Wen Lan's mother talks about parenting
As the end of the year approaches, it seems that the phrase "if you have money or not, go home for the New Year" is ringing in your ears again.
I have always believed that going home for the New Year at the end of the year is the ultimate goal of everyone who works hard outside.
But the first wave of homecoming made me understand that the atmosphere of the New Year also depends on the quality of the original family.
As soon as I arrived at the unit in the morning, I received my cousin's ** after returning home to leisurely eat melon seeds, roast the fire and play cards with friends.
At that time, not to mention how envious I was, for the sake of my colleagues in the sour unit, I also deliberately showed off my ** to everyone.
Unexpectedly, there was an intern named Yueyue, who was new, and she didn't even raise her head.
At first, I thought we didn't know each other, so we didn't have much in common.
Until the lunch break, I overheard Yueyue and her mother's phone call: "I don't want to go home, it's better to stay in the unit and work overtime".
At that time, I also joked: "I'm really a little money fan, I don't want to go home to accompany my mother for overtime pay."
Unexpectedly, Yueyue's eyes became more and more cold, and she replied sarcastically: "As soon as the Chinese New Year arrives, there will be endless quarrels, what is there to go back".
It turned out that Yueyue's family relationship was not harmonious, especially the relationship between her parents was simply no better than three days of meeting.
Take every Chinese New Year as an example, it is obvious that they themselves have to invite guests to dinner and visit relatives and friends, but there are many relatives, and the father always has to quarrel with the mother until late at night.
One said: "So-and-so looks down on people."
Another said, "You have to go yourself."
The two of them quarreled fiercely again, either smashing the basin and the bowl to get angry, or scolding everyone in the family.
Obviously, Yueyue grew up in a scolded environment.
This also made me understand: the harmony of a family of origin is really too important for the atmosphere of the New Year.
Parents look forward to returning home
The children also hope to be united when they return home
Recently, I was very touched to see the advice of a person who came over:
If you have the ability, it is really not recommended that you usually give too much money to your parents, this is not unfilial piety, because you usually give too much money, they will feel that your money is too easy, do not cherish it, do not say, and when your parents are really old and need a lot of money, you can't take it out, and then you will be pointed out by thousands of people".The person who said this was a distant relative of mine, who was doing business outside the home, and had the eldest brother, second sister, and fourth brother at home.
This relative is a more emotional person, and every time he goes home, he will generously give his parents a lot of living expenses, and he will take the money as soon as he learns that the old man is sick.
But for a serious illness, my father needed more than 100,000 yuan for surgery, and when it came to the issue of equal sharing of several brothers, everyone found excuses to escape.
After taking the old father home, everyone muttered in front of the old man: "The third child is doing business outside, and he doesn't know how to take out so much money, so he really doesn't know what he is thinking."
As for the parents, they also complained together, always feeling that "the third child has changed a person when he earns money".
In fact, the third child is not picky, nor is he unfilial, he is more cold.
and the old accounts owed by the eldest brother, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he was criticized for "what you want, if you have it, I will give it to you".
Helping the second sister's son to make a guaranteed loan is against the ** road, and the third child also uses his own money to settle the trouble
As for the fourth brother, although there is no loan dispute, the relationship between the two brothers has not been very good
Under such an unharmonious and intricate relationship, the third child was really tired of it.
can look at the elderly parents, no matter how tired they are, they have to rush home to accompany the old man for the New Year.
He said: "At such an age, after a year will be one year less".
After hearing this, I had a lot of thoughts.
Parents look forward to their children's return home every year, and what their children hope for when they return home is also the harmony of the family.
Relationships are maintained
People who are in contact with each other are the most diligent when they go home
What is the purpose of your rush home every year?Is it faith, longing, or excitement?
From the bottom of one's heart, the enthusiasm to go home depends on the frequency of contact with home.
Cousin Lulu and cousin Taozi are two typical examples.
The environment in which my cousin grew up was valued and allowed.
When I was in junior high school, my cousin wanted to straighten her hair and got the support of her parents.
On her cousin's birthday, she and her aunt went to the barbershop on a motorcycle.
When I came back, my cousin's hair was smooth and silky, and she looked so messy in the wind.
Later, my cousin failed in the high school entrance examination and was not admitted to high school, and the uncle did not blame, but supported her to learn her favorite beauty salon.
After learning a little bit about beauty salons, my cousin chose to back down because she couldn't stand the smell of the barbershop.
I finally invested in the technology I learned, and I discarded it casually because of a sentence of "I can't stand it", and in this case, my cousin was still not criticized.
It can be said that my cousin's childhood was raised with support, and her life was optimistic and positive because of the support of her parents.
Even after starting a family, my cousin still has frequent contact with her parents.
She told me that her parents were like life coaches, who could find comfort in whatever happened to them.
This is the warm family that has achieved the deep feelings later.
is different from my cousin, who lives in a typical "Jackie Chan" family.
In order to let my cousin be admitted to a good university, my aunt said the most every day: "Have you mastered the knowledge you learned today?"
If the first thing after school is not to take out your schoolbag and do your homework, it will also be greeted by your aunt's endless criticism:
"I don't know what I'm like, I don't know how to study hard."Under his aunt's strict requirements, although his cousin was later admitted to university as he wished, he seemed to have a disease, which was a disease that "made him irritable when he heard his mother's voice".This exam score is not as good as last time, I really don't know what you are doing every day."
