I once watched a variety show where a girl cried and complained about her mother, who said that her mother always compared herself with other classmates. In the eyes of a mother, a daughterThere are only drawbacks, and never saw the baby's efforts. The old mother replied very indifferently, I have to keep hitting you, otherwise your character will definitely float.
The child cried and said that his personality was not suitableTake a hit。The old mother insisted that when you are strong, I think you should shoot it, and when you are weak, I will push you. The daughter found that no matter what she said, she could not convince her old mother, and finallyCryingWalked off the stage.
Many people commented that they saw themselves in this little girl, in fact, many children have been beaten by their parents since they were young.
Renowned psychologist Marshall. LuxembourgSay, we may not feel that the way we speak is violent, but language does often provoke ourselves and othersPain
Parents ignore the way they talk to their children in daily life, often hit the baby without scruples, and even abuse them. Verbal violenceAlthough it is not possible to make a person's body hurt, but forPsychic AttackThe damage index is very large.
1. Parents always use verbal violence, which will make the child's character cowardly and inferior.
Verbal violenceThe damage to the child is very serious, and some may make the baby live in the shadows for the rest of his life.
When I was a child, my neighbor's aunt had a very short temper and often wouldSpanking and scolding children。One time we had a lot of fun playing football outside, and we ran home with great interest to share the joy of playing with our friends with our parents. The neighbor's aunt scolded her daughter: "Did you run back from the garbage heap?"It's so dirty, it's covered in dirt!”
After the child listened to her mother's words, the girl bowed her head in shame. I felt very embarrassed in my aunt's scolding, and her daughter didn't even go to college later, directlyGo out and workFinish.
all these yearsRarely go home, her personality is somewhat introverted, she rarely contacts others, and is said to live an average life. You see, the denial and blows of parents will give the baby a negative psychology, even if it grows up, the child will liveThe shadow of childhoodAmong them, the older you get, the greater the impact.
Every parent loves their child, but the love of parents is in the talkChangedFlavor.
How do youSo stupid？Can't do a little thing at all?”
Why can't you do what others can do?”
Don't cry anymore, just cry againDon't want youFinish. ”
I believe that many parents have used such words to scold their children.
Some parents know that they will talk like thisHurt the babychildren, but always think that don't be too good to children, always say good things, children will not have the ability to resist pressure.
There is such a news, which makes people feel incredible. A 26-year-old boy has been getting pneumonia repeatedly for so many years, but he can't find out the cause. Later, when he went to the hospital for an examination, the doctor found a foreign body in his lungs, which turned out to be secretly when he was 6 years oldSwallowoneToy whistle。The 6-year-old child was still an ignorant and naughty baby, and he didn't dare to tell his parents because he was afraid.
This concealment is 20 years, and his body has beenUncomfortable, and don't dare to tell parents. It took less than 20 minutes for doctors to remove the whistle that had been buried in his body for 20 years, and the boy said he felt relieved.
Many people are like this since childhoodI was reprimanded and scared, I don't dare to communicate with my parents frankly when I have something, so I will leave such a problem.
2. In the language of parents, the future of children is hidden.
Parents may feel a few casual words, but let the baby feel that it is a true evaluation of themselves, and the child's mentality is positive or negative, all in the parents' mindIn a thought
Parents are the closest people to their children, they are young and ignorant, they think that what their parents say is the truth, and their parents' daily behavior, words and deeds will cause their childrenGreat impact
3. Parents should talk well to their children.
For example, if the teacher tells the family that the homework is not completed on time, the parents should not directly reprimand the child, but ask the child in detail if he did not complete the homeworkCauses
Is it because the homework is difficult, or do you not like the teacher?After finding the cause of the problem, you can analyze it with your child and carry out positive guidance education.
A good wordThree winters are warm, bad words hurtJune cold
Parents want their children to do something, you can put forward specific requirements, if the baby's concept of time is not strong, always grinding, the mother can say, about to be late, 5 minutes we will go out. This will allow the child to haveThe concept of timeand quickly make good use of the 5 minutes of your time.
But some parents will say, I don't know how to say this to my child, I can't use this sentence all the time, right?Then let me tell you, you can watch "Nonviolent Communication with Children" like me.
How to say and do things when you encounter something is very clear above. For example, if the teacher tells the parents that the child answers the question in a low voice, what do the parents say?"Can't you just be louder?”This is the wrong response, so to speak"The teacher said that you were very active in answering questions in class, and she especially liked to hear your loud voice. ”In this way, the child will enjoy attending and learning more and more.
I also encountered this incident, the way to deal with it was wrong, when the child was very angry, just turned this page, I quickly went to apologize to the child, and said, in fact, the teacher said that you answered the question positively, and would prefer to hear your loud voice!Since then, the child has enjoyed learning and sharing with me every day what he is doing at school.
You see, the correct language encouragement of parents will make children feel that they are seen, willing to cooperate and obey, and more willing to communicate with their parents.
In addition to these, there are also parenting misunderstandings, which meet childrenAnnoyed, curious, shy, rebellious, cheatingWhat should parents do?There are keywords, and there are specific methods, communicate with your children in this way, and believe that your children will like to listen to you more and more.
Conclusion:
No one likes to be beenDidactic controlThe child is also an independent individual, and parents should not always dictate to the child with a condescending attitude. Children are disobedient and rebellious, but they are actually conveying the attitude of not liking their parents to talk and do things. Parents can put down the shelf and squat down with the childCommunicationGentle words can irrigate the child to thrive.
(This article *** network, if there is any infringement, please contact to delete).
List of high-quality authors