Bi Shumin said
"Our lives don't exist to please others. ”
In life, we often can't do what we like because we are afraid of other people's eyes and gossip.
Especially when you hide from the eyes of others, it is as if you have done something wrong, and you can't be yourself generously and casually.
You must know that life is your own, and even if there are many audiences in the audience, you will always be the protagonist of life.
Whether others like us or hate us, we can't stop them from looking at us and what they think of us.
But we can ignore their existence, after all, a person's value can only be defined by himself, and a person's happiness can only be created by himself.
Instead of blindly wronging yourself, please others;It's better to please yourself and block out the voices of the outside world.
If you blindly please others, you will lose yourself
I like a quote very much:
If you look too far ahead and try to please the whole world, you will only forget who you are. ”
Indeed, in order to cater to others, to be what others like, to do things that you don't like, sooner or later you will forget what you are.
After a long time, it is difficult to take off the mask you put on.
In other words, the lower you put yourself, the less you will be respected by the other person, but the more you will make others look down on you.
Cai Kangyong once said:
"If we always try to meet the expectations of others, we will eventually feel struggling, and we should live for ourselves once. ”
Living under the expectations of others is tantamount to constantly putting pressure on yourself.
No matter how well you do, you can't do it best, and no matter how you change, you can't do it to everyone's heart.
For example, if you want to make someone who hates you change their mind, what you can do is to cater to their preferences.
Even if you don't like it and don't want to do that, you still choose to wronged yourself and force yourself to please others.
The final result is often only looked down upon and ridiculed by the other party.
It wasn't as we expected, as in the TV series: the other party was moved by his sincerity, and the two became best friends ever since.
As Aristotle said:
"In this life, what can be tempered should only be self-sufficient happiness. ”
Only when a person learns how to respect himself and how to love himself can he have the ability to love others better.
After all, respect and affection cannot be forced, but attracted by one's own ability.
As the saying goes, "if you bloom, butterflies will come", people who focus on themselves are often more powerful than pleasing others, and those who recognize themselves never need to force others to seek recognition.
If you blindly please, you will eventually lose yourself.
The greatest stupidity is to blindly fit in
There is such a sentence in "Eyesight":
"There are some things that can only be done by one person;Some levels can only be passed by one person;There are some roads that can only be walked alone. ”
On the road of life, when you encounter problems, many times you solve them by yourself;When you encounter difficulties, you often deal with them alone.
After all, it's your life, and someone else can give you advice;can also pull you when you need it, but the road behind you will depend on yourself after all, and the result will depend on how you choose.
But that doesn't mean you have to be lonely.
Friends can bring happiness to us to a greater or lesser extent, and circles can help us at critical moments and give us emotional value when needed.
However, a moderate degree of gregariousness and fitting into the right circle will make you feel happy;And blindly fitting in, squeezing into an inappropriate circle, will only hurt yourself.
Jiang Fangzhou once said:
"Those who truly appreciate you will always appreciate your pride, not pretending to be humble and pleasing to you. ”
The right circle is to make you feel comfortable, and a good relationship is not humble and the two are equal.
In other words, two people may not necessarily feel comfortable together, but one person will certainly feel comfortable alone.
If you enter an unsuitable circle, it is wisest to quit as soon as possible.
The reason why people want to explore the meaning of life is because everyone's life is different, each has its own experience, and each has its own wonderful.
Listen to your inner voice and be yourself seriously, not for who to fit in and who to please is what we should be.
The fool pleases others, and the wise man pleases himself
Nietzsche once said:
"Honey, you have to be clear about the script of your life - you are not a sequel to your parents, nor a prequel to your children, nor an extranel to your friends. With life, you might as well take a bold risk because sooner or later you will lose it. ”
In life, there is no opportunity for rehearsal, and whether the content of the script is wonderful or not depends on how you interpret it.
Pleasing others and losing oneself, or pleasing oneself and sticking to one's heart, it all depends on how you choose.
In the second half of life, it is better to manage yourself than to please others;It's better to accept yourself than to strengthen the inappropriate circle.
As long as you start to love yourself and start to be better, you don't have to please others, others will love you, and others will be attracted to you.