Hello wow, I'm Eun Xiaoxi.
Time flies so fast, and the third season of "Goodbye Lover" has already come to an end.
The most eye-catching of the guests in this divorce is undoubtedly the well-known emotional blogger · Famous Debater · Gender Golden Sentence Making Machine Fu Seoul.
Her husband Lao Liu tearfully revealed all the pain he swallowed in his marriage, and he also sent himself to the hot search.
In the last episode, neither of them gets out of the car.
An emotional blogger who is good at outputting marriage golden sentences is actually getting divorced, is it really "can heal but not self-heal"?
She often shows affection in various programs, and even said that her marriage is a top-match marriage, and it is impossible to have a better marriage, why did she take a sharp turn and come to the step of divorce?Fu Seoul and Lao Liu are relatively rare "male protagonists inside, female protagonists outside" marriage model, Lao Liu's full-time househusband is in charge of housekeeping, and Fu Seoul is working hard outside to make money. In the long run, Lao Liu felt that he had no life of his own. So what was his life like?The program filmed Lao Liu's day: getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning and driving an hour's car to send his children to school. When I came back, it was already past 10 o'clock in the morning. Then Lao Liu will swipe his mobile phone, have a meal, take a lunch break, and then get up to pick up the children from school. The rest of the time, he usually spends his time wandering aimlessly by the river. 
In his 40s, he didn't have to work, he kept being a child under the protection of his wife, and his daily life was to use his wife's hard-earned money to buy and raise flowers to practice calligraphy, no need to maintain his figure, no need to serve his father-in-law, and he was so idle that he had nothing to do and go to the park. Lao Liu cried:After my wife's career took off, I had no sense of existence. When he cried, the stay-at-home mothers in the world were even more sad than him, "If a full-time wife lives his kind of life, she will wake up with a smile in her dreams." "What kind of life?“Husband "can make money, he doesn't dislike you, he doesn't have to do housework, he doesn't have to go to work, he just needs to send his children to and from school." Yes, full-time mothers just get up early and take care of the family and save money from between their teeth, but Lao Liu lives a miserable life!What's more, although Lao Liu is lying down, in the eyes of everyone, he cannot be called a qualified househusband. There is a nanny to do the housework, all kinds of tossing and investing have failed, I can't even understand the size of the repair, waste money, and always mourn and can't provide emotional value. If Fu Seoul is a man, she should be worthy of the Taimiao:If you want money, you have money, you have talent, and you don't cheat and mess around. I really don't know how many stay-at-home mothers want to line up to marry "him". 
The 25-year-old Xiao Fu sat on the back of Xiao Liu's bicycle, believing that even if there is no money now, as long as they work together after marriage, life will get better and better. But ten years have passed, fate has turned, Fu Seoul's career has soared, but Lao Liu has no income at home with his children, and his three ventures have all failed. Fifteen years later, they bought a big villa in Shanghai, Lao Liu drove a luxury car, had a nanny, and the children were older. There was no quarrel, no cheating, and the result was that I couldn't go on. 
One runs fast, the other spins in place;One is high-spirited, the other is depressed. The rhythm and frequency are different, and naturally there is no common language. When they are young, the two are quite compatible, and the woman needs a calm, safe, and stable relationship that the man can provide and is willing to provide. The two used to be in the same rhythm, and their common goal was to run a small family well and strive for a better standard of living. When Fu Seoul's career development has more possibilities, his personal ambitions gradually grow, and the two sides form a "female protagonist outside, male protagonist inside" mode of getting along, the common goals of the two began to blur, more Fu Seoul is pursuing self-realization, and Lao Liu is closing himself in confusion. It is not clear who is responsible for this unbalanced marriage, but it is more of a loss of control beyond the expectations of the parties:When women have more opportunities to display their personal ambitions, the will to self-realization has become an unstable factor in the traditional marriage structure, and how to face new challenges has become an unavoidable proposition. 
Although it was Lao Liu who wanted to be on the show, in the end, everyone could see that it was Fu Seoul who really wanted to divorce this marriage, many people didn't understand Fu Seoul's motives for divorce, and felt that Lao Liu was so good, in the end, it was in the way, so he hastily attributed it to - Fu Seoul's character is not good, and he can't look down on Lao Liu when he is rich, she she, the female version of Chen Shimei!As everyone knows,She used her personal struggle to tell the ignorance and unconsciousness of the first half of her life shared by women of that generation, and the afterthought of being awakened by the waves in the second half of her life. Fu Seoul got married at the age of 25, and many people asked her why she got married early, but she couldn't answer"When I was in my twenties, everyone around me was getting married. Will people not get married?”Speaking of these, Fu Seoul suddenly burst into tears. 
It wasn't until she was approaching the age of forty and had been a wife and mother for more than ten years that she suddenly woke up in the voices of all kinds of women's awakening:It turns out that people don't have to get married. It turns out that being single can also be a good option. It's just that waking up always comes with a little regret and overwhelm that is too late. When she woke up, the marriage had been integrated into her blood, the children had grown up, and she had to spend a lot of courage and price to break free and give up. The traditional mantra continues to exert its strength, and new voices are calling. She even began to reflect on herself: should I not wake up, should I not pursue myself and freedom? "If I weren't such a person, my marriage would really be happy until I grew old. ”
I think,This is a division shared by that generation of women, suffering from the numbness of the past and the sobriety of the present. They grew up in an era when they didn't know what feminism was, and when they were in their twenties and thirties, they stepped into marriage with one foot, thinking that a woman's life was married life. When I was forty or fifty years old or even later, I found that the world left by marriage to women was too narrow, and their other foot could not help but follow themselves to a bigger world. It is far more than Fu Seoul who has to break free from marriage over the years. 
