Recently, the dispute between Dong Yuhui and Dongfang Selection has been in a uproar. When he was pulled out of a remote rural area in Shaanxi Province and admitted to Xi'an University of Foreign Chinese Studies by his own efforts, there were more people who supported him to challenge capital. Everyone said: "Now a noble son like Dong Yuhui is too rare." ”
Unconsciously, it seems to have become a social consensus that it is difficult to produce a noble son from a poor family. But as early as 2007, a documentary called "Father" revealed one thing: if children do not have a good future, they are inseparable from family education. 
The protagonist of the film, Han Shengli, like Dong Yuhui, was born in rural Shaanxi. With the hard support of his father, he struggled to read the book for four years. As a result, Han Shengli's income after graduation was only 600 yuan, which was not as good as his father who graduated from junior high school, which was embarrassing. Now 16 years later, the reason behind this is still worth pondering for all parents.
Rural children, borrowed money to go to college in 2002, the results of the college entrance examination were announced. Han Shengli from the mountainous area of Shaanxi Province was admitted to Xi'an Shiyou University majoring in communication engineering and became the first college student in the village. This good deed of honoring the ancestors made the Han family immersed in joy, and the father with a junior high school education was especially satisfied. 
When I filled out the application, my father heard that the communication engineering project would have a great future and that the graduates would have a monthly salary.
Four, five thousand, decisively choose this major for victory. However, carrying the hope of the whole family getting rid of poverty and becoming well-off only doubled the pressure on 18-year-old Han Shengli. To make matters worse, since communication engineering is a popular major with high technical content, the tuition fee for one year alone is as high.
Six or seven thousand dollars. Sending him to school was enough to bankrupt the Han family, which had been a poor peasant for generations. Shengli immediately wanted to give up his studies and go to work in the city. As a result, he was sternly rejected by his father: "Knowledge can change fate, I will solve the matter of money, you must go to college!.""But where does the money come from?
Shengli could only watch as the family's valuable things became less and less, and the grain saved over the years and the old ploughing cattle in the field were all sold by his father. Money, still not enough. My father had no choice but to keep his voice down, borrow money from relatives and friends for dozens or hundreds of yuan, scrape together thousands of foreign debts, and finally pay off his freshman year tuition. However, as soon as they took a breath, the two of them were about to start worrying about the living expenses of this year. The father, who was over sixty years old, decided to go to Xi'an with Shengli, and stayed there to work and earn money, so that he could not only take care of his son, but also supervise him to concentrate on his studies. After the start of school, Shengli learned that the tuition fee did not include the textbook fee, and everyone had to make up 700 yuan. This news was like a bolt from the blue. I can't even get a penny out of my family, so how can I get so much money?But how can college students go to class without textbooks?
When he saw his father again, Shengli hesitated for a long time and changed the wording repeatedly before he dared to mention the matter of making up the money. My father originally refused: "You buy less information!."But after listening to his son's painstaking explanation, he finally understood that this was the money that had to be paid. Looking at his father's solemn expression, Victory couldn't wait to slap himself. A few days later, a crumpled pile of seven hundred dollars in change was handed into Victory's hand. It was the father who put his hot face on his cold buttocks, pestered the workers to borrow money one by one, and begged the foreman to advance half a month's salary. "Take it. Holding the hot banknotes, Han Shengli felt that the burden on his body was getting heavier and heavier.
After four years of education university, the father and son were also in Xi'an, but the number of meetings was pitiful. When receiving monthly living expenses, Victory would go to his father. But my father only visited the school once in a few months, because the two yuan bus fare was too expensive for him. 
finally saw the above, and the topic of the two is always inseparable from money. During the meal, my father would kindly ask Shengli: "Is 200 a month enough for living expenses?"Victory drank the soup with his head down and replied, "That's enough." ”"Don't think about part-time work, it's too much of a waste of time, your task now is to study. Victory listened and nodded obediently. My father continued: "Don't eat too badly at school, and don't eat too well." This time he gave an "um" and counted as a reply. After eating, Lao Han took out the most precious account book in his arms, which was full of the money he borrowed for his son, opened it and read it aloud to Shengli one by one: "Uncle Man's one hundred, Cui Niu's fifty, Hong Qi's fifty, Li Weiwei's two hundred, fifty ......."The old man's face was filled with pride in sacrifice and dedication for his son, as if someone had awarded him the medal of "Good Father". Han Shengli always stood behind his father, hiding in his dark shadow, silent. 
Victory understands that all this money to maintain food and clothing is not easy to come by. As a son of man, he must study hard and live up to his father's painstaking efforts. But what he couldn't say was that the living expenses of 200 were not enough at all. In order to obey his father's orders and not find a part-time job, he had to pick up empty bottles at school and sell them for a dime. Every time he bent down on the side of the road, he bowed his head deeply, not daring to look into the eyes of the people around him. I finally picked up dozens of them, saved up today's food expenses, and won a big man, but he only ordered rice and two vegetarian dishes for each meal, and only opened meat once in a few days. 
