Xiaoqiang only scored more than 60 points in the exam again today, and his mother was furious when she saw the results. Xiaoqiang grew up in the anger of his mother, lost confidence in his studies, and his grades plummeted.
Parenting experts believe that children's learning attitudes and grades largely depend on the parent's education style. Only when parents are patient enough can they raise excellent children.
There is a joke in the documentary "The World Could Have Been Better" about a child who did not do well in exams and was severely beaten by his parents. The child, who later became a murderer, said, "I always remember the day I was a child, and it was as if I was dead."
A childhood that can never be forgotten will firmly mark a child's life.
When a child fails, what is needed is not the anger of the parents, but the listening;Not punishment, but encouragement;Not negative, but trusting.
Yang Jiang once said: "The best gift of parents to their children is not wealth, but patience;Not criticism, but encouragement;It's not about asking for perfection, it's about embracing all. ”
Patience is the most important lesson in parenting.
Swallow your anger and learn to communicate calmly with your child.
The story is about a dad who pours a box of nails into a glass bottle and tightens the lid.
This is what you look like when you're angry. ”
Dad explained that when you just pour them in, you can pour them out slowly. But when you're angry, it's like tightening the lid and the nails are all stuck.
At this point, even if you want to pour, you can only squeeze out a few. The rest is stuck in it forever.
In life, between parents and children, there is often such an "inverted nail" situation.
The child's behavior of going to the house to uncover the tiles angered the parents. In a fit of rage, the parents scolded the child and poured a box of nails into the child's heart.
When parents vent their anger and calm down, they want to communicate well with their children and pick out those "nails". But often it's too late, and the nails have already been planted in the child's heart one by one.
Listening calmly is more effective than yelling loudly.
The louder you scold, the more your child will be silent against you. The more angry you are, the more your child will retaliate against you with rebellion.
On the contrary, listen to your child's voice and try to think from your child's point of view, and you will find that many conflicts can be resolved.
A mother shared her experience that her daughter had just entered junior high school, her grades had dropped badly, and she always didn't like to do her homework.
The mother was furious and confiscated all the *** of her daughter
But the daughter not only did not admit her mistake, but became even more lazy, looking like a dead pig who was not afraid of boiling water.
Once, the mother couldn't stand it anymore and was ready to talk to her daughter, so she calmly asked her daughter: "Tell your mother, why don't you love to do homework?"”
The daughter said sullenly: "There is too much homework, I can't remember so much knowledge, I feel bored." ”
Mom now realized the crux of the problem. It turned out that it was not that her daughter didn't like to learn, but that the learning content was beyond her ability, which caused her to be uninterested.
The mother then said to her daughter, "Well, Mom understands you." Let's try something else, reduce the amount of homework, but try to do the necessary parts every day, is it okay?”
The daughter finally smiled, nodded and said, "Well, I can try." ”
Since then, the mother has spoken to her daughter in a gentle way, and her daughter's learning attitude has gradually changed, and her grades have also improved significantly.
So, don't always think about yelling at your child, and don't try to suppress your child through authority. When you listen calmly to your child's true thoughts, the problem becomes clear.
Inside every child, there is a room that needs to be entered by parents. The door reads, "Please please."
When parents pat and listen with their hearts, children will naturally open the door to greet them.
With time to water, I believe that the child will grow up slowly.
In The Wisdom of Children, Mo Yi Lao wrote: "Trees need time to grow, and children also need time to grow. Don't be anxious, and don't worry. ”
Parents are always impatient and want their children to grow up and open up immediately.
Once the child's progress does not meet expectations, parents are anxious, either criticizing or scolding.
As everyone knows, children's growth takes time to precipitate.
Confucius said in his later years: "I have five out of ten and am determined to learn, thirty and stand, forty and not confused, fifty and know the destiny of heaven, sixty and obedient, seventy and do what I want." ”
He divides a person's growth into different stages, starting with the determination at the age of 15, and after decades of accumulation, he can finally learn to follow his heart without exceeding the rules.
Every child also needs such a long accumulation process to grow into an adult with a strong heart and no confusion.
But parents often expect their children to succeed overnight.
