Cute baby cute pet happy creation season
The grandson is an outsider, and the grandson is his own family", for many old people, the grandson is closer than the grandson, so the grandson should be the grandparents rushing to take it.
However, this is not the case, "grandparents just come to appreciate", "dad only cares about lying on the sofa when he comes home", and the responsibility of parenting is handed over to grandma, which is one of the main reasons why more and more grandma has joined the "main force with babies".
The news network once did a survey, and the highest proportion was grandma with a baby, as high as 439%, and the grandmother with the baby is as low as 147%, and only 27 mothers choose to bring their own babies5%。
In the documentary "Grandma", Grandma Youyou said helplessly that before her daughter gave birth, her mother-in-law told her, "Sister, this girl is born, you must come!."As a result, after she came, she couldn't leave.
And Grandma Gege mentioned her niece and saw her taking care of her daughter's child, and her niece said happily, "I am liberated, and I don't need to take care of my son's child in the future!"”
Why are more and more grandmothers coming to bring babies?
On the one hand, because of the absence of grandparents, and on the other hand, because of the choice of daughters, they are more inclined to let their mothers take the baby to avoid conflicts with their mothers-in-law.
Grandma takes the baby, which seems to avoid the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the mother feels more sorry for her daughter, and takes care of the child more attentively, but it is not as beautiful as imagined.
Even if her best friend Qianqian was pregnant and gave birth, she was able to return to the workplace smoothly later, and her career went to the next level, thanks to her mother's help to her.
From the birth of her son to the age of 6, in the past 6 years, her mother has been by her side, and her son has a deep relationship with his grandmother, even more than her own mother. However, after the child entered elementary school, his mother clamored to go back to his hometown and never came back.
Qianqian felt surprised, obviously we got along well, the child grew up, and when she was about to enjoy happiness, her mother was leavingAfter careful questioning, she felt her debt to the old man.
The old man took the baby out to play, and when he chased others, the baby accidentally fell, and the pain was so painful that he cried, and the daughter reprimanded her mother and asked her to hold the child's hand and walk in the future, but the child was naughty and active, **willing to cooperate!She was in a dilemma.
If there is no desire of the daughter and son-in-law to do it, once the child makes a mistake, it is always the old man who is criticized, and the son-in-law always likes to mention, "If you can't take the child well, I will let my mother take it!".The old man could only endure it again and again because of his daughter's affection, and secretly hid in the room at night to wipe his tears.
Finally, when the child grows up and has the ability to take care of herself, she has no worries and can return to her hometown with confidence.
Qianqian thought that her mother was enjoying herself by her side, but she didn't expect that the old man had suffered so many grievances, and she regretted it. If she did it again, she would never choose to let her mother take care of her children, and she also mentioned 4 disadvantages about grandma with a baby, which made people think deeply.
1.The relationship between Bao's mother and grandma lacks a sense of boundary
If it is a mother-in-law with a baby, the daughter-in-law will treat her mother-in-law politely when she takes into account her husband's feelings, but in the face of her own mother, it is different.
Because it is a mother and daughter, the relationship is deep, and the speech will be more unscrupulous, and the daughter will feel that she is still the same as before marriage, and my mother needs to spoil me unconditionally, even if it is an unreasonable request, my mother needs to do her best.
If the mother does something wrong, she will bear the anger and scolding of her daughter, but the daughter will not comfort her own mother like comforting her mother-in-law, but will ignore her mother's feelings.
The child is taken by the mother, the housework is also done by the mother, the daughter is the same as the son-in-law, she is the shopkeeper, and the child-rearing is the responsibility of the mother, and the old man is like a free nanny.
The relationship between Bao Ma and Grandma, if there is no boundary, only know how to call the elderly, this kind of relationship, for the elderly, one more day is a crime, and there is no sense of happiness at all.
