In the process of children's growth, many parents and educators have used this evaluation: "You are very smart, but you don't work hard." This phrase is frequently mentioned in many families, but few people are aware of the negative impact behind it.
Parents tend to take pride in their children's intelligence, but ignore the importance of nurturing their children's good XiXi habits. This "smart but not hard" assessment often makes children mistakenly believe that they don't need to put in a lot of effort to get good grades. This not only makes children relax their guard in their Xi, but also makes them have a negative attitude towards challenges and difficulties.
An example is Xiaoyu, a student whose mother is often dissatisfied with his Xi grades and thinks he is very smart, but just doesn't work hard. Xiao Yu also began to accept this point of view, believing that his intelligence could make up for his lack of effort in Xi, which became an excuse for his reluctance to put in the effort. This mentality makes it easier for him to choose to escape and give up when facing the difficulties of learning Xi.
To better understand why children develop a "smart but not hard" mentality, we can draw on the theories of educational psychology guru Carol Dweck on fixed mindsets and growth mindsets.
A fixed mindset believes that intelligence, talents, and abilities are fixed, and that success and failure are all proof of an individual's abilities. A growth mindset, on the other hand, believes that hard work, Xi, and cultivation improve intelligence and ability. Clearly, a growth mindset is more beneficial for developing children's positive Xi attitude towards learning and self-overcoming skills.
Xiaoyu's "smart but not hard-working" mentality is the embodiment of a fixed mindset. He thinks that a little effort is enough, and he doesn't need to solve Xi problems or face difficulties. And if he fails, he will see it as a manifestation of his personal ability.
To help children get rid of the "smart but not hard" mentality, parents and educators can try some of the following:
1.Emphasize the importance of "hard work": When praising your child for good grades, you should not only focus on the results, but also focus on praising the child's efforts, strategies, and persistence. For example, it can be said, "You put a lot of effort into this exam, and your persistence is really great." ”
2.Encourage a positive attitude towards failure and challenges: When children fail or encounter challenges, encourage them to see opportunities for growth and Xi learning, help them analyze the reasons for failure and learn from Xi, rather than giving up or getting frustrated.
3.Set appropriate challenges: Design appropriate challenges, neither too easy nor too difficult, based on your child's abilities and interests, to help them find a balance between success and challenge, and gradually build confidence in facing bigger challenges.
4.Visualize effort: Create a simple visual tool for your child, such as a progress bar, sticker chart, or achievement wall, to track their effort and progress. Such a tool motivates children and allows them to see the value of their own growth and efforts.
In short, our words and attitudes have an important impact on a child's development. By changing the way we evaluate our children and emphasizing the importance of hard work, Xi learning, and growth, we can help them develop a positive Xi attitude and a growth mindset that will better prepare them for Xi and challenges in life.