The relationship between relatives is one in which blood dissolves in water.
In the world, except for parents and siblings, one's own children, and lovers, everyone else is an "outsider."
We can be tolerant of our lovers, and love will also promote our growthFor our children, we will help without reciprocating anything, and we will be eager to take everything out.
When we get along with our parents, brothers and sisters, our attitudes are very different. It is possible to worry about each other, turn their faces, or even attack each other.
Especially when the parents are very old, or after the death of the parents, the brothers and sisters no longer gather together to eat, and they don't even bother to hit one. The grievances of the past have already broken our hearts.
In fact, when people reach middle age, they only know that firewood, rice, oil and salt are expensive, and only when they are in charge do they know the warmth and coldness of people: what makes the relationship between relatives worse is mostly trivial and unbearable to look back on;To make the relationship between relatives better, as long as you learn to pretend to be confused, it's not that difficult.
The partiality of the parents, pretending to be generous, the resentment slowly passed.
When I was a child, I was the youngest of my three siblings.
My mother always put the clothes that my older brothers and sisters wore next to my pillow.
During the Chinese New Year, I thought there would be new clothes, but they were still empty. My parents gave me my brother's clothes, which I had slightly modified.
Tears of grievance, at the end of the year, can't help but bubble up.
My mother sent my sister to college, but I only went to high school. The level of education is too low, and my life is limited everywhere.
The family's property, how to distribute it, the mother made the decision on her own and gave the savings to her sister.
None of the brothers and sisters could understand what the mother was doing.
In a flash, we all grew up, and when we mentioned our mother's actions, we were indignant.
In a flash, we were all almost fifty years old. The standard of living has also improved, and I no longer have to worry about a piece of clothing and struggle for academic qualifications.
I suddenly realized that in the seventies and eighties of the last century, my family was in the countryside, and my parents' annual income was only one or two thousand, and it was difficult to maintain the family. It is also a last resort for people to wear old clothes;As for the rest, the various reasons, it is not clear.
"Lao Tzu" says: "The one who wins is powerful, and the one who wins is strong." ”People, after all, rely on themselves. If you rely on your parents, when your parents are old, you will fall into a panic;Relying on brothers and sisters will also chill. When you try not to care about your parents' partiality, you will find that you are getting stronger.
Really, parents are also parents for the first time, and if they don't do well, you and I forgive me. After all, eccentricity is not a violation of law and discipline, nor is it moral turpitude, but it is just an emotional deviation, and it is still good to go to the starting point.
The amount of courtesy, pretending to be generous, and the internal friction of communication will be less.
My nephew went to college and gave 800 red envelopes;After three years, my niece went to college and gave a thousand red envelopes.
My sister said, "It's too much of a bully." ”
Obviously, my sister is very disgusted with my approach, and it is only a matter of two hundred yuan, which has not been pleasant for several years.
On the other side of the matter, my sister's family is more than enough to support a child to go to schoolMy brother's family is in the countryside, and it is difficult to support the children in school. And, with the passage of time, it is reasonable that there will be more red envelopes in the price of **.
Because of the courtesy, families that cause falling out abound.
If you have studied the matter of Sui Li, you will be relieved.
In the early years of the Ming Dynasty, all industries were waiting to be prospered, and Zhu Yuanzhang saw many poor people who were worried because of red and white happy events.
And he himself experienced the pain of the death of a loved one, unable to afford even a cemetery, and without a coffin.
In order to let the poor people have the ability to handle red and white ceremonies with dignity, he issued the "Religious People's List" - the people in the township are rich and poor. Marriage deaths, injuries, auspicious and evil things, no one has it. In the future, the people of Benli, whenever they encounter this, they will give each other a week. ”The purpose of the gift is to make the poorer families live a better life;So that people who can't do big things can also do big things. Giving a gift is to help, not to show off, not to save face.
Between brothers and sisters, use the way of courtesy, so that the poorer people are better;Between parents and children, the children's gift is to repay the parents, and the parents' gift is to pull a hand.
Don't care about the amount of gift money, even if you help, your confusion is the pattern, and "justified". Of course, you don't have to care how much money you accept, the other party does their best.
Fulfill the responsibility of filial piety and pretend to be atmospheric, and the moral quality will be improved.
The ancients proposed: "Filial piety is not better than brother, and poverty is not to blame the father." ”No matter how difficult your life is, be more generous in front of your parents, don't complain, and show your strengths appropriately.
When your parents get your alimony and see your income, they will feel at ease and be willing to spend some money.
At the same time, don't blame your siblings for not giving enough alimony to their parents, or if they are delaying. Every family has its own difficulties.
The crow is very dark and has a very difficult voice, but it has a feeding behavior. As a result, people will also praise the crows.
The human heart is warm, the voice is polite, how can it not be compared to the crow?
"Zhou Yi" said: "The house of goodness, there must be Yu Qing;."If you don't accumulate goodness, there will be aftermath. ”In the lifetime of parents, more filial piety is the greatest kindness. When my parents passed away, I didn't think about what to do, and it was too late.
The saddest thing is that because of the quarrel between the siblings, the parents are not at peace, and they are still melancholy until death.
People who can't even tolerate their parents, don't talk about accumulating virtue and blessings. Treating outsiders as family members and treating family members as outsiders is nothing more than a joke for outsiders.
In the beginning, you have to pretend to be a "good person", or maybe you are twisting and pinching, and you are reluctant. But if you "pretend" for too long, it will become a "Xi".
Xi's habit of treating relatives well embodies the ancient adage that "suffering losses is blessings."
To think like this, in a family, everyone is unwilling to suffer, and it is destined to be like chickens flying and dogs jumping. There are one or two people who are willing to suffer, that is, to add some lubricant to the family and make the relationship warm.
"The Book of Filial Piety" has a saying: "Those who love their relatives dare not be evil to others;."Those who respect their relatives dare not be slow to others. ”When a person gives up all the additional conditions to love his relatives, his heart is compassionate, and the impression he gives to outsiders is also good, so that the situation in life will be opened up quickly.
People, if you want to get sunshine, you have to have sunshine in your heart.
Author: Cloth Clothes Coarse Food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The picture in the article is ** on the Internet.