In modern society, why are more and more 50-year-old women distancing themselves from their partners?I'm 50 years old, married to my partner for 28 years, and we've been separated for 20 years.
Last week, he suddenly came back into my life, and I thought I would have the joy of being reunited after a long absence, but now I don't seem to be interested in being with him.
Once upon a time, one of the hotly debated topics online was "What are the benefits of getting married?"."For me, being married for nearly 30 years seems to have little benefit, but it has been troublesome.
Now that my children have started a family, I decided not to swallow my anger anymore. When I was young, my husband worked outside the home, and he could only go home for half a month during the Chinese New Year. In order to live a better life, he is away all the year round, and I am alone at home to take care of my eight-year-old son, farm more than five acres of land, and raise two pigs and a flock of chickens.
I was responsible for all the housework, and my in-laws at that time, for some reason, were very indifferent to me, and even separated us from the family, and the children did not help with it.
Even though my husband sends me money every month, I don't dare to splurge it because I have the same goal as he is, which is to save more money, and when we have enough money, we can build a new house so that we don't have to go out to work anymore.
During the busy farming season, I always look forward to my husband's return, because I can't do the work of plowing and raking the fields. I had to go and plant rice for others in exchange for half a day of plowing the fields for me.
Although I usually watch other people's husbands take their wives and children to the streets, which makes me a little envious, but this is just a small thing. However, once the farming season came, I felt nervous and scared, because most of the work in the fields was heavy physical work, which was difficult for me, a weak woman, to do.
I have asked my husband many times to come home and help out when he is busy with the farm, but he always asked me to discuss au pairs with my neighbors or told me that it was not easy to take time off. Therefore, I kept persuading my husband to come home in my dreams, and I also cried bitterly in my dreams.
Later, my son was admitted to the high school in the county, and I decided to rent the land to someone else, and then go to the city with my son to accompany him. At the same time, I got a job in the cafeteria of my son's school, and although the pay was not high, at least I didn't have to work hard to farm.
A year later, I bought a house in installments with the money my husband sent home. I couldn't stand this separation anymore and persuaded my husband to get a job. My husband told me that now I have to pay off the mortgage every month, and I have to prepare for my son's college tuition, and my son will spend a lot of money to work and get married in the future, so we will hold on for a few more years, and when the child gets married, I will come back and live a normal life with you.
I began to gradually calm down and no longer eagerly expect his care and help. I no longer confide in him about my troubles, because he always asks me to deal with it on my own because of his busy schedule.
I started to lose faith in him, I didn't expect him to come back, I felt more relaxed when he wasn't there.
Originally, I expected him to return to share the housework and talk about his heart, but every time he returned, it brought endless troubles. He likes to go out to drink and play cards with his friends during the New Year's holidays, and he doesn't care about anything at home.
In the past two years, it may be the cause of menopause, often mood swings, chest tightness and shortness of breath, irregular menstruation, especially insomnia all night long, extremely uncomfortable, feeling that life has fallen into a trough, and feeling lost about the future.
I finally got through the most difficult time, but my husband came back. When he didn't come back, everything was fine at home. But in less than a month, the house was in a mess, his clothes and shoes were thrown everywhere, he didn't have to worry about anything when he came home except eating and sleeping, and he didn't even bother to change the water on the water dispenser.
I was both disappointed and disgusted with him. Eventually, I got a job washing dishes and didn't leave work until half past nine in the evening. This way I spend less time with him, I don't have to cook for him during the day, I come back at night to wash and sleep, and I don't bother to talk to him.
And he was not in a hurry to find something to do, he hugged a quilt and put it on the sofa, lying there every day, turning on the TV and brushing his mobile phone, saying that he was too tired to be out all these years, and he wanted to enjoy it and then consider finding a job.
Whatever you want, I'll go to my class, you watch your TV, as long as you don't let me serve you three meals a day, you can do whatever you like. People have lived for half a lifetime, and they have worked hard to keep a family to survive a good life, but they didn't expect the relationship between husband and wife to become strangers, which really makes people wonder how to live a marriage in such a state where no one needs anyone anymore, how sad.
Finally, I advise those friends who are separated from each other to end their separation as soon as possible, even if they can't end their separation early, they should communicate more and be more considerate of each other's difficulties.
In the family, both parties participate, don't let one party chill when you need you. I would like to ask you if you have ever felt this way, welcome to talk in the comment area.