When my parents died when I was 53 years old, I stopped talking to my brother, and then they came to my door
I am 53 years old and receive a pension of 5,000 yuan a month. My wife, who is a year older than me, is a math teacher at a high school in the city. His son works in the provincial town next door, and during the Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day holidays, he and his daughter-in-law traveled with their two children and his in-laws.
Feeling troublesome, my wife and I decided not to go too far and stay at home to arrange our own activities.
On the day of the National Day, we followed ** to the zoo and enjoyed pandas, giraffes, elephants, tigers, monkeys and other animals.
Due to the large number of people, the scene was a bit chaotic, and my wife and I walked around for more than an hour before leaving in a hurry.
After that, we took the subway to a Cantonese restaurant in the city center to eat, as if back to our youth, ordered two glasses of kumquat lemonade, and went shopping in the mall while savoring the food.
There were a lot of events in the mall, clothes and shoes were on sale, and we each bought two new sets of clothes and a pair of shoes and went home satisfied.
Despite feeling a little tired, overall we had a great time.
However, when I returned to my doorstep and saw several relatives standing there, my mood was instantly complicated, and I had an expression on my face that was difficult to hide.
In an awkward atmosphere, my family and I looked at each other, silent on each other, not knowing what to do.
At this time, my wife took the initiative to break the silence and stepped forward with a smile: "Big brother, sister-in-law, Tian Yu, you are here." ”
In addition to my brother and sister-in-law, I also have my nephew Tian Yu, my niece and daughter-in-law, and two nephews and a granddaughter, who came with their luggage. At first glance, it turned out to be a family coming together. After my wife and their greetings, I noticed some changes in my brother's expression. The elder brother held up the protruding beer belly, tilted his head slightly, and pretended to ask, "Isn't this a long vacation?"Tian Yu and his wife are filial and specially took us to travel. "He said that his aunt and uncle were in this city, and since we had come to the provincial capital, it would be rude not to visit him. The wife quickly opened the door, warmly welcomed them into the house, served drinks, hot water, prepared a fruit bowl, and treated them politely. He politely asked, "Have you all had dinner?" ”
At this time, it was about 7:40 a.m., and it was usually already eaten. My wife asked this, just casually.
The elder brother replied, "Not yet, we arrived at one o'clock in the afternoon, ate a little casually nearby, and then walked around a few scenic spots and ate some bread halfway." "It's a little late now, so you can cook a bowl of noodles for each of us, solve it simply, fill our stomachs, and then take a shower and rest." "The room doesn't have to be too tidy, just be able to sleep, don't be too particular. I've been in the car for so long today, and I've been visiting a lot of places, I'm really tired. "I hear this, **still need to guess?It's fake to come and say hello to us, it's real that you're going to stay overnight at our house.
I haven't been in touch with my brother's family for 5 years, and what he said at the beginning was actually the meaning of breaking off the relationship. The relationship has been frozen to this point, how can people care about politeness and impoliteness, whether it is decent or not?Apparently with ulterior motives. Well, people like my brother and sister-in-law never lack purpose in doing things.
My brother and I have a 6-year age difference. My brother showed a very sensible side when he was a child, always willing to help his parents with household chores, and always gave priority to me when there was something to eat.
I remember one time a guest came to the house, and in order to save more meat for my parents to drink, there was only one chicken leg left, and that chicken leg belonged to my share. I was touched by the fact that my brother never fought for my share.
As I grew older, I became more sensible and began to consciously give some chicken legs to my brother. He was always happy, and I was spontaneously happy to share. At that time, our brother and sister relationship was as deep as water.
Due to his brother's mediocre academic performance and his family's poor background, he chose to stay at home and work as a farmer after graduating from primary school. In contrast, my studies seemed to have been smooth sailing, and I was successfully admitted to the university, becoming the first university student in the village.
After graduating from university, I went to work in a public institution. The elder brother is still working in the fields.
As time went on, my brother was under more pressure to get married, but I sent home all my extra salary every month, in addition to my own expenses. This has significantly improved family conditions and attracted the attention of many matchmakers.
Eventually, my brother married his sister-in-law with my help. Seeing the smiles on his and his parents' faces bloom again, my heart is also relieved.
Every time I go home, I not only bring back the accumulated salary to my parents, but also bring some gifts for my sister-in-law and nephews. My sister-in-law was very warm to me and treated me as a guest of the family, but I preferred her to treat me as normal, so that I would feel more like a member of the family than a passerby.
After I got married, I couldn't give my parents' financial support as before, so I could only give my parents some holiday expenses during the Chinese New Year.
In order to earn a living, the elder brother and sister-in-law left their nephews at their parents' house, while they went out to work.
