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Oedipus
In the tranquility of the counseling room, an anxious mother seeks answers.
She came for her son's psychological counseling.
The mother told the counselor: "My son is in his third year of junior high school this year, but he has an unusually close relationship with me and is very attached to me. ”
I didn't think anything of it before, but recently I learned a little bit about psychology, and I started to panic, because my son always told me about everything, and he had to go with me when he walked in the evening, and sometimes any girl in the class wrote to him and had a good opinion of him, and even what he said about a certain girl.
I'm worried right now: is my son related to the Oedipus complex?Is it abnormal that he is still so attached to his mother when he is so old now?
I don't know what I can do, and my wife sometimes gets angry that her son doesn't grow up.
What exactly are we going to do to make him grow up?
Oedipus complex
The mother-lover complex, the scientific name is the Oedipus complex. It is a term used by the psychoanalytic school in psychology. Derived from characters from Greek mythologyOedipus inadvertently kills his father and marries his motherMythical stories.
Both mother-lover and father-killer are Oedipus, he didn't know his parents, he killed his father by mistake in a game, and married his mother, and later learned the truth, he couldn't bear the pain in his heart, he stabbed his eyes blind, and exiled himself.
Psychology is used as a metaphor for people with mother-love complexes, who have a tendency to fight against their fathers to compete for their mothers, and at the same time have a tendency to self-destruct to relieve their suffering because of moral and ethical pressures.
Its outward manifestation is presented as a triangular interpersonal structure, ieThe individual himself, the beloved individual object, the enforcer (The taboo system) is accompanied by conflicting emotions such as love and hate, and fear.
The external conditions of its existence are the differences between the sexes and the taboos of human beings. The Chinese context is sometimes spoken"Mother-love complex" and "father-love complex".。If you want your child to get out of this situation, parents must do the following.
Find out what your child really thinks
Do you really know your child?
Every child is an individual, they have their own growth rhythm and growth code, and they have their own uniqueness.
Children have their own personalities and characteristicsSome are introverted and shy, while others have a cheerful personality.
If you want to really understand your child, understand his learning dynamics, and his inner thoughts about people or things, you can use "what if...... in communicationChanging roles leads to his preconceptions and opinions.
As parents, we should respect and listen to each child's voice, understand their interests, abilities, intelligence, temperament and character, and let them find their own self-worth.
Encourage your child to socialize with peers
For some introverted children, parents should encourage their children more.
In the process of interacting with others, children will slowly overcome their inner anxiety and fear, and will also learn some social skills.
Allowing your child to socialize more with his peers can gradually get rid of his over-dependence on his parents.
When there is friction between children and friends, parents should not rush to intervene, let children try to solve it on their own, and children's social skills will be improved.
This can help children gradually get rid of their excessive attachment to their mothers and enhance their social skills.
Give your child some time
If you also have a clingy little boy at home, you don't have to worry about your intimacy making him lose his manhood or be dependent on his mother all the time.
Because this psychological need to be intimate with their mother is a normal phenomenon in the growth of boys aged 3-5, marking that they have entered an important period of psychological development "Oedipus stage". ”
Every child has their own pace of growth. Sometimes, the child is only temporarily attached, and over time he gradually becomes independent.
We don't have to be too anxious, give the child some time and space, and he will grow up slowly.
Children are our hope for the future, and it is our unshirkable responsibility to guide them to grow up healthily.
When facing the child's Oedipus complex or other problems, we must deal with them with peace of mind and the right way. We believe that every child can thrive under our care and guidance!
We are both first-time parents, inexperienced and not perfect. But remember, that doesn't stop us from being the best parents we can be. We need to give more attention and companionship to our children's growth.
Because, every time you accompany you, it is a boost for your child's growth. Let's work together to sow the seeds of hope for our children's tomorrow and wait for the flowers to bloom.
I hope that every parent can educate their children through continuous learning, use scientific methods, discover their shining points, and let children become the people they want to become.