The English writer Herbots George Wells once said, "All you have to wait patiently for in your life will come to light." ”
The same is true for children. When you give your children enough time and space, they will eventually blossom on the way.
Give your child more to wait and blame lessGive your child more time and less criticismGive your child more trust and less supervision.
Every child has infinite possibilities.
When parents water with time and love, children will slowly grow up and bear their own fruits.
Understand your child and replace denial with encouragement.
Many parents like to use "sigh education" and often sigh that their children are not.
I'm lazy again!"I can only play again!"It's playing in my head!”.
The sighs of parents are like a slap in the face to the child's fragile heart.
As everyone knows, parents' denial will seriously hit their children's self-confidence.
In the book "Parents' Misunderstandings", it is mentioned that the denial of parents will make children think that they are useless and lose their vitality in life from an early age.
On the contrary, the encouragement of parents will fill children with positive energy.
Guo Degang said that his grades were very poor when he was a child, and he was often reprimanded by teachers.
After only scoring more than 30 points in a monthly exam, he went home dejected, for fear of being beaten by his parents.
Unexpectedly, the parents opened the test paper and saw a big word "pass", and said happily: "Son, you finally passed, great, we have a good meal tonight!".”
The encouragement of his parents instantly lit up the star in Guo Degang's heart. This gave him the courage and motivation to keep trying.
Every child craves the approval of their parents.
When you say "you can't learn" in a pessimistic tone, your child really can't learn.
When you say "you can" in an optimistic tone, your child will dare to try and challenge himself.
So, don't always catch your child's faults, but find out more about your child's strengths.
Replace negative negativity with positive encouragement, and children will thrive in the sun.
Saying, "I believe in you," is more effective than preaching.
Life must be happy, don't make the gold bottle empty to the moon. ”
Li Bai's "Will Enter the Wine" is a classic of classical Chinese textbooks.
But there was a junior high school student who was not interested at all.
His parents were furious about it and forced him to recite it.
The child was forced by the pressure of his parents to recite it over and over again, but the more he vested it, the more annoyed he became, and he became more disgusted with classical Chinese.
As everyone knows, the distrustful attitude of parents will only backfire.
On the contrary, the trust of parents often miraculously stimulates the child's endogenous motivation.
There is a junior high school student Xiao Zhang, whose grades have always been ranked last.
On one exam, he unexpectedly got a passing grade.
That night, his father said to him in a rare way: "Son, I believe that you can work your own and be admitted to high school." ”
A simple affirmation gave Xiao Zhang great confidence.
Since then, he has developed an unprecedented interest in his studies, and his grades have skyrocketed, and he finally got into the high school of his dreams.
Later, someone asked him the reason for his success, and Xiao Zhang said:
I'll never forget my father's 'I believe in you'. It was this sentence that changed me and made me find self-confidence. ”
It turns out that the trust of parents has so much magic.
It can ignite the spark in the child's heart and light up the starry sky of the child's life.
So, instead of nagging your child "what should be", say "I'm sure you can do it."
Inspire children with trust, which is worth a thousand words.
Give your child a gift beyond knowledge.
Parents should not only give their children knowledge, but also give their children more important things.
That is – patience, encouragement, and trust.
Parents Misconceptions is written in the book
The best gift a parent can give to a child is not wealth, but patienceNot criticism, but encouragement;It's not about asking for perfection, it's about embracing all.
Parents' time and care are the most valuable spiritual food for children's growth.
A child may not be able to learn well for a while, but as long as his parents give him patience and love, he can grow up slowly.
On the contrary, even if a child is knowledgeable, if he lacks the care of his parents, it will be difficult for him to grow into a healthy and upward person.
Therefore, when your child encounters difficulties in learning or life, do not only give him knowledge, but also give him trust, encouragement and care.
These are the nutrients he needs most to grow up.
Listen to the child patiently, water the child with time, awaken the child's inner strength with encouragement, and believe that the child will slowly get on the right track and move towards the light.
A child is like a pot of flowers, which needs to be watered by parents with love and patiently cared for in order to bloom gorgeous flowers.
When you give your child enough patience, one day, you will see the beautiful flowers that your child grows up.