2.Grandma is more troublesome with the baby
Children are energetic, especially naughty children, more likely to be injured, grandma with the baby, highly nervous, for fear that the child bumped, once the child is sick, grandma has to stay up late with the baby.
For grandma, it is not easy to bring a baby to her daughter, but there are also hardships, not to mention hard work, but also more painstaking, do a good job, no one praises, but whenever something goes wrong, not only have to endure the accusations of her daughter and son-in-law, but also the dissatisfaction from grandparents.
3.Grandma pays a lot, and it is difficult to get the respect of her son-in-law
For the elderly, no matter how hard they work, they can't compare to farming, and no matter how tired they are, they won't complain, but in the life of their daughter's family, the old man is trembling.
After all, the son-in-law has no blood relationship with him, and the old man doesn't want to embarrass his daughter, so he just endures it, but under the same roof, how can there be no contradictions?
The son-in-law may be hostile to the grandmother, thinking that she has robbed the grandmother of the opportunity to get along with the children, and deprived the grandmother of the happiness of wanting her children and grandchildren around her knees.
Not only that, when the grandmother comes to take the baby, the son-in-law will be more lazy with peace of mind, anyway, it is not his own mother, he does not have to worry about the old man being tired, he will not take a hand, and he will not respect the old man, but he will be angry because the old man did not take the child well.
In the documentary "Grandma", when Grandma Gege mentioned her son-in-law, she looked lonely, she had been bringing a baby to her daughter for a long time, but her son-in-law never called herself "Mom", she ridiculed herself as an unknown "unsung hero", which made people sad.
4.Grandma has no sense of belonging, sacrificing her career or personal pursuits
Grandma came to the big city alone, brought a baby to her daughter, not only lonely, but also had no sense of belonging, life became two points and one line, even if the child went to primary school, it was just one more place to run, and life was monotonous and boring.
In the documentary "Grandma", Shuai Hu's grandmother loves to sing, but in order to bring a baby to her daughter, she had to put down the small business in her hand.
Yunyun's grandmother has been an actor, and after retirement, she can still live a drama addiction, her daughter travels or gathers with friends, and her life is comfortable, since the child was born, she brought a baby to her daughter, lost her spare time, and could only circle around the stove and the child.
She missed her deceased mother, and wanted to take advantage of the Qingming Festival to go back to her hometown, after returning to her hometown, she saw her long-lost relatives and friends, and the two talked happily.
After returning to Zhengzhou, she was in a very comfortable mood, and she was no longer as aggrieved as before, as if she had changed as a different person. Later, she went to the theater with her friends, even if her daughter was around her knees, the old people could not get rid of their fate, for the sake of the children, for the sake of their daughters, no matter how difficult it was, they had to endure it.
The old people gave up their careers or hobbies and willingly gave their daughters a baby, but they never got used to life in the big city, and they didn't have their own time to cultivate or continue their hobbies, which was the most unbearable thing for them.
In fact, the old man does not have the obligation to take the baby, but the old man is willing to send charcoal in the snow to help bring the baby, this is love.
The sacrifice made by the old man to bring the baby should be seen by the young people, and the old man who really brings the baby for his daughter should be treated kindly.
As children, we should be more tolerant and understanding of the elderly, and in addition to work, we should be brave enough to take on the responsibility of parenting, so that the elderly have leisure to relax, have time to cultivate their own interests, make more friends of the same age, and let the elderly feel more warmth and less loneliness in this city.
Wonderful review of previous issues:
Why has grandma gradually become the "main force" with a baby?What is Grandma up to?The reasons behind it are thought-provoking.
Facts have proved that most of the children who can "kiss their mothers" when they grow up are their mothers who do these 4 things right.
A "new style with a baby" is emerging, the elderly are not tired, the children are grateful, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are happy, and the family is harmonious.
A "new type of eccentricity" is spreading in second-child families, which is not about patriarchal preference but hurts children more.
Grandma and grandma, who is closest to the child?The scientific ranking is worth pondering for parents and the elderly.