Female celebrities have set off a wave of divorce, thanks to the changes in women's ideology in recent years. At the same time, their awakening has also pushed the tide forward. When a female star divorces, we no longer say "it's a pity", but "congratulations". Not to say that "divorce is the best medical beauty for women", at least, it is a turning point for them to start a new life. Urging marriage has also become an old-fashioned and untimely daddy behavior. 
Yu Feihong's celibacy speech finally no longer seems shocking. Qin Lan, who is still unmarried, said, "What does it matter to you whether my uterus is used or not", "I am still thinking about why men don't get pregnant, and I can also support my family". Everything makes marriage no longer a necessary choice in life, and has become the consensus of some women. When women open their minds and empower themselves, they will find that the so-called marriage anxiety and childbirth anxiety are all collective unconscious lies that cannot withstand any scrutiny. We shouldn't have been on track, we could have gone into the wilderness. Fortunately, change is happening.
To a certain extent, this is definitely the first time that a domestic film and drama series is so delicately and intuitively displayed-"Men are also victims of patriarchy".
Although his wife let Lao Liu live in a big villa, hired a nanny for him, and asked him to accompany the baby full-time, Lao Liu could not enjoy his wife's dividends like many full-time wives after all. To put it bluntly, our society is still a patriarchal society, and the tragedy of the so-called "strong women and weak men" is actually that women have gone to society, while men are unwilling to return to the family. You can't just blame Lao Liu, the feudal patriarchal culture of patriarchy has been the subconscious of East Asian people for thousands of years, and both men and women suffer from it. The obsession with patriarchy has long been carved into the bottom of values, not only can people trample on each other, but in the end it will make them look down on themselves, this "powerful" iron chain not only ties women, but also ties men. Whether it is Fu Seoul or Lao Liu, this kind of role arrangement of the male protagonist inside and outside the female protagonist is still twisted from the heart.
Lao Liu's predicament is the real marriage dilemma faced by countless women. It's just that when this dilemma happens to women, men don't care, and only when they themselves experience this dilemma themselves, the dilemma becomes a dilemma. When the wife goes out into society and earns more than 10 men, he will either be as good as her and keep pace with her, or he will retreat to the family, let go of hypocrisy and self-attack, and find a peaceful and self-consistent self. Since the editor-in-chief of **, Brother Wu Fly, said that "Goodbye Lover" has been engaged in 3 seasons, and each season is in **The same two problems:One is the decline of machismo. The second is that there have never been modern women, not modern men, so they have not been able to form a modern marriage relationship. In old-school marriages, the man is naturally the oppressive party, because the woman depends on them for support. In the eyes of traditional Chinese charming men:The value of a woman = appearance - bride price + dowry - love history + ability to have children + ability to serve her in-lawsMen who still insist on using this formula to set modern women will inevitably be eliminated in modern marriage and love relationships.
For Lao Liu, divorce may not give him the answer he wants, because the marriage dilemma he faces has been solved countless times by women for thousands of years. Therefore, Lao Liu is also a typical victim of patriarchy. The essence of patriarchy is a class system that divides people into hierarchies and binds them with money power, and it is the first person who is all, not a single man or woman. Marriage is based on two independent individuals, and anyone who does not have an independent spirit will fall into the passivity of human dignity. Only when both parties focus on their own self-realization, are spiritually independent and financially independent, can true love be generated.
Therefore, our opposition to the idea of patriarchy is a struggle for the emancipation and freedom of man, not for the transfer of privilege for men or women alone. Respect for human rights, not just gender antagonism, and the value of human beings rather than just economic values, is fair to all stay-at-home moms or stay-at-home dads who contribute to their families. The road is difficult and difficult, this is not a problem that one person has to face, it is the progress that the times have to make. Fu Seoul and Lao Liu represent the state of thousands of couples, from knowing each other to falling in love, and then to accompanying each other to old age, we have too much Xi to learn.
After a long marriage, it is more about the process of finding yourself, nourishing yourself, and breaking through yourself. Whether Lao Liu and Fu Seoul divorce or not, break the existing circle and rebuild a new circle, there will be water flowing in this process to nourish life. Success and fame and fortune do not make anyone a circle, and in the end, it must be linked to love and acceptance to make up for the gap in life. We don't want to be lazy in our relationships, because we need to keep peeking into our true selves in every intimate relationship, and then keep awakening new love. After all, the source of love is not a man or woman, but the depths of one's own heart. The lifelong task of modern people is not to find a lifelong partner, but to live a better self, and to be their only lifelong partner.
Fortunately, the progress of society lies in the fact that we seem to understand more and more:Who am I, where am I from, and where am I going. In fact, many partings in life are like the throes of childbirth, and after they pass, there will be great happiness of new life. Dot"Watching".Let's move forward together. 100 help plan