We have three children in our family, aged 7, 4 and 3.
Over the years, my teammates and I have taken care of our three children, and there is no elderly help, and we have not hired a nanny.
Caring for three children on my own is extremely hectic, but there is one takeaway that I never expected:
Since we have limited time and energy to cover everything, we choose to let go and ignore many small issues.
Don't worry too much about the little things, give the child freedom in the little things :
If your child wants to step on a puddle, put on rain boots and jump in the water!
If you want to play with mud, then go and play, and wash your clothes when they are dirty.
If you accidentally spill the milk, go find a rag and wipe it.
If you want to cut paper and do handicrafts, you can play to your heart's content, and the shredded paper will be clean.
If you drop a bunch of food scraps on the table, then clean up with your children.
It's normal for children to do something bad, after all, growing children are not perfect. This may be a parent's homework, learn to "endure", don't hold on to the child in small things, and nag when you see their shortcomings. In fact, as long as it is not a matter of principle, there is no need to consume children too much in small things. Instead of staring at your child's little problems, focus on the things they don't do well;It is better to focus on the child's shining point to discover and amplify their strengths. 
Let go of the little things and avoid internal friction in the family
Nowadays, many children live in the fear of being blamed at any time: if they accidentally drop some food on the table during a meal, they will be blamed by their parents: "Sitting badly, wasting food." If you accidentally bump into it while walking, you may be ridiculed: "Don't you have eyes?"Walk without looking at the road. If you accidentally knock over the water glass, you will inevitably be reprimanded: "Why are you so careless, you will cause trouble to your parents." If you accidentally make a typo, you will be labeled: "Doing things is always so-so, what can you do in the future." If the writing is crooked, you will be reprimanded: "The writing is messy, and the dogs write better than you." ”
These words sound very depressing, and if a child does something bad, it is like making a big mistake, and it must be inevitable "an education". Parents want to correct their children all the time, in the name of making them grow and improve. However, I always keep an eye on my children's little faults and want to reason and correct them every day. In the long run, there will inevitably be internal friction in the family. If you put all your energy into small things, how can you still have the energy to get better, and how can you still have the strength to do more important things.
Moreover, these so-called reminders are often negative, and adults constantly guide children to notice their own shortcomings. Children are originally happy, and as parents, we should not shift our children's focus from happiness and beauty to those depression and negative things again and again. Instead, we should pass on a positive attitude to our children and encourage them to be optimistic and positive in any situation.
I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was about 20 years old, and when I was not very proficient, I practiced Xi alone in the square. There were a few small pillars on the edge of the square, and as I rode tremblingly, I tried my best not to crash into them, but my eyes were fixed on them. It turned out that I hit the small pillar impartially. Later I realized that when I set my sights on the trail I wanted to ride, I would be able to avoid the pillars and ride on the right trail.
The same is true in our lives, if we keep our focus on the things we want to avoid, the more we don't want to happen, the more likely it is to happen. Think differently, take your eyes off your child's small problems, and don't consume too much of your own energy and your child's energy on small things. Putting our attention on the more important things, on what we are looking forward to, and where our eyes are often where we are about to arrive.
Even more terrible than doing something wrong is the denial from your parents
Seeing what their children are not doing well, parents can't help but want to blame, and unconsciously, they put a lot of labels on their children. "How can you be so careless, always make mistakes. ”
Why are you so selfish and don't know how to share. ”
Why are you so timid and don't dare to express yourself. ”
Why don't you always have a long memory, and you always do the wrong thing. ”
What is more lethal than the criticism of the outside world is the negation from the parents. This sentence may seem like a reminder to the child, but it will actually make them more and more frightened and uneasy. Because children will feel that they are always unable to satisfy their parents, in the long run, they will doubt themselves, and even think that they are incurable children, and finally simply mess up. Parents have good intentions and want to push their children to correct their deficiencies and become better. However, the chatter and accusations have instead become a burden to the child. What is more powerful than accusation is to give children affirmation, so that children can truly feel the recognition and appreciation from their parents. "My kids are really good. This is the "label" that parents should put on their children. Affirmation from parents is a booster for children's growth.
* There are children who do not make mistakes, and it is important for children to learn how to solve problems. When you see your child spilling milk, don't scold them, but tell them that they should take a rag to wipe them at this time.
When you see a mess in your child's room, don't blame them, but suggest that they should start tidying up their room.
Seeing that the child can't calm down to learn Xi, don't nag first, try to let go of *** child and a classmate Xi.
Don't blame when you encounter problems, focus on how to solve problems, and guide children to solve problems. The duty of parents is never to constantly "suppress" their children, but to empower them and lift them up.
Don't interfere too much with your child and allow them to do what they like
The other day, I received a ** from my 3-year-old son's kindergarten teacher. The son is standing in a huge puddle of water, which is knee-deep. He walked happily in the water, surrounded by many children who were playing wildly, and he could feel their happiness through the screen. If it was before when I saw such a **, I would definitely be unable to help screaming and angrily reprimanding the teacher's behavior. However, now, I sigh from the bottom of my heart that foreign teachers really understand children's hearts, and can always find the things that make them the most happy, so that children can release their nature to the fullest. 
Having lived in the Netherlands for nearly 15 years, I have met too many "blind" parents and teachers. I once saw a child under the age of one lying on the ground playing with mud and puddles in the playground, with dirty mud on his clothes and face, but the parents just stood by and watched kindly. When I picked up my children from school last week, the temperature was close to below zero that day, and a few two- and three-year-old children who accompanied their parents to pick up their older siblings played with fallen leaves at the school gate, picking up wet leaves with their bare hands and playing, their little hands were red from the cold, but they giggled non-stop. Parents stand aside calmly, regardless of whether it is dirty or cold. Last summer, my 7-year-old brother's school also organized a colorful Songkran Festival, where colored water mixed with paint was sprinkled on the children, and the children were covered in color, wet and dirty, but the children were really happy.
The parents and teachers here seem to be relieved of all this, and it doesn't matter if it rains for a while, treads on water for a while, gets their shoes a little wet, and gets their clothes dirty. It's even more important for the child to have fun enjoying it. I think of "Peppa Pig", where Peppa and George both love to jump into mud pits, and Daddy Pig and Mother Pig often join in, and even a family of four lying in the mud puddle laughing together. In the words of Daddy Pig, what does it matter, it's just mud. yes, it's just a little dirty, just wash it, these are not big deals.
Write at the end
Children are happy, children know how to make themselves happy, they can have the ability to perceive happiness, and that's the important thing.
So, let go of the little things that aren't important!Embrace imperfect children as they grow. Give your child the freedom and space to explore and grow in their own way. Encourage them to pursue what they love and nurture their interests and strengths.
Let go of the little things that don't matter, let go of yourself and let go of the child. Focus on the good and important things, and work in that direction with your child. Those small problems will be solved with time and growth. Believe in children, believe in beauty, and look forward to a brighter and brighter future with children. Minimalist living