Hello everyone, I'm Jingjing, and I'm honored to be here to share with you some of the things I've experienced and felt, and I hope it will be helpful to you when making important family decisions.
Introduce yourself firstMy husband and I have a background in the management of large foreign companies, which caught up with the booming foreign companies in China in the past few years.
After the eldest was born, we started a business together and engaged in the maternal and child industry.
I have two children, one in high school in the United States and one in junior high school in ChinaIn the process of growing up with two children, especially during the time in the United States, I also completed the renewal and superposition of my career.
At present, I am a partner of an educational college counseling agency in the United States, and I am also a psychological counselor and family education instructor.
Why choose to go abroad or immigrate?
The reason for our family, I think it should be the reason for most families – for the sake of the children.
Our children live in a time that is 100 times more difficult than when we were younger.
They are always striving to meet or exceed the only standard, and they need to show their value by being better than others, and win attention and respect.
The fundamental goal of our human life is to be seen, to be worthy, and to be respected. The vast majority of adults may be achieved through cars and houses, and that child is achievement.
Grades are the only criterion for judging whether a child is smart or not, and whether they are excellent or not.
Actually, I agreed for a long time, because there is no way, everyone is like this. Psychology defines this mentality as herd mentality, which makes people feel safe and belonging.
So for my feelings, as well as my sense of worth (the sense of value comes from the fact that our Chinese parents and children are one, one is prosperous and the other is lost), our family has lived many years of dark days.
At that time, my solution was to change the track for the child:Go to the United States to study, the country with the most abundant educational resources and the most Nobel laureates in the world.
At that time, there were also opposing voices: Can China read well in the United States if it can't read well?It's gold that can shine in **, and I couldn't answer these questions at that time, so now I'll analyze it more clearly.
Every child is different, some children are serious and focused, and some are distracted or even handicapped, but they are full of curiosity, and the representative figure is Edison.
If these children don't suppress their nature, they can do great things in the future. There are also children who are proficient in mathematics, physics and chemistry, which is very suitable for the track in the system, and some children are not good, but they have rich imagination and strong empathy ability.
Empathy is the decisive ability to succeed in what you do in society in the future, from communicating with your boss to leading your team.
So if a child outside of these standard answers loses at the starting line, does he have to lose his whole life?
Can there be a different space to protect their nature?Let them still maintain their curiosity, imagination, and let them gain attention and respect with these precious natures.
We need to stretch out education, and don't make the mistake of thinking that winning at the starting line can win a lifetime.
Do you have to go abroad?My answer now: Of course not. Now I can digest all the stress and follow the rhythm and nature of the child.
But I couldn't do it at that time, the living environment we live in is a whole, you are influenced by others, and you are influencing others.
For example, you are influenced by Tiger Parents, Tiger Moms, Niu Wa Xueba, and then you go home and start influencing your children. That child has already felt that he is not excellent in his social group, and after returning home, he is negatively affected by his parents, so isn't that inferiority and rebellion?
I would like to say thank you to myself and my husband a few years ago, this decision changed the child's life and made him a teenager who is now confident, hardworking, and motivated.
Not only my children, but I have seen many children have made amazing changesWe have to admit the importance of the environment to a child, and it is difficult for an adult to be alone, let alone to a child.
Next, let's talk about a landing thing, the analysis of the admission situation in the United States and China.
There are 39 985 universities in China, and the acceptance rate is 167%, 211 is about 100, admission 475%。So let's take a look at the acceptance rates of the top 50 universities in the United States:
The world ranking of American universities, let me give you a rough data, American universities account for 60% of the top 100 universities in the world.
So to sum it up,Children can go to a better university in the U.S. than in China.
What does American education bring to children?
Next, I will share what American education is like, what it brings to children, and whether it can improve the problems mentioned above.
I believe that the core of American education is the following parts:
1. Respect that each child is an individual and recognize the differences of children
Almost all schools in the United States are stratified education, which is what we have always called individualized education. Each subject is divided into different levels, for example, if a child in the third grade is good at mathematics, then he can learn the fifth grade course
Then, on the contrary, there may be some children who are not good at mathematics, so they can learn slowlyAt a level that suits him, at a pace that suits him, he can also be a good student and also get an A.
You should have experienced, in addition to the quality of learning, but also the speed of learning, you have to keep up with the army, our education is challenging ourselves every day, those who fail to challenge have not had time to stand up and meet new challenges.
Parents will not see this, and will generally accuse their children of not being serious and not putting your mind to studying.
