Chinese proverbs represent the crystallization of thousands of years of wisdom of the toiling masses, especially in marriage and friendship, and the experience that has been handed down has been summarized into many useful truths. Among them, the auspicious part of the wedding process is considered to be the key to determining whether the man and woman can become husband and wife, and it is colloquially called "Hebazi". This seemingly simple process contains the deep thinking and wisdom of the ancient people about marriage.
The eight-character concept has derived many proverbs about marriage, such as "female junior, hug gold bricks" and "it is better to marry early than to marry early". These well-known proverbs have dominated the criteria for choosing a mate for almost thousands of years, reflecting how strict the ancients were about marriage.
Ancient marriages set a strict and serious process in the weekly rites, but the right to freely choose a partner usually belonged to the matchmaker and the patriarch. Before getting married, the man and the woman should not even meet each other for fear of damaging their reputation. However, in male-inferior societies, those from better families enjoy more freedom in choosing a mate.
Appearance occupies the first place in the ancient mate selection criteria. Although some people believe that ancient people did not pay attention to physical appearance, in reality, beauty was crucial in ancient marriages. Describing men as "handsome sons with a face like jade" was loved by girls in ancient times.
The story of "Han Shou stealing incense" in the Jin Dynasty illustrates the importance of appearance in the selection of mates in ancient times. Han Shou's handsomeness attracted Jia Wu, and the two became acquainted because of their appearance, and eventually became a good story. However, good-looking cannot be eaten, and ancient people still listed character and talent as important conditions when choosing a mate.
Talented and virtuous people are also in high demand. During the Eastern Han Dynasty, Sima Song Hong was favored by Liu Xiu's sister because of his talent and excellent character. However, he resolutely refuses to abandon his wife, showing a sense of responsibility to his family.
In addition, family history was an important factor in the ancient criteria for choosing a mate, the so-called "family match". Although these standards are external conditions, in fact, the most important thing is to look at people. In ancient times, there were two kinds of people who were undesirable, namely "not marrying red Fusang" and "not marrying big horse monkeys".
"Don't marry a red fusang" means to avoid marrying a woman who is blushing or infertile. Despite its warm appearance, hibiscus flowers represent subtle beauty and are often used to implicitly express marital status. This metaphor means avoiding marrying women who are of bad character or unable to have children.
"Don't marry a big horse monkey" means avoiding marrying a **, irascible man. This metaphor emphasizes the pursuit of a mild-mannered, righteous marriage partner. These evasive tactics in marriage proverbs, while sometimes stereotypical, actually reflect the ancient people's quest for marital stability.
Overall, although the folk proverb "a good man does not marry a red Fusang, and a good woman does not marry a big horse monkey", although it has gradually faded in modern society, some of its wisdom is still worth reflecting on. Choosing a mate is not only a momentary impulse and feeling, but also needs to take into account the other party's conduct, personality and family situation, so as to build a stable and harmonious marriage relationship. Today, although love is crucial, the wisdom of the ancients in choosing a mate still provides us with valuable experience and inspiration. Marriage is a book that can never be finished, and every one of us readers is the protagonist of the book.
This article delves into the ancient concept of marriage and the criteria for mate selection, and shows the rigor and wisdom of ancient people on the issue of mate selection by introducing the auspicious question in marriage, the concept of eight characters and a series of proverbs. Through stories and details, the article vividly depicts the ancient people's consideration of appearance, talent, conduct and family background, as well as the avoidance of red Fusang and the big horse monkey. These contents not only let readers understand the ancient people's concept of marriage, but also triggered some thoughts on the modern concept of marriage and love.
First of all, the article emphasizes the important ritual in ancient marriages - the auspicious session. The existence of this link directly determines whether a man and a woman can become husband and wife, highlighting the ancient people's deep understanding of the importance of marriage. This also echoes the title of the article, choosing a mate is the wisdom of the ages, not only feelings, but also a prudent ritual.
Secondly, the article vividly shows readers the importance that ancient people attached to their appearance through stories. Although people often think that in ancient times, they did not pay attention to appearance, but in fact, appearance occupies a very important place in the selection of mates. Through the story of "Han Shou stealing incense", it not only depicts Han Shou's handsome image, but also reflects the appreciation of beauty by ancient women, so that people have a more specific perception of the concept of marriage at that time.
The article also mentions that talent and conduct also played an important role in the selection of mates in ancient times. Song Hong's refusal to marry Liu Xiu's sister shows his adherence to family responsibilities, highlighting the great importance that ancient people attached to character and family values. This notion of giving equal importance to character is also instructive for modern people.
At the same time, the article cites ancient proverbs, such as "a good man does not marry a red Fusang, and a good woman does not marry a big horse monkey", etc., which profoundly reflect the expectations and mate selection criteria of ancient people for marriage partners through vivid metaphors and metaphors. Although these standards sometimes seem rigid, they actually reflect the pursuit of marital stability and family harmony.
Finally, the article mentions the changes in the concept of mate selection in modern society from a modern perspective. Although some of the standards of ancient times may have faded in modern times, the deep thinking about marriage contained in them is still worth considering. Modern people often take love as the main criterion, and often ignore factors such as the other person's character, personality and family background. Therefore, by drawing on ancient wisdom, we may be able to reflect on our current concept of mate selection.
Overall, this article enables readers to have a more comprehensive understanding of ancient people's attitudes and choices towards marriage by digging deep into ancient concepts of marriage and interpreting the criteria for choosing a mate. At the same time, through the comparison with the modern concept of marriage, it has triggered the thinking and reflection of the concept of personal mate selection.
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