In the TV series "Only with You Can I Have a Home", Jiang Wanxiang holds the educational concept of "filial piety under the stick", and beats children if he disagrees, especially boys, with whatever he has around him, cucumbers, brooms, feather dusters, ......It's all the ** he educates his children.
This kind of stick style of teaching children was extremely common in family education in the past.
In "Fu Lei's Family Letter", Fu Cong is also a victim of stick education, and thankfully, his father Fu Lei finally realized his mistake, he wrote in a letter to his son Fu Cong:
Child, I have abused you, I will never be sorry for you, I will never be able to atone for this sin!These thoughts have not left my mind for a whole day, but I dare not say to your mother that if you do one wrong thing in life, your conscience will never be at peace!Really, Balzac said it well: some sins can only be atoned for, not washed away!”
It can be seen that Fu Lei's attitude towards his son's admitting mistakes is sincere, and telling his own reflections to his son may be of great help to Fu Cong**'s childhood injuries.
It is true that parents discipline their children strictly, but they must respect their children as the premise and teach them in a good way. Children have their own personality and self-esteem, which is not the private property of their parents, to be disposed of at will.
I have read the story of a parent with autism spectrum disorder, on the first day of school, the teacher talked to the parent, saying that the child was inattentive in class, did not listen, and was ignorant.
In the face of the child's illness and the teacher's helplessness, the father did not blame the child for beating and scolding when he came home, but encouraged him to attend classes and listen to lectures, and patiently accompanied him at home to teach repeatedly.
It was his father's encouragement and preaching that he successfully finished fourth in his class in the first semester. Later, he went from elementary school and middle school to university step by step, and basically integrated into society.
If parents beat and scold their children for a long time, not only will they not play an educational role, but sometimes they will backfire. A 16-year-old boy in Liaoning Province set fire to eight fires in one day, and the police asked about the situation, but the reason was that his father often abused him and wanted to take revenge on his father.
The parent's family education style affects the child's life, often encourages and praises, and the child forms a confident and optimistic personality that will be used for a lifetimeOn the contrary, if you are often beaten and scolded, the psychological damage caused to the child will take a lifetime.
Someone said: "The wounds of the original family need to be released and healed in order to move towards health and maturity." ”
Family injuries need to be discovered and stopped in time, so that children can get out of the shadows and grow up healthily.
Parents often inadvertently cause psychological trauma to their children in the name of love, which requires parents to often reflect on their words and deeds. If you are aware of your mistakes, you should be brave enough to admit them to your child, help them heal, and minimize the loss.
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