A few years later, my brother approached me and expressed his plight as a part-time worker with limited income and difficulty in spending time with the elderly and children. He asked me if I had a solution.
There was a middle school near my hometown, and one of my classmates was teaching there.
Although it is not possible to contract a canteen, I recommend opening a commissary in the school and investing some money. If run properly, it can be a profitable business.
With the help of my classmates, I provided a sum of money for my brother and sister-in-law to open a commissary in the middle school.
This decision not only solves the livelihood problem of the brother and sister-in-law, but also makes it easier for them to go home at any time to take care of the elderly and children.
My brother and sister-in-law are very smart and have been running a commissary in a middle school for 8 years. Later, they bought a plot of land in the town and built their own house. After the new house was built, they opened a small supermarket specializing in the fruit business.
The first disagreement between us was in 2011, when a piece of land in our hometown was expropriated and they received 130,000 yuan in compensation.
My parents wanted to divide the money into three parts, giving 30,000 yuan to the second elder, and my brother and I each getting 50,000 yuan.
Actually, I didn't plan to take the 50,000 yuan, but proposed to give all the money to my parents and let them keep it for themselves.
Before I could speak, my sister-in-law's reaction was extremely fierce: "Impossible, Tian Lidu is married, and the family's compensation has nothing to do with her." It can't be given to her. ”
Mom defended: "Although Tian Li is married, she is still a member of our family, how can you say that it has nothing to do with her?"Moreover, she deserves the money. She has given a lot to her family over the years, and we know that. ”
The sister-in-law retorted: "Mom, you are wrong, if Tian Yong hadn't worked as a farmer at home to earn money for Tian Li to study, she would have this status now?"said that Tian Yong helped her, and the reason why Tian Yong and I are here today is completely the result of our own efforts. ”
She looked firm, as if she had sworn that she would not give up, and her mother was clearly no match for her, and she was soon defeated.
In order to avoid the escalation of the conflict, I hurriedly said that I didn't need the 50,000 yuan.
Dad asked his brother, "Tian Yong, what do you think?"”
The elder brother thought for a moment and said: "I agree with my wife's point of view, in fact, Tian Li has already started a family, and the family's compensation has little to do with her. And her family is not short of money, the 50,000 yuan is not a big deal at all. ”
When my sister-in-law said this, I didn't feel any sadness. However, my brother's words really stung me.
Afterwards, I didn't ask for the 50,000 yuan, my brother got 70,000 yuan, and my parents left 60,000 yuan, and the controversy was temporarily settled. In 2014, my brother and sister-in-law bought a verdant villa and showed up on my doorstep without warning.
They planned to buy a large house in the county town for a total price of 550,000 yuan, but they unceremoniously borrowed 400,000 yuan from me. I wondered why they borrowed more money from me than they had deposited when they were buying a house on their ownWhat the hell is this? The elder brother explained: "It's better to buy a house in full, there is no pressure." The sister-in-law added: "Tian Li, you can help us, and when we move into the new house, we can take our parents to the county seat to live a happy life." We're doing well, and as your mother's family, you'll have a face, right? "I don't have that much money to spare, and even if I did, I wouldn't lend it to them. Moreover, relationships between people should not be measured in terms of money.
My brother and sister-in-law own a supermarket and fruit shop, and I heard that the business is not bad, maybe more than us. They bought a new car, and my sister-in-law was much more elaborate than me, and she traveled a lot. Sometimes I have to think carefully about buying better skincare products.
Borrowing money was a favor, and it was natural not to borrow, but I ended up with 30,000 yuan.
I said to my brother and sister-in-law, "Actually, I'm not rich myself, so I can barely make do with this money." I don't have to pay it back, it's a little bit of my mind. ”
My sister-in-law quickly put the money in her bag, but her words were not polite at all, calling me stingy, like giving alms to beggars.
She repeated the same line repeatedly, saying that if it weren't for her brother's hard work, there would be no happy life today.
The elder brother said angrily, "Forget it, let's go." It seems that we treat you as a relative, and you didn't think of it that way. I can't even help with such a small help, I really can't be a brother and sister. ”
I told them that in that case, then give me back the 30,000 yuan. I can take this money to travel with the elderly and children in my family, and I would rather choose this way than be wronged.
The sister-in-law said, "You can't take back what you give, it's mine." ”
In the end, they bought the new house with all the money, took 100,000 yuan from my parents, and the rest was their own savings.
Because I was angry, my brother and sister-in-law didn't invite me to the celebration when they moved to a new house. Since you didn't invite me, I didn't go. Just put the money to work on where it's worth it.
