your position is not wrong!
You think that having children and taking care of children should be a matter for both husband and wife, and the husband should contribute and share a part of your life;But the mother-in-law thinks that giving birth to a child and taking a child is what a woman should do, and in her era, there was no one to help her with several babies, so why can't a baby be brought well?
Do you think that there should be democracy, and the capable people in the family should do more things, and make more suggestions, everyone should do their own work and do their part;But my mother-in-law thinks you're stealing the hostess's position with her!
If your mother-in-law is like this, then you just need to imagine her as an ordinary person you meet in the vast sea of people, and this person is sincerely good to your favorite husband, her words and deeds will not affect your beauty, nor prevent you from having a good life, then you don't need to continue to fight with her, face it calmly!
The philosophy of courtesy
Yang Jiang's view contains the philosophy of "courtesy and exchange". She stressed that in family relationships, there should be mutual respect for loved ones. This means that regardless of the mother-in-law's attitude towards her daughter-in-law, the daughter-in-law can choose to return the same care and respect. This courteous attitude is conducive to the establishment of harmonious family relationships.
Because we all love a man together, we connect my mother-in-law and daughter-in-law!"Filial piety comes first" The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not handled well, and it is also embarrassing for the man in the middle!After setting this tone in your heart, you will be sober and rational when you deal with the relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law!People do things according to their own principles, but they "smear honey" on their lips. Isn't there a good saying: life is an unfair game, and the sweeter you are, the more candy you get. Decide your own affairs, and never back down when you encounter things that cannot be conceded in principle when you have different opinions. If you encounter something inconsequential, you will laugh it off, and your mother-in-law will be happy if she takes advantage of it, but for you, it will be a smooth ride. Yang Jiang's indifferent philosophy reminds us that we should actively respond to care and respect, and respect her as much as possible
The idea of karma
When dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, Yang Jiang's views also include the concept of "karma". If the mother-in-law treats her badly to her and the daughter-in-law chooses to ignore her, this philosophy also means that if a person treats others badly, he may end up suffering the consequences to some extent. It is also a reminder to deal with family relationships in a positive way, because good is rewarded with good and evil is rewarded with evil.
As a mother-in-law, it is very important to recognize the facts, either pay or contribute or shut up, don't don't give money or effort, and your mouth is broken, treating your daughter-in-law well is treating your son well, which is equivalent to treating yourself well.
As a daughter-in-law, she puts filial piety first, treats her mother-in-law as her own relatives, is neither humble nor arrogant, and manages herself well.
As a son, he can't be blindly foolish or pillow-wind, he should have his own judgment, help or not, and find a way to resolve the conflict between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so the husband should make the balance tend to be balanced, not unbalanced.
All in all: communication and understanding between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a process of mutual learning and Xi mutual growth, only mutual understanding and support can make the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more harmonious and make the family happier!
Cherish the fate you meet, build a beautiful mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship with love and tolerance, stop internal friction, and live a life that is not tired!