After successfully obtaining her master's certificate, Zhou Rong finally found the time to return to her residence in Beijing, or more accurately, she only lived in the 18-square-meter home where Feng Huacheng once lived.
The two have been sitting together for 4 years, just like Zhou Rong is still the innocent girl with a full face of admiration, and Feng Huacheng is still the traditional poet of Beijing in a high position. On a sunny afternoon, the two are arguing about something that is about to happen. Zhou Rong was still the first to speak, and she asked Feng Huacheng why he became what he is now"I didn't do anything right from the start, and I felt like I was depraved. Feng Huacheng calmly responded, "I have fallen. ”
In the original work, Feng Huacheng faced the confused Zhou Rong and launched a series of affectionate accusations:
I was afraid, I knew that if I didn't write new poems for three years in a row, people might forget about me altogether, or still associate my name with other poems, but I might look sympathetically at me as an obsolete poet, even if I didn't.
Ancient Chinese poets and their works will leave an immortal mark on history, while modern poets and their works will also receive widespread attention and praise. In such an environment, our poets and our poems should also have their own thoughts and pursuits, just like our people. In this day and age, there is only a subtle rift between us and our poetry, allowing us to exist for a short time, after which it naturally arises and dies. My poems fall into the latter category. Although the atmosphere of poetry is still quite enthusiastic at the moment, as a poet, I know that my style of poetry is too traditional. New poetry is not so fashionable today, and its vitality is declining. New poetry is gathering energy, and poets like me will soon lose their vitality. I have lost my self-confidence in poetry, and I am no longer capable of being a real poet. I have lost all my energy and passion, and I have almost nothing but me being my husband and father. I'm afraid, I'm afraid I'm going to die in this world, I'm afraid I'm going to leave this world, I'm going to leave this world. I'm afraid I'll die in this world!I was terrified of the day coming.
However, Zhou Rong had lost the patience to listen to him, and instead interrupted him mercilessly: "Let's break up and divorce." Feng Huacheng, who stopped suddenly, did not make a final confession, he just made a request for a hug. "I don't want to, I don't want to, I'm going to leave you!At this particular moment, Zhou Rong's mood seemed to be moved by the actor's script, her heart was as solid as a rock, and tears never fell, while Feng Huacheng was like a fragile heroine, crying out loud without concealment.
Feng Huacheng's "well-behaved" performance towards Zhou Rong is actually playing the role of "husband".
When Zhou Rong first met Feng Huacheng, she was only 16 years old and in Beijing. But unfortunately, Feng Huacheng was criticized by everyone. Seeing Zhou Rong in the crowd, Zhou Rong involuntarily raised the head she was originally wearing, but because of the head she raised, she was ruthlessly whipped. He seemed so silent in the crowd, but his eyes were gentle. The blood that flows from the forehead shows a unique, heart-pounding charm.
This is the first time the two have met, like the imprint left by their previous lives, which makes them feel an indescribable sense of familiarity when they meet in a hurry for the first time. At that time, he was still a student. In fact, Feng Huacheng has developed fear and remorse after experiencing countless criticisms and scoldings. However, by the time he was labeled a right-wing poet, he had lost his chance to turn back.
Despite this, he still did not want to feel lost because of the young woman who deeply admired him through numerous letters, and his act of raising his head was also selflessly dedicated by Zhou Rong two years later.
Guizhou, this remote mountainous area, has become a 10-year emotional bond between Feng Huacheng and Zhou Rong. Although Feng Huacheng could not drink as much as he wanted, nor could he express any political views, it was the most harmonious moment of their love and marriage.
Feng Huacheng behaved very obediently to Zhou Rong, how well-behaved was he?Just as kittens and puppies are deeply dependent on their owners, he will eagerly approach her whenever Zhou Rong is slightly teasing. He knew that he was a poor boy, but he fell in love with a woman who was two years younger than him. Also, why didn't he do it?Although he was trapped in prison, his beautiful wife was always by his side, and this joy was transmitted from the depths of his body to every corner.
More importantly, he knows Zhou Rong very well, and this woman who came out of the working class is worth to him. Although she can't get rid of the label of the right, she is a strong backing for his life, and he can't do it if he doesn't want to value her.
