"Falling in love with someone", which happened at the age of 14, is still forbidden. All of a sudden, I had a lot to do, busy with the melancholy, and busy hiding the gloom at the same time.
At this stage when I couldn't deal with myself, a special composition training by head teacher Yang Zhenyu created an emotional outlet for me. In that composition class, Yang Zhenyu brought an easel and a few **, he pinned those pictures on the easel, **the content is characters, still life and landscape, and then let us choose a random one of our own feelings** to write an essay.
He said: "If you can't see clearly, you can come over and read carefully, you can write any genre of the article, prose, discussion**, short stories, whatever you want, and the number of words is not limited." I only have two requirements, one is to show the ability to observe, and the other is to use the imagination. ”
Yang Zhenyu is always like this, he has a lot of time to do with us.
Because I was in a crush, I was very emotional, and I especially needed to use the topic to play, so I chose the scenery at random**, and wrote an article with the theme of "Sadness and Parting".
A week later, my essay was read aloud in composition class as a model essay.
It was the first time in my life that I had heard someone read my writing. In Yang Zhenyu's voice, the cells in my whole body suddenly woke up as if they had been shocked, and I clearly felt their existence.
After class, Yang Zhenyu packed up the lesson plan, and before leaving the classroom, he muttered for a few seconds, turned his head and called my name, and motioned for me to go with him. Based on previous experience, it will not be a good thing to be called to the office ten of the **, and the remaining ten or two may be a good thing, and it only belongs to those so-called "pride of the sky". Even if Yang Zhenyu broke the routine in front of me again and again, I never thought that those extraordinary things would one day be related to me.
I walked behind Yang Zhenyu and followed him into the office with a sense of timidity.
Yang Zhenyu led me straight to his desk, and after putting down the lesson plan, he rummaged through the bookshelf next to him for a while, pulled out a book, turned around and handed it to me.
You can look at this, and maybe one day, you can write something like this and publish a book. ”
I took the book, which was a collection of essays by Sanmao. I held the book in my hand, my arm shaking, speechless. I shook because I didn't have the experience of receiving gifts from my teachers.
Yang Zhenyu ignored my crampedness and continued: "My favorite writer, Jack London, has a special training in writing, and he will record what he thinks is interesting anytime, anywhere. Through this method, observation and narration skills are trained. Personally, I believe that inspiration is the result of practice making perfect. If you have enough passion for writing essays, I suggest you try this method. ”
It was from that day that I began to keep an observation diary. Yang Zhenyu said: "You must observe carefully, experience carefully, and record everything you observe truthfully." 'Truthfulness' is particularly important, that is, to observe as much as possible, to record as much as possible, and to think as much as possible. Over time, you may find that your powers of observation are becoming more and more acute. "A week later, I handed him my first observation diary, and that week, I observed the changes in the sun.
When Yang Zhenyu returned the notebook to me, he wrote a big "good" word under this sentence - "Today's light is strong, I looked up at the sun, and then looked down to see the negative of the world." ”
Even though it was only one word, it was it that enlightened my perception of love. After that, whenever I talk about "love", I think that all true love must be based on understanding and appreciating a person.
My observation journal continued for a few more weeks, shifting from sunlight to plants to stray dogs lying at the school gate every day. When the first book was almost full, Yang Zhenyu gave me a new one, and at the same time, the homework was upgraded: "From this one, write about a person you are interested in." At this point, I got a "home remedy" from Yang Zhenyu, and the unrequited love that was blocked in my heart, accompanied by the uncontrollable "observation" of that person, was written out by me word by word.
My mom was so happy to see that I was often working hard in my room, and occasionally came in with a snack or two and asked, "What are you writing about?".”
I said, "Our teacher left the homework." ”
She leaned over and saw just in time for a word I was using, "pampered" – idioms always have the effect of making a sentence profound. My mom was very satisfied and said, "Oh, write well." "I didn't dig any deeper.
Soon after, I could only write "J was late today and didn't participate in the morning run", but later, under Yang Zhenyu's various heuristic comments, I was able to write J's dynamics within 10 minutes between classes.
I have come to enjoy this writing training more and more, in addition to the sense of achievement, more importantly, the emotions that are crowded in my heart are released through words.
Out of trust in Yang Zhenyu, my unrequited love for J can be seen at a glance in the text training.
Yang Zhenyu has always kept a distance from my unrequited love itself, never asked, and only circled each article on a case-by-case basis.
To be discussed" are the words I learned from Yang Zhenyu's comments. The concept of "discussion" has appeared in my life, and it also started with Yang Zhenyu, who was the first adult not to treat us with "criticism" and "denial". In the "discussion", my tense heartstrings gradually relaxed. A teenager, at the age of thirteen or fourteen, has the privilege of turning honesty with the world into words, honing a skill that is a precious gift, whether or not it is used as a means of earning a living in the future.
It didn't take long for J and another girl to become the only pair of teenage lovers in our class who were openly in and out of pairs, and they instantly became the focus of heated discussions in the class. Yang Zhenyu did not say anything about this. Not long after, during a one-day Xi class, Yang Zhenyu walked up to my seat, gently patted me on the shoulder, and said, "Come." ”
I was like that again, with my head down, following him, across the campus, and into a separate office.
Yang Zhenyu motioned for me to sit down, and he took out a clean teacup from the cabinet, made a cup of hot tea, and placed it in front of me.
Then he sat across the table from me, paused, and said, "If you don't want to write lately, you can stop." If you want to write something else, feel free to ask me. ”
I began to shed tears over that cup of tea as if the tear gate had been turned on.
Yang Zhenyu was not far in front of me, watching my tears fall from time to time.
He didn't make any specific comments on the matter itself, let alone any fleshy body language, and his concern had its own style, which was very light, but obvious.
In fact, the place for teenagers is very limited, and when growing up pushes teenagers to hide their true selves in front of their parents, school becomes the most important position. Once you have to carry another disguise at school, time becomes difficult.
My unrequited love has the kind of difficulty that is suppressed under double disguise.
Fortunately, in a breathless and difficult moment, Yang Zhenyu gave me an understanding without criticism, like a life jacket that appeared in time after a person fell into the water.
Many times, what supports a person through many difficulties in life is "understanding".
And those adults who did not give any moral accusation or criticism when you were injured when you were young are true gentlemen.
After letting me shed tears, Yang Zhenyu turned around and pulled out a book from the bookshelf behind him and told me about a work he liked.
He's talking about Jack London's "Love of Life."
I remember at the end of that day he said, "Heaven will sometimes give us gifts, sometimes in a pleasant way, sometimes in a hurry, sometimes in a happy way, sometimes in pain." It doesn't matter how you give, what matters is that you find the gift and try your best to catch it. If you don't catch those gifts, or if you don't catch them in time, you will miss them, and they will be ruined, and the 'gifts' will not wait for you. ”
I listened to him and took a break from my sadness, impressed by how freely he used so many idioms.
That was the luck of my youth, when unrequited love broke and sank like a boat hitting a rock, Yang Zhenyu told me as a gentleman that "the gift may be painful", and this timely "understanding" sent me back to the road of possible healing. It is this process that has brought me an important realization: everyone's greatest responsibility to themselves in this life is to discover their own "me". A cowardly or deaf life has no "me".
It wasn't until I was so solemnly affirmed by Yang Zhenyu that I suddenly wanted to ask myself "who am I". Then, for the sake of this "I", I must come out clearly, independently, and bravely in the vast world, and go on, no matter what circumstances I face, until I reach the end of the sky.