Many people judge the attitude of their predecessors based on what the other party says, and here I will popularize a point of view with youIt's just that what a person says can't be expressed accuratelytaof the inner thoughts.
Many people may not agree with this sentence, because in our normal thinking, we are all about what to say, for example, if you say that one plus one equals two at this time, it is very clear that one plus one equals two.
The reason for this illusion is the failure to distinguish between knowledge and emotionBasically, what we can express clearly is knowledge that is conceived by the brain. But when it comes to deeper emotions and feelings, it's hard to describe them in language.
I'll give you a very simple example, let's say you're sad at this time, and the word sad describes a feeling. Excuse me, do you think you are sad when you say it at this time, can the other party really understand what you are sad about?taI can understand the reason why you are sad, but it is difficult to understand your state of wanting to cry that you can't shake off.
The reason for the emergence of this phenomenon is actually related to follow-up, a long, long time ago, we humans did not have language, only some simple symbols, these symbols are to convey some intellectual content, for example, there are beasts in front of us, there are prey in front of us.
And then as our brains become more and more developed, we have more and more words, but the roots of these words are still conveying knowledge. In order to describe our emotional state, some emotional words have also been created, such as sadness and despair, which we can use these words and combine with our own experience to judge a state of the other person.
But it's just judging and analogy with this state, and it's hard to empathize with the other person's true feelings in the moment.
Having said so much, let's go back to our redemption, for example, many people always listen to their exes and never want to see you again, never want to talk to you again.
You really don't have to believe it, because the breakup is an emotional event, you don't look at how calm he is when he speaks, but his heart is likely to be chaotic, coupled with your harassment, the other party will want to escape from you under the influence of various factors, and will say those words.
But what he really thinks in his heart is very complicated, and it's not as simple as simply ignoring you, so I ask you not to be affected by your ex's words casually.
So how do you judge the true intentions of your ex?The answer is also very simpleJust to seetaacts.
Because a person's language can be inaccurate, but a person's behavior can easily reflect a person's true thoughts, for example, if a person is very afraid, there will be some trembling and so on.
In the same way, if your ex has you in his hearttaI can say that I don't like you, but taA lot of actions can't fool you.
Let's take a very simple example to illustrate, that is, many people will talk to their ex very well after a breakup, and the ex will often talk to you, but it is not good to get back together.
Many people don't understand this question, and they feel that the other party wants to break up ruthlessly, but have you ever thought that since you want to break up ruthlessly, it is completely possible to delete and block you, why do you want to engage in this kind of trick, giving you hope while disappointing you.
Then the answer is simpleThat's ittaIn fact, I want to get back together, but there are problems between you, so it leads to taThis kind of incongruous behavior exists.
So, if you look at the problem from this standpoint, you will find that you can understand the feelings of your exThen you will focus on solving the problem between you in the next recovery, rather than simply considering a compound answer.
In the process of recovery, I hope that everyone will develop a habit, that is, to look at each other's behavior more, and analyze it together with language, and you will grasp it more accurately.
Break up and salvage