As the saying goes, nine out of ten poets are addicted to alcohol, and Feng Huacheng also has a strong interest in drinking. The amount of alcohol he drank was a problem, so his life was always dominated by alcohol. However, in the past 10 years, he has almost completely abandoned the Xi of drinking, and even if he really can't control his desire to drink, he has to give it a little try under Zhou Rong's watch.
Because he has the responsibility to play the role of her husband in Zhou Rong's heart.
In Keigo Higashino's work "White Night Walking", he mentions: "Human nature should not have a moral cleanliness fetish for anyone, because in this world, everyone is a half-human and half-ghost existence, and if you get too close, it is difficult to attract people's attention."
As a poet with a good reputation, how could Feng Huacheng not listen, speak, or express his feelings?
Zhou Rong provided him with a strong backing to ensure that he could move forward safely in his 10 years of decentralized life. Therefore, he will try to be patient, even if he really can't bear it, he will also write love poems, because love poems are the only magic weapon that can move Zhou Rong.
However, this is not Feng Huacheng in the real sense, and this inner oppression is constantly impacting every nerve in him.
Maybe everyone thinks that Feng Huacheng was really defeated, sincerely repented and reformed, and really became Zhou Rong's well-behaved husband like a puppy.
However, he used to be so presumptuous, unreservedly criticizing those he didn't like, expressing his deep displeasure and anger with poetry, while he was surrounded by a group of followers who admired and adored him. He has spent nearly twenty years in this environment, and his life has been like this, and he has never been satisfied with anything since he was born. In this day-to-day life, how can he let go of the past, and how can he truly be tamed?After all, he's a poet!
For him, Zhou Rong's following became the most powerful proof of his decadent state, and at the same time, he had to behave like an obedient poor man in life. His life is full of legends. However, most people don't really understand this, they just think it's a process of self-reflection and self-renewal. For Feng Hua, as long as there was a little hope, how could he possibly reduce himself to the dust.
Being unfaithful to different women many times is undoubtedly the most serious act of revenge against Zhou Rong.
When it was over, he returned to Beijing without any problems, and the people around him were full of sympathy and respect, which made him feel a little carried away.
His former glory seems to have been restored overnight, but those harrowing 10 years have been buried in the barren sand, and can no longer disturb his daily life.
However, finding a stable living environment has become his first problem. So, he decided to find a job near the community. He had been confident in non-city cooperation, but because he couldn't get a property, he had to compromise and choose to work at the district library. However, due to the clear requirement that he was not a member of the party, he had to accept the post of deputy curator.
Innocent, he always likes to joke, as if Feng Huacheng's 10-year sin is only part of Nan Ke's dream, and the compensation given to him is nothing more than a helpless retreat again and again.
But what about Zhou Rong in **?How did he grow from a "layman" to a well-known scholar?Instead of intervening in the housing problems that bothered him, his wife happily began his Xi journey at Peking University. Feng Huacheng deeply admires the perseverance of his wife Zhou Rong, who was able to successfully enter Peking University in the second year after the resumption of the college entrance examination, which proves that Zhou Rong is indeed a very outstanding figure, but apart from their respective changes, they are still a very close couple.
Once when he was drunk, he couldn't help but say loudly to Zhou Rong: "I accepted this position entirely because I wanted to give you a home. Your love for me is fair, and now I have made you a Pekingese. Did you know that there are many women who are willing to have sex with any man for the sake of their Beijing hukou? There are many students at Peking University, and they may not all stay in Beijing after graduation, but you will definitely be able to stay in Beijing, because I have become a Beijinger again, and in the end you are still stained with my light. ”
Zhou Rong is a tenacious person, how could she tolerate him making such an opinion?She firmly believes that as long as she relies on her own strength, she can stay in Beijing. But shockingly, she revealed an even more brutal truth: many women go so far as to have sex with men and sell their bodies in order to maintain their household registration in Beijing.
Such statements eventually led to an unhappy breakup for both parties. However, when he saw more and more of his wife, he felt extremely unbalanced in his heart, and even had thoughts of revenge. Since he became an official poet of the cooperative, he has been surrounded by female students and journalists, which has led him to start a kind of game life, completely forgetting that he is a married man.
