In family ethics, there used to be an adage "the eldest brother is like a father, and the eldest sister is like a mother", which means that the elder brother and sister should take on the family responsibilities and take care of the younger siblings and act as their parents. However, there are certain prerequisites for this statement: parents have died or are unable to raise young children, and younger siblings are still minors and need the help of older siblings. However, some parents abuse this phrase and shift the blame to the eldest son and eldest daughter, turning it into a cash cow. This article will delve into this topic and try to answer whether one should act unconditionally according to this maxim.
As children, they should indeed honor their parents, and even fulfill their obligations to support their in-laws. However, when parents are still capable of raising their children, or when younger siblings are old enough to be independent, the phrase "eldest brother is like father" and "elder sister is like mother" no longer applies. Parents do not have the right to transfer the responsibility they should have borne to their eldest son. If parents insist that the eldest son and eldest daughter be held responsible, it is a moral kidnapping that unfairly deprives the eldest son and eldest daughter of the right to pursue their own happiness.
As an adult, everyone has a responsibility to safeguard their own well-being and interests. After marriage, the husband and wife should be in a relationship of mutual support and joint management. If the eldest son and eldest daughter unconditionally assume the responsibility of raising siblings, this will place an unequal burden on the family and will not be conducive to family harmony. Finances and responsibilities between husband and wife should be divided equitably and one party should not be placed in an unfair position.
Refusal is a necessary ability to protect our rights and dignity. If the eldest son and eldest daughter do not know how to refuse, they will make their parents and siblings inch in and endlessly ask for themselves. Only by knowing how to refuse can we protect our rights and interests and keep our happiness.
MarriageIt is a relationship of mutual support and living together, and the family of origin is where we grew up and has an important influence. However, inMarriage, the blood relationship with the spouse should take precedence over the relationship with the family of origin. Husbands and wives should support each other and run together, rather than passing on the responsibilities of the family of origin to the eldest son and eldest daughter.
In general, it is not in all cases that one should act unconditionally in accordance with the principle of "elder brother as father and elder sister as mother". Older siblings have their own lives and well-being, and family responsibilities should be shared between parents and siblings. However, if the parents really need help and the older sibling is able and willing to help, then they can provide appropriate support. CriticalIt is to safeguard one's own interests and happiness on the basis of equality, fairness, and mutual support.