The hierarchical education is to slow down the speed and lower the difficulty, as long as you study seriously, you can get A, and if you get A, you will have more interest in learning, learning motivation, and a positive cycle will start.
It's a battle of yourself and yourself, and there is no harm without comparison.
2. The concept of subject education in the United States.
Again, take math as an example, because everyone says Americans are bad at math.
I'll give you an example, how do we learn mathematics, such as the square root formula, our exam content is to use formulas to use formulas, and flexibly deal with various deformation problems.
The United States is not, and its teaching focuses on how this formula came to be and how it was derived
The United States teaches the mysteries of mathematics, what it is used for, and what problems it solves.
If we stretch the whole educational stage again, in the later stages, in the high school and university stages,The mathematics of the Chinese did not win, and there were no mathematicians in the field of scientific research, we just ran early.
3. Critical thinking, critical thinking, American education encourages children to have their own independent ideas from an early age.
Let's go to the American homework, and the topics are "What do you think" and "Your point of view". When we were young, we both read history, and if we want to get good grades, we have to have a good memory.
When American children study history, they learn multi-faceted and multi-layered views on this historical event, and history homework is a small essay.
Because of critical thinking, children have the ability to think independently, rather than following others.
Next, I would like to quote a quote from my son: We read other people's books and learn other people's knowledge in order to generate our own ideas, and this is the meaning of thinking.
4. Protect curiosity and cultivate interest in learning.
In science, for example, laboratory classes are very important.
Then people will say that we also have experimental classes, the difference is that the American laboratory courses let you learn to invent your own experiments, what you want to prove, what you find, you use scientific and rigorous steps to design an experiment yourself and draw conclusions.
But we still try to reproduce a scientific conclusion through laboratory lessons.
5. A sense of social responsibility.
The school teaches children to give back to the society from an early age, which is also what the university admissions officer wants to examine, what is the purpose of receiving higher education, just to earn money to enjoy or to give back to the society.
The impact of emigration on individual families.
Next, I will take a look at the impact of emigration on the family and individuals.
First of all, it must be a decision about the whole family, and the family must also include children who are already sensible.
Most people's careers may be in China, so they may face the separation of husband and wife, have you been prepared for the future family life, division of labor and career?
Especially mothers, the mental and physical burden will be more。When encountering setbacks and difficulties, can the emotions be stabilized, because the child is watching from the side, and the mother who is emotionally broken brings darkness and fear to the child.
Don't look at what I'm talking about very lightly, in fact, these are all things I have experienced, but don't be afraid, any crisis is accompanied by a turnaround, and any pain is a prelude to transformation.
Here I would like to talk about my own transformation and awakening, which can be said to be a new departure.
Before going abroad, I was in a state of confusion and mid-life crisis, and in the same way, I still felt that I was not seen in my marriage and I felt worthless in my career.
I took the exam as a psychological counselor and a family education instructor in China, and I mustered up the courage to come to the United States alone with my boss to study.
In a new environment, there was a sense of rebirth from scratch, and I was constantly solving problems, which made me realize that I was very capable and I began to like myself.
While I was trying to solve the problem, my child was watching and becoming strong, hard-working, and positive.
Imitation is the most important way for children to learn, and it is 7*24 hours to feel you in all directions, so children will also become strong and hardworking.
Integration of new immigrants.
Finally, let's talk about the integration of newcomers.
First of allLanguage offOf course, you can also choose Irvine next to Los Angeles, where Chinese supermarkets, Chinese real estate agencies, Chinese doctors, Chinese banks, Chinese insurance brokers, etc. There, I don't feel like I need to fit in, it's all Chinese.
Then if you want to set a good example for your children, you can also go to ** school to learn English for free, as well as vocational training and employment, as long as you want, you can live a full life.
Looking at security issues and racial discrimination rationally, many people say that the United States cannot go, and the environment is very chaotic and poor.
It is true that the United States is not as safe as China, and you can't walk alone in downtown at night, and you can't leave valuable things in your car that you can see from the outside.
But the suburbs are very safe, especially good school district residences, quiet and very quiet, you can walk your dog at night, run, very comfortable community.
On the issue of racial discrimination,Racial discrimination is a very serious accusation in the United StatesIt's like we Chinese say: how do you spit and defecate everywhere, it is an accusation of no education and no quality, and no one dares to admit it in public.
So in case you are treated unfairly, you just have to ask:are you a racist?The other party basically stopped firing.
end-** U.S. Immigration Official Website.
Immigration