In the new chapter of 2023, Yang Xiaomi reveals the behind-the-scenes of marriage.
Record my 2023 ??
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Yang Xiaomi. 
Edit Kota. * Meet Mi (idyujianxiaomi 2015).
At the beginning of the new year, my friend lawyer Yang Ying (WeChat*** I am Yang Ying) went back to his hometown for the New Year and enjoyed the hometown style for half a month. This time back to her hometown, she experienced a unique adventure, enough to write five articles!In previous years, she traveled far away during the Spring Festival, but this time she stayed behind because her grandmother was unwell, ushering in a unique adventure. Today, I will share with you her bizarre experience of being urged to marry.
Ms. Yang Ying's family structure is quite large, with two uncles and two aunts. It was not her relatives who urged her to marry, but an old man, who actually thought that Yang Ying's uncles did not care about her, so she remained unmarried. In the face of the old man's criticism, the uncle had no choice but to explain, but the old man did not relent, and even introduced two objects to Yang Ying, one is a bricklayer and the other is an electrician, and the technical work is very popular in the local area. This arrangement left Yang Ying speechless, because she already owns real estate, a car, and a considerable amount of savings in Xi'an, and her work income is good.
What is even more ridiculous is that this old man is not only amazingly acting, but also stubborn. He actually found Yang Ying's grandmother and planned to introduce two objects to her, a bricklayer and an electrician. These two skilled workers have bought a house in the county, and the conditions seem to be good, but they have nothing to do with Yang Ying's life trajectory. Lawyer Yang Ying prides herself on her independence, and this kind of marriage arrangement seems to her to be a joke. In the face of the old man's insistence, fortunately, his uncle intervened in time and successfully persuaded the old matchmaker to quit. All this makes one think that perhaps the old man's actions were not sincere, but more like a hypocritical concern.
Yang Ying mentioned a point that made me deeply feel the boundaries of cognition. The objects arranged by this old man are all people within his cognition without exception. For an excellent woman like Yang Ying, these arrangements are simply an insult to her. It also makes me wonder if there are such narrow-minded people around us, who always try to impose their own ideas on others and do not allow others to choose a different way of life. This kind of person may be the real version of the "daddy smell" person, we should stay away from it, and not let their wrong ideas affect their choices.
In the in-depth discussion with Yang Ying, we found that this old man is not an exception, and there are actually many people like him. They have a narrow belief that not only should they live a certain way, but others should too. When they see someone choosing something different, they feel uncomfortable and even intervene. Such people make life stressful, as if their every move is being judged by others.
It also reminds me of what happened to a friend. Due to physical reasons, she was unable to have children, but her family repeatedly emphasized that a woman must have children, otherwise the marriage would not be strong. Her family even offered her to take her for support, which made her feel helpless. This notion reminds me of the old man, who both tried to impose their way of life on others, turning a blind eye to different choices.
Over the past year, I have come to understand more and more that the number one principle of helping others is not to help others. We should worry more about ourselves and less about other people's affairs. As Yang Ying said, if she hadn't taken the initiative to ask for help, this old man would have no right to interfere in her marriage at all. In the face of other people's expectations, we should stick to our own principles and not change our lives due to external pressures.
No matter what others say, we have the greatest responsibility for our own lives. If you succumb to the expectations of others and end up doing badly, the responsibility is still on you. There are many people in life who will try to influence our choices, but we must learn to think independently and hold on to our beliefs. Marriage, childbearing, and other choices are one.