I don't even know what to say about you, if you don't study hard now, you will wait to endure hardships in the future."
It turns out that my aunt is a character that is taller than a mountain, even if her cousin is already very good, she still hopes to be better than so-and-so.
Under the endless comparison and suppression, the cousin no longer wants to have too much intersection with his aunt, and their mother and son have nothing to say except for the necessary contact throughout the year.
In this case, the already not very intimate relationship becomes more and more indifferent.
It can be seen that a good relationship needs to be maintained, and people who can usually contact frequently go home the most often.
The understanding of the family
It's the temperature that determines where you stay
Whether a family is warm and loving can actually be felt from whether the children are willing to go home after the holidays.
Xinxin, the son of his aunt who went to college, decided not to go home during the winter vacation, and planned to go to the hotel to study and work.
The aunt disagreed, and the two had a violent quarrel.
Between the quarrels, Xinxin let out a long-buried roar in his heart:
"You know nagging and criticizing every day, no matter what kind of occasion you are with, what kind of person you are with, you never consider my feelings when you speak, I just want to be pure now".After hearing this, my aunt did not regress because of this.
She began to say, "No matter how old you are, you will always be your mother's child, and I am doing this for you."
However, the parent-child relationship that has broken down is not so easy to repair.
In order to prevent her son from taking a vacation to study and work, the aunt even used "living expenses" as a threat.
The sentence "You have grown up now and your wings are hard, you have to fly, don't come to me for living expenses if you have the ability", which directly broke the parent-child relationship
The next morning, my aunt was blocked.
Obviously, such an anxious parent-child relationship must have more internal friction during the Spring Festival.
And through this incident, I gradually understood: the understanding of the family is to determine the temperature at which you can stay
If we live in an environment full of threats, dominance, and oppression, it will only suppress our children, preventing them from growing up freely and perhaps not being able to develop their true self-worth.
Therefore, love needs to be let go, fulfilled, and understood.
When we feel anxious about our child's reluctance to go home and frustrated by our child's resistance, we might as well get along with our child with a different attitude of understanding.
For example, if a child wants to work and study, we support it and say, "It's different to have a son at home, you want to earn money before you graduate, it's really amazing, I'm proud of you."
Or, the child can't go home after working overtime in the unit, we also have to understand: "Now you are really grown up, know what to do and do your duty, I am really happy for you now, Mom and Dad will always be the strong backing behind you, remember: if you are tired, go home to rest, with your parents, ** are your home".
With such warm understanding and support, no matter how cold-hearted a child is, he will be slowly touched by the power of love.
New Year's rituals
Prepare for the children as well
Some time ago, I brushed such a ** and was moved.
One wife heard that her husband was about to drive home, so she immediately went to the door to clear the snow.
The road swept out with welcome, anticipation, and attention is probably the reason why you have to go home after trekking through mountains and rivers.
In the positive energy short ** with the theme of "Returning Home for the New Year", the hero drives his wife and daughter home, and encounters a blizzard traffic jam on the way.
During the traffic jam, his daughter still had some fever, and the man decided to detour back from the side road in order to get home as soon as possible.
Before he was halfway there, his mother asked "Where are you?" and as soon as the man replied two sentences, the signal was interrupted and the car stopped in the snow.
Because the snow is too deep, the tires are stuck in and can't get out, and they want to call home for help, but there is no signal to contact at all.
In blow after blow, the wife in the back row began to complain about her husband.
After several arguments and emotional breakdowns, as the sky darkens, a glimmer of light suddenly comes in front of the car.
It turned out that the parents knew that their way home was not easy to walk, and after suddenly hanging up ** could not be contacted, the old man immediately took a hoe and began to shovel the snow on the road.
They hunched over along the way, shoveling snow for three miles with the help of the faint light of a flashlight.
Fortunately, along the way, it was not only the family of three who were stuck in the snow, but also the old people who had been looking forward to their son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter coming home in front of the old house.
With a voice: "Dad", "Mom", "Son", everyone couldn't help but burst into tears
What is it?This is the deep love that old parents can give their children, and it is also a sense of ritual
was also going home for the Chinese New Year, and a friend couldn't wait to take his wife and daughter overnight after work.
After a journey of more than 1,300 kilometers, they were forced to get off the highway and wait when they encountered heavy fog blocking the road in the middle of the night.
It wasn't until eight o'clock the next morning that I got on the highway to continue the journey, and my parents never greeted me along the way.
When the family of three finally rushed home, knocked on the door for a long time and didn't open the door, they still took out the key from their backpack for a while before opening the door.
As a result, as soon as you enter the door, you hear that your parents have been arguing about trivial matters, and no one asks you "whether you are hungry" or "whether you are tired".
Since then, my friend and his wife have stayed away for several years, and they have lost the enthusiasm and joy they had at home.
Therefore, the meaning of going home is: love that goes both ways
You are trying to catch up on your way home, and your parents are warmly preparing to greet you at home
Even if it's a concerned ** on the road, even if it's the anticipation of sitting at home and waiting in advance...
These are the determinations and meanings of your journey home
So, what are the different suggestions and opinions on the fact that the atmosphere of the New Year depends on the quality of the original family?Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to share!