Marriage is one of the most important relationships in life, and it affects not only the happiness of two people, but also their family and society. However, many couples, after getting married, find themselves farther and farther away from each other, from the closest partner to the most familiar stranger or even enemy. Why is that?There are many people online who have shared their experiences and opinions, so let's take a look.
When in love, two people always have endless words and endless topics, even if they have just separated, they still feel that there are many things they want to say to each other, and some things have been said many times, but every time they say it, they still feel so interesting and sweet. But after getting married, the lives of the two people have become dull and trivial, work, housework, children, money and other issues, so that they have no mood and time to communicate and chat. They gradually lose the interest and motivation to understand and care for each other, and also lose the ability and opportunity to express and listen to each other's feelings and ideas. They have built high walls in their hearts, adopting an attitude of not taking the initiative, not communicating and not refusing, wrapping their true selves and coldly rejecting each other.
Such couples are prone to misunderstandings and conflicts, because they don't know each other's thoughts and needs, and they don't know how to satisfy and please each other, let alone how to solve and resolve problems. Their marriage is only a formal "union", "together", and the real intimate connection is lost emotionally. Although the two of them face each other every night and share the same bed, the distance in their hearts is getting farther and farther away.
When in love, two people always feel that the other person is their soulmate, has similar values and lifestyles, or at least can respect and tolerate each other. But after getting married, the differences and differences between the two people are exposed, and they find themselves and each other different in many ways, even opposites. For example, one likes to be quiet, and one likes to be lively;One likes to be frugal, one likes luxury;One likes tradition, one likes innovation;One likes freedom, one likes constraints, and so on2.
Such couples are prone to conflict and quarrels, because they do not understand and accept each other's choices and preferences, and are not willing to compromise and coordinate with each other, let alone change and adapt with each other. Their marriage is just a kind of material "sharing" and "sharing", and the real consensus and fit in concept have been lost. Although two people live together and consume together, the direction of their hearts is becoming more and more different.
When in love, two people always feel that the other person is their favorite, with a strong sense of attraction and intimacy, or at least able to appreciate and like each other. But after getting married, the relationship between the two people became dull and boring, and problems such as work, housework, children, money, etc., made them lose their passion and temperature, and even became tired and disgusted. They gradually lose the feeling of loving and being loved, as well as the behaviors and opportunities for intimacy and interaction. Their bodies are all indifferent, adopting an attitude of not taking the initiative, not refusing, not enjoying it, suppressing their own needs, and treating each other coldly3.
Such couples are prone to emptiness and loneliness, because they do not feel each other's care and warmth, nor do they feel their own value and meaning, let alone the happiness and satisfaction of marriage. Their marriage is just a kind of physical "satisfaction" and "excretion", and emotionally they lose their true passion and warmth. Although the two of them occasionally ** and occasionally hug, the sparks in their hearts are getting less and less.
Marriage is a relationship that needs to be managed and maintained, and it is not something that can be left to be left to rest and neglect. Many couples become strangers or even enemies after living a life, mostly because they do not work hard to communicate, coordinate, and intimacy, but let their marriage go to indifference, conflict, and emptiness. Such a marriage not only makes yourself miserable, but also makes the other party miserable, and makes the child miserable. If you don't want your marriage to be like this, then you have to change it in time, save it, and rekindle it. You need to communicate more with your partner, understand and meet the other person's thoughts and needs, and also express and fight for your own feelings and ideas;You need to coordinate with your partner, understand and accept each other's choices and preferences, and compromise and collaborate with your own choices and preferencesYou need to be more intimate with your partner, feel and give each other care and warmth, and also enjoy and create your own value and meaning. Only in this way can you fill your marriage with intimacy, consensus, passion, and happiness for both you and your partner.