One of the questions I've heard the most in my long time in counseling is, "Has he let go, and I'm completely out of play?"What else to salvage?Salvage feelings
It's a little knowing, and it's a little bit like trying to deceive yourself by bypassing the facts. You must know that from the moment the ex decides to break up, it means that he chooses to let goWhat you are worried about is what has happened.
I can understand that, tooAfter all, the ex has not been completely let go, you can use the only remaining relationship to do something related to the other party, at least before it is completely severed, there is still some hope for this relationship.
Let's just say, there is nothing wrong with the idea, but the pattern is small Your ultimate goal is to reconcile with your ex, so now you are not broken, can you still chat, and have you broken the thread. These are just the problems that will be experienced before reconciliationIf you want to decide whether to redeem it or not because of these reasons, it is better to force yourself to let go immediately.
He broke up, he didn't choose you firmly, so what did he do to save him?You want to see that he still loves you, so you decide whether to love him or not, then your love is not deep.
Besides, if someone still loves you, do you need to make it back, why don't you think about why he doesn't love him?
I'll tell you,Whether your ex has let go or not, whether he loves it or not, has nothing to do with your reconciliationIt's like you didn't love him when you first met, but that doesn't stop you from falling in love with him later.
The point of redemption is that you still love him;Did he ever really love you?
Do you need a reason to love someone?Yes!And the ex who can be redeemed by you also needs a reason, and this reason is effectiveThe premise is that he has truly loved you.
He's in love with you, and you've given the reason;He doesn't love you, and he gives a reason;If you want to get him back, you have to give him a reason to get back together.
No matter what you say or do, your ex doesn't approve of you because you don't meet his emotional needs at the momentConform to people's hearts, how can you convince him to reconcile?
Teach you a trickYou replace what you think is right with what you think is wrong and what is not feasible, and your thinking is different.
For example, if you entangle him so that he can't forget you, I don't agree to such a humble begging, then let you go, then you are happy;You're afraid that as soon as you let go, he'll go away, so you change it to, just go, anyway, those who should turn back will still turn back.
Only if all the actions you do are the right actions can it be possible to lead to the desired results. Doing the wrong thing and wanting the right resultWhat do you want?
In fact, it is not difficult to reconcileThe difficulty is to get along。The other party can give you a verbal promise, but when you get along again, they use you as a spare tire, can you accept it?
A large part of the reason why you have come to this point of breaking up is that there is a problem with your relationship pattern, and if you want to repair the relationship, it means that the relationship mode will have to go through adjustmentsSo what kind of relationship model you want to build should be laid out from the moment you decide to redeem it.
Some people do rely on humble begging to get back together, but it is difficult to reverse the low-level framework in the follow-up, and they suffer from gains and losses all day long, how can a relationship of self-internal friction last?
So, you might as well think differentlyYou are not redeeming your ex, but redeeming yourself, it doesn't matter if your ex lets go or not, what matters is whether you learn to manage a relationship well in the process of redeeming.