Luo Xiang expressed the view that the deepest pain of people is that it is difficult to cross the huge gap between knowledge and practice.
How could Feng Huacheng not understand that if he was unfaithful, he might lose Zhou Rong, and this woman who had been with him for 10 years, how could he not love her deeply?However, as a poet, if he loses faith in life, has doubts about poetry, and cannot find a solution, he will be left with only the walking dead. He sincerely hoped that his wife would comfort him, but his wife had already started a new chapter in her life, and she did not want to wait for his return any longer.
The hundred-line poems written by Feng Huacheng after the divorce are all to commemorate the deep affection between them.
According to Stoner, love is not the ultimate pursuit, but a journey through which one person wishes to get to know the other person more deeply.
In Feng Huacheng and Zhou Rong's 16-year married life, Zhou Rong has never really understood him deeply, because what she pursues is only the him in her heart. What Feng Huacheng pursues is only to play the role of "husband" perfectly.
On the day of their divorce, he hugged Zhou Rong tightly and burst into tears, as if he was a resentful woman. He hoped to get a touch and comfort from Zhou Rong, but unfortunately, Zhou Rong did not respond, she turned away and closed the door to spend time with them.
Recalling the time when he first returned to Beijing, when he was only in his thirties, his physical condition was like that of a seriously ill old man, and Zhou Rong was like a blooming flower. Although he returned to Beijing two months early, he is more of a real Beijinger than Zhou Rong.
This may be the best bounge for their future. His life is full of highs and lows, from top to bottom, while Zhou Rong has always moved forward bravely and without hindrance. Although he was revered by the people, he was also the one who suffered the biggest blows.
After the two officially ended their marriage, Feng Huacheng composed a poem of nearly 100 lines and published it in the newspaper entitled "My Cave Career". His poems were written a year before the divorce. In this long poem, he refers to Zhou Rong as his queen, and at the behest of Zeus, he descended to the earth to provide him with shelter;He also likened her to his own queen, commanded by God to do all good and bad things for him.
Zhou Rong is also vividly compared to a noble palace maid in "Life in the Arab Palace" painted by Italian artist Caravaggio, who is not only the embodiment of the goddess, but also willing to be a gentle, considerate and loyal maid by his side;She also compares herself to a woman who loves and doesn't love, love and hate. In the previous paragraph, he compares himself to Adam, who is favored by the queen, and in the next paragraph, he sees himself as the ruler of the cave and Zhou Rong as his adopted Eve. In the poem, he used the most concise language to describe the happy love life of the couple on both sides of the river of love. In the hundred lines, we can see the various emotions in the life of their couple, whether it is sadness or joy.
The poem blends the sensibilities of classical romanticism while also being closely connected to modern life. Despite its numerous accolades, only he knows that the marriage that once belonged to him and the deep and unforgettable love have now become forgotten memories.
In a marital relationship, those who progress quickly tend to move away from those who progress slowly, because it is in everyone's nature to explore the meaning and scope of life more deeply.
Feng Huacheng, the poet with a long history, although still unforgotten by the public, is destined to be marginalized and put in the spotlight. The first to bear the brunt was his wife Zhou Rong, who developed a deep dislike for him. Because if he can no longer win Zhou Rong's worship, then Zhou Rong will not be able to turn back.
Mr. Yang Jiang once expressed the view that not everyone has the opportunity to spend a lifetime with you, some people are more suitable for maturity and growth, some people are more suitable for living with you, and some people are more suitable to spend a lifetime to remember. You should firmly believe that there will always be an encounter, and it is a moment of mutual love and appreciation, like crossing the vast sea of people and moving forward bravely.
Feng Huacheng is obviously not a competent husband, but the real reason for the divorce is not obvious infidelity, but more importantly, they did not share a common outlook on life and values from the beginning. It's just the tide of this era, which incorporates the catalytic effect of many factors. If not, they may not last until 16 years and may even opt for divorce after two or three years.
Now that everything is in the past and right and wrong is no longer the most important thing, choose some beautiful moments as memories. After all, life is short, and leaving more sweet moments can make our lives easier and more enjoyable.
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