My dad was recently diagnosed with cancer and showed some signs. He has been losing his appetite lately, has lost his appetite, often feels nauseous and wants to throw up, and his body has become much thinner.
I decided to bring my father to the provincial capital for a check-up and **, but my brother and sister-in-law were indifferent to it. I had to ask my uncle to help me contact my brother and ask him to come to the hospital to take care of my father.
However, the elder brother responded: "I'm running a business, how can I leave time?".And my sister-in-law is so busy taking care of her grandchildren that she can't spare her hands at all. If you can't take care of it, you can pay for a caregiver. ”
When I offered to pay, my brother said, "I have so much money."I borrowed some money to buy a house, but I haven't paid it off yet, and I have a daughter who is in college. ”
Eight months later, my dad passed away. A lot of money is spent, but people are not treated in time.
Just finished his father's funeral, but his brother and sister-in-law began to care about the savings in his mother's hand.
In the end, my mother only had about 10,000 yuan left, and they asked for this money. However, the brother and sister-in-law are still not satisfied, thinking that the property in the hands of the mother should be more than that.
Originally, my parents lived in an old house in the village, but now my mother is the only one left, and the living environment is quite unsafe.
For the sake of fairness, the eldest aunt suggested that we take our mother to live in the city, and stipulated that we would live at my brother's house for half a year, and then at my house for half a year.
My mother had just been staying at my brother's house for more than 3 months before she was sent back to my house. It turned out that my sister-in-law felt that my mother was not hygienic enough, and there was a smell on her body that was unbearable.
My mother was very hygienic and would take a shower every day to change her clothes and keep her tidy.
Regarding the smell of old age, although there is a little, it is not obvious, so that it is not unbearable. The taste is very light, even my ** son will not dislike it.
Actually, I know that my brother and sister-in-law are reluctant to let my mother go to their home to care for the elderly, and this is just an excuse. My mother also knew this, so she suggested going back to her hometown.
However, I didn't agree with letting mom go back. She went through a lot of hardships when she was young, and her health was not good.
There is a good saying: "The tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the child wants to raise but does not wait." "I just hope that I can do my best and be filial so that my mother can enjoy her old age in peace.
Back one day in 2018, my mother went shopping with an old lady in the neighborhood to the vegetable market, but she had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment, but eventually passed away.
I tearfully sent my mother back to my hometown with my wife and son, and before the funeral was fully handled, my brother and sister-in-law blamed me in front of my relatives, saying that we did not take good care of my mother, which led to her death.
After the funeral, my brother said something to tell me not to come back and not to leave his relatives. He also emphasized that the family's old house belonged to him and had nothing to do with me.
About half a year later, my cousin called me ** and told me that my brother had rented the house in his hometown to a foreign tenant, and the annual rent was 30,000 yuan.
Later, I learned that my brother emphasized the old house because he had already planned to rent it out. According to my wishes, I am reluctant to rent my old house to someone else, because it is full of memories of my parents. But by the time I found out, my brother had already signed a contract with the tenant.
Over the years, I had no contact with my brother's family, nor did I know about their living conditions, and I had no interest in learning about them. Occasionally, I contacted my aunt and cousins, just to talk about everyone's life, and they knew that my relationship with my brother's family was not good, and they never deliberately mentioned it.
When I suddenly saw my brother and sister-in-law's family appearing at my doorstep, I was really mixed.
Their arrival left me with no idea what they were up to. Even though their attitude has changed, I still can't accept this family staying at my house.
After my brother spoke, I quickly poured a basin of cold water. I asked my wife to take them to a nearby restaurant for noodles and introduced them to some nearby hotels.
The elder brother and sister-in-law turned pale, while the nephew, niece, and grandnephew were silent, and the atmosphere became even more eerie than just now.
The sister-in-law reproached: "Tian Li, you are too much, you don't have any human touch at all." We specially came here from afar to travel, and staying at your house is to give you face. ”
We're your mother's family, aren't you making your brother-in-law laugh at this?”
I haven't seen her for many years, and my sister-in-law's mouth is still as spicy as ever.
I replied, "Didn't my brother say that he wouldn't let me go as your relative?"My parents are gone, and I still have my mother's family. ”
My wife won't laugh at you because of me, and I don't care what he thinks, so you don't have to ask. ”
After the wife saw them off, it took some time to return. He asked me if I wanted to ask my aunt, cousin and others about what was going on at my brother's house, after all, it was not reasonable for them to choose to stay at my house.
I replied that I didn't need to ask, and I couldn't. Even after several years, I still can't let go of what my brother and sister-in-law did.
In this case, as I said at the beginning, let's just treat this relative as if it never existed, and just live their own lives.