His roommates were very sympathetic to him and would take the initiative to leave the empty bottle and give him idle clothes. But every time he gratefully accepted it, he felt even more inferior, and became more inferior and autistic. Under such conditions, even for the professional study of communication engineering, Shengli did not dare to open his mouth to buy computers and mobile phones. Moreover, my father was strongly opposed to the Internet, often saying, "Don't go online!".”
As a result, in the past four years, the number of actual machine operations of Shengli has lagged far behind the students of the same department. In the graduation recruitment season, he planted an unprecedented big heel.
After four years of looking forward to an empty school recruitment meeting, Han Shengli stood at the door with a blank face. Obviously, after finding a job, he will be financially independent, and he will no longer have to take his father's hard-earned money and carry a heavy sense of guilt, but he has not been able to take this first step. Looking back on the entire college career, the victory was spent in frugality, and every day just to earn living expenses, I was exhausted, how could I have the spare energy to think about finding a job?
So, he walked around the venue for two hours, never said a word, and threw out even a resume. This is also the most realistic portrayal of life in victory: silent, alone, average grades, and ordinary qualifications, it seems that no matter how you go, you are not very popular. When he finally mustered up the courage to take the initiative to participate in several interviews, he was not hired due to his lack of professional practice experience and inability to communicate with HR. In the end, a company in Qinghai was willing to hire him to lay cables there, but the salary offered was only 600 yuan. In other words, he worked hard for his undergraduate studies and earned less than his father moving bricks on the construction site.
Victory was devastated and he didn't know how to confess to his father. Before the official opening, Shengli worked hard to pave a lot, saying that communication engineering is now relatively saturated, and that the development of professional companies is not good. When he finally said the figure "six hundred a month", his father laughed mockingly. I don't know if I'm laughing at my son or laughing at myself. "It's okay, I didn't expect you to earn back the four-year tuition, as long as you work and study at the same time, I feel at ease. "It's rare for a father to be so gentle. But Shengli always lowered his head and did not dare to accept this warmth. He knew that in the days to come, as long as he did not meet his father's expectations, he would suffer from a torment of conscience. When his son left, the father finally said his truth in front of the camera:
I thought he would graduate from college and must be sitting in an office, working in front of a computer, blowing an air conditioner, but I didn't expect to still do hard work in the field. "I can still earn forty or fifty yuan a day by working, and he averages thirty yuan a day, which is not good. "I don't understand this communication project, it's not ideal anyway. ”The father sighed, and then continued to work on the construction site in order to help his son pay off the debt of 20,000 yuan from college. Three years later, Han Shengli's income rose to 1,500 yuan, but it was still far from his father's expectations.
In 2011, Han Shengli's father was asked: "Will you send your grandson and granddaughter to college in the future?"His answer has completely changed: "I don't think it's useful to read." How many parents are like Lao Han, who work hard to raise their children as a "poor second generation", blindly complaining that knowledge can't change their fate at all. As everyone knows, what is most lacking in poor families is not material, but cognition. There is a term in psychology called "tunnel vision", which refers to the fact that when people are poor or in need, they are like being trapped in a tunnel, and there is only a glimpse left in front of them. As a result, the poor old Han talked about money with Shengli, only about how much money the family lacked;Dig out your heart and lungs for your son, but use "settling education";Judging whether reading is useful or not, just see if you can make a lot of money. Narrow cognition is the mantra of every poor family.
When parents put it on their children's heads, he will be like Han Shengli, from life to study, he will be shrouded in a narrow shadow for a long time. It is difficult for children to develop cognition, and they can't see the opportunity for growth, and finally they will naturally go to the end of "it is difficult to produce a noble son from a poor family". To add insult to injury, the loss aversion that comes with poverty prevents many parents from loving their children wholeheartedly. As long as you feel that the investment in raising your child is too high, you can't help but ask your child to do what he wants and ask for something in return at a specific time. Parents who lack resources like to take all the money they have for their children, but they are not ready to bear the loss. Once the child fails to meet his high expectations, the parents can't accept the failure of the investment, so they scold him for "not being angry" and "embarrassing the family". This kind of education is undoubtedly toxic, and it is half the effort, making it more difficult for children to get ahead. There is a question on Zhihu: "It is said that it is difficult to produce a noble son from a poor family, as an ordinary mother, what can I do for my child?"The most praised answer below is: "A normal, warm, and relaxed childhood is actually the most precious gift you can give him." ”Education, in the final analysis, is a process of first becoming a talent. We might as well change the perspective, not only see the struggle of ordinary families, but also see the stability and beauty of ordinary people, and give children a happy childhood and a lot of love. After all, compared with money, love has more power, shaping a happy family and cultivating children with perfect personalities. Only such children can become talents and bring new hope to the family.