At my nephew's wedding, I gave a gift of 4,000, but because I couldn't be there in person, my sister-in-law asked me not to go back to my parents' house
The sister-in-law called ** again and talked about the date of her nephew's wedding, although on the surface it was a casual chat, but in fact she couldn't get out of those few words.
I understand that my sister-in-law really wants us to go back to the wedding.
My three siblings, I am the second, married locally, and now I work with my husband in Guangdong, and my children also go to school in Guangdong. My third sister married to the Northeast, and there is a paralyzed mother-in-law at home, and my brother-in-law travels all year round, so she really can't get out.
My sister-in-law is a foreigner, and she worked in the same factory as me before marriage, and we had a good relationship, so I introduced her to my brother.
My sister-in-law is kind and hardworking, and she is willing to do her best for the family. Every time we went back, we were full of laughter and got along very well.
Now that my nephew is getting married, it is a happy event, and not many people from my sister-in-law's family come. My sister and his wife can't go back, and my sister-in-law especially wants us to go back.
My sister-in-law also understands our predicament, my in-laws are old and in poor health, and we have to send 1,500 yuan home every month. I also have two children in school, a freshman and a sophomore in high school, and the educational expenses at this stage are a heavy burden on us. Taking time off meant a loss, and I felt like I saw stacks of bills drifting away, difficult to grasp.
The point is, it's the end of the year, and the bonuses are all going to be cashed out. Taking time off means losing revenue, and the end of the year is a time when the factory is in a hurry to catch up with the goods, so taking time off is simply asking for trouble.
I chatted casually with my sister-in-law for a while, deliberately avoiding the topic of going home, I was really in a dilemma!
After getting off work in the evening, I mentioned my sister-in-law's ** to my husband, and my husband also fell into thinking.
We're a family after all, and it doesn't feel good to be absent from my nephew's wedding......
Before I finished speaking, my husband said: "Those who ask for leave now are fools, and the factory prefers that someone resign or ask for leave." ”
I fell silent, and I had already figured out the account. If the two take three days off, their wages will be reduced by six days, and one month's full attendance bonus will be deducted, and the leave will have an impact on the year-end bonus.
What's more, three days is far from enough, two days back and forth, and when I go home, I have to visit my parents, take care of my in-laws, buy clothes and prepare supplies for the elderly on both sides. In this way, it will take at least a week, and the loss of this week will reach at least 6,000 yuan.
In a family like ours, 6,000 yuan is a lot of things!
My husband said that now it is different from before, I have money but no money to go home for the New Year. Nowadays, we shoulder a family, can not have a little difference pool, these years, the New Year and the holidays are treated indifferently, unlike the previous squeeze train station to go home, now you can go back at any time when you have time, you can afford anything you need when you have money.
I knew what my husband meant, but I was still hesitating. After all, this is my only nephew, and my brother and sister-in-law are my matchmakers, so if I don't even hold up the scene, it's a bit unreasonable.
Seeing that I was silent, my husband said that he inquired, and the gift in our town is not too high now, with a maximum of 1,000 yuan for friends and 2,000 yuan for relatives. Otherwise, we will transfer 4,000 yuan to my sister-in-law, including an additional 1,000 yuan for pouring wine, which can be regarded as fighting for my sister-in-law's face.
I thought about it for a while and finally said yes. After all, money is the last word at the moment, and only with money can we do things. Although we are not physically present, sufficient money can solve the problem.
So, I transferred two sums of money to my sister-in-law, one for 4,000 yuan and one for 1,000 yuan, and explained the purpose, and we didn't go back.
My sister-in-law didn't receive the money until the next day, and I thought it was over, but I didn't expect it to be a source of disagreement between me and my sister-in-law.
On my nephew's wedding day, my husband and I specially expressed our blessings through ** and explained in detail the reason why we couldn't go home in person. My mother also specially recorded the scene **for me**, which surprised me.
It turned out that another family in the east of the town was also getting married that day. Since two weddings took place at the same time, people flocked to that side, making it even more lively. Due to my nephew's family situation and the fact that there were only two brothers at my sister's wedding party, one of whom accompanied the conversation, it was difficult for me to talk deeply with others. My sister and I were unable to return home for various reasons, so my sister-in-law was very busy, and my parents were always chatting with relatives and friends.
Whoever opened their mouths was asking why the sisters hadn't returned. This was quite embarrassing for my parents because it was the only nephew wedding and none of my aunts were there. In contrast, the Dongtou family had three daughters and two sons, each with a spouse and children, making for an extraordinarily lively atmosphere. Coupled with the participation of other relatives and friends, the scene was very enthusiastic.
At the wedding in the town, there is a tacit program - ordering songs. Relatives and friends have contributed money, 10 yuan per song. At lunchtime, everyone enjoyed the songs while eating, adding to the joyful atmosphere of the wedding. And that day, the family in the east kept singing enthusiastically, and even had unfinished songs after eating. On my nephew's side, for some reason, there are relatively few relatives and friends who order songs.
My mother noticed that my sister-in-law's face was not good, so she paid for my sister and me to order a song for 50 yuan each, so that we could barely keep the wedding banquet going. Since many villagers ate at Dongtou at noon, according to Xi, they were invited to dinner again in the evening.
According to my mother, my sister-in-law barely arranged to send off the guests, and when she got home, she was exhausted. I didn't even have the energy to get up and make breakfast the next morning.
The next afternoon, I tried to call ** to my sister-in-law, but found that I had been blocked. Instead, I contacted my sister and learned that she was facing the same situation. I had to call my mother, but I heard what my sister-in-law said. She said that she felt very humiliated by our absence at this wedding. She has been married for many years, and her children have been married, but they have never been shown in front of her mother's family, which makes her feel hurt and frustrated.
I'm bothered, did I really make a mistake?Obviously, I expressed my heart, although I was not able to be present in person, but I did pass the ** blessing and gave a gift money. My mom told me that my sister-in-law thought the wedding had made her lose face. She believes that the marriage of her nephew is a major event for the family, and the lack of our presence makes the whole scene seem unimportant. My sister-in-law even mentioned that we should not go back to my parents' house in the future, because my brother has no sister.
My parents live in this small town, and although the environment is relatively narrow, the words are widely spread, and my sister-in-law, as a foreigner, has not been able to fully integrate into it. This wedding hurt her even more, and she even felt a little like crying.
Am I really wrong?Obviously just because I wasn't there in person, isn't everything I do taken seriously?Please comment, did I make a mistake?