Ever since I was a child, I've been fascinated by the special hobby of collecting stamps. Whenever someone comes back from abroad, I can't wait to ask if they can bring me some stamps. My collection of stamps includes all kinds of landscapes, celebrity portraits, etc., and I always take pleasure in sorting them and then carefully binding them.
My wife, on the other hand, has been blind to this hobby of mine, which she considers to be a boring and time-wasting activity. I don't care about it, though, because I think everyone has something they like, and it's my personal hobby and has nothing to do with her.
However, some conflicts began to arise between my wife and my mom. One day, my mother suddenly said to me, "Two apartments for my son, and my son-in-law is not qualified." After saying this, she actually asked to cut off the pension and sent me away.
Faced with such a situation, I felt very shocked and incomprehensible. Because it seems to me that my mom and I have always respected each other and lived in harmony. But my mother's sudden decision left me feeling very lost and helpless. I knew there must be some kind of misunderstanding or contradiction behind this, but I didn't know how to solve it.
Fortunately, my wife mediated with my mom after learning that I was being sent away. The two of them talked for a long time, and finally found out the crux of the contradiction. It turned out that my mom didn't really dislike me, but because my wife misunderstood my mom's attitude towards my stamp collecting hobby, which led to an argument between the two parties.
My mom thinks I'm not doing my hobby, and my wife thinks I'm wasting my time. With the mediation of my wife, my mother finally understood my love for stamps and began to stop interfering with my hobby.
Although the matter has been resolved for the time being, the atmosphere at home is still a little awkward. I know that only time and understanding can allow these rifts to heal slowly. I hope that through communication with my family, everyone can understand each other, so as to reduce the occurrence of similar conflicts.
Because the harmony of my family is the most important thing to me, I hope that everything will gradually change for the better.
In the family, a conflict over maintenance has once again sparked conflict. Because during the days when I was kicked out by my mother, I cut off my pension, which made my mother feel seriously dissatisfied. She felt that I didn't care enough about her pension and thought it was a disservice to her. But I felt that she had put me in financial trouble by driving me out in the first place, so I didn't want to provide pension anymore.
This conflict made me feel very anxious. I understand that the issue of pension is always a very sensitive topic in Chinese families. But I felt aggrieved in my heart. It seems that in the family, family disputes cannot be completely avoided.
I had an in-depth discussion with my wife, and she asked me to let go of my childhood emotions and think more about my family. I also realized that communication between them was still insufficient. So I took the initiative to sit down with my mother and communicate together.
We talked a lot, I talked about my difficulties and grievances, and my mom talked about her loneliness and needs. Through this exchange, I gradually understood her plight, after all, she is an elderly person who needs love and consideration. I also understood that as a son, I should also think more about her.
The rift in my head hasn't gone away, and I can still feel the subtle tension between my family. However, I told myself that it was only a matter of time. However, the next paradox came.
It was a weekend and I invited some friends who were stamp collectors to my house, along with my mom and wife. At the meeting, we talked about the interesting things about stamp collecting and shared our thoughts with each other. Just as I was relish in showing you one of the rare stamps, my mom suddenly walked out with a displeased face.
I was confused and embarrassed and didn't understand why she was leaving at this time. My wife also seemed a little upset, and she thought that my behavior seemed to have caused my mother to misunderstand again. This incident of contradiction was not resolved as quickly as the last time, but spread in the house.
In the days that followed, I noticed that the atmosphere at home was getting more and more tense. My wife began to become reluctant to participate in any stamp-related activities with me, and my mother inadvertently showed rejection of my stamp collection. The focus is clearly not just about the stamps, but the contradictions hidden in each other's hearts.
This time, I have to go back to the source of the contradiction. Slowly, I discovered the source of some of the problems. It turned out that my mother's misconceptions about my stamp collecting were growing because she thought my love for stamps was a bad job. And the reason why my wife is becoming more and more repulsive about this hobby is because she feels that I have invested more time and energy than I care about the family.
This contradiction has always been latent in our lives. I knew I needed to find a way to solve this problem and bring the atmosphere back to my home. I realized that I needed to take more responsibility for this contradiction. Waiting to solve this long-standing problem.
Soon, the atmosphere in the house seemed to improve, and my wife and I returned to our normal lives. I found that my philanthropic philanthropy of stamp collecting seemed to be quietly being somewhat limited by the previous bickering. My wife apparently doesn't take my collecting hobby as openly as she used to, and sometimes even deliberately comes over to me while I'm sorting out the stamps, obviously trying to distract me.
At a family dinner, I mentioned my stamp collection to my family again, but my wife stood up angrily and said, "Can't you just change your hobby?"This stamp collection is of little use. I started to feel very uneasy, and I didn't understand why my hobby was the object of her emotions.
For a while, the atmosphere at home became tense again. My wife began to act more cold, and I was disillusioned. Maybe there is something wrong with what I did before, and I should have communicated more with my wife to make her understand my preferences instead of blindly insisting on my own position. I didn't know how to readjust the family atmosphere, and I was deeply confused and uneasy.
Hopefully, time will dilute all this and bring us back to a warm and harmonious family.
Soon, new conflicts arose in the family again. This time, it was because of my mom's health problems. She was getting old and began to have some inconveniences in life. My wife was very concerned about this and wanted me to arrange for my mom to go to a nursing home as soon as possible so that she could receive better care and attention.
However, I don't agree with this idea. I feel that no matter what, my mother has raised me for so many years, and now is the time when I should take good care of her. After all, the nursing home is an unfamiliar environment, and the mother is not very convinced of the idea. I hope to try to meet her requests so that she can enjoy her old age at home.
I tried to communicate with my wife in the hope that she would understand my thoughts. But her worries grew, she thought I couldn't take care of my mother wholeheartedly, and even doubted my sense of responsibility to the family. It hurts me because I've always done my best for my family.
This conflict has made our relationship even more strained. I know this is a difficult issue and I understand my wife's concerns, but I can't let go of my responsibilities to my mother. I hope to find a compromise that will resolve this issue and re-repair our relationship. I know that understanding and communication are the only way to solve problems. Hopefully we can get through this.