"You will definitely be beaten to death by your mother-in-law in the future! You're a piece of waste! ”The mother pointed to the child who had been squatting at home for 10 years and scolded, the child was not to be outdoneShe turned her head and pointed her finger at her elderly mother's head and began to fight back loudly.
In the face of scolding her child like this, the old mother seems to have become Xi to it. But when others thought that she was unfilial, she shouted, "It's all her parents!" And she also wrapped a white cloth around her body, claiming that "this is the pressure that her parents put on her!" "What the hell is going on with all this?
The girl who quarreled so fiercely with her mother is named Fan Chengjin and is 33 years old this yearAt first, she did not choose to gnaw at home, but after failing to work outside, she had plans to go out to do businessFor this reason, she often squats at home, on the side of the road and other places.
Because her parents hit her so hard, she wanted to find a chance to prove herself, but her mother didn't seem to understand her at all. It was the first time she had proposed to do business, and she observed that there was a clearing at the entrance to her village, and a little further from the clearing was the market place, and there was an elementary school next to it.
She wants to build a supermarket in this location, so that people can see their supermarket, and if they can't buy anything in the market, they can just come to the supermarket to buy it, and there will definitely be more people at that timeBut as soon as the idea was proposed, her mother immediately rejected it.
Her mother said"Who's going to buy from you? People go to the market to buy things from vendors! If you don't have any money at home, what will you do to build a house? I'm going to cover it for you alone!
When Fan Chengjin heard this, she was immediately so angry that she quarreled with her parents, she finally observed this way to make money, but she didn't expect her parents not only not to praise herself, but even to keep sneering.
But my mother's opinion is that this is unrealistic, her family's economic situation is too poor, and if you want to build a supermarket, you have to borrow money from relatives and friendsBut his own family is poor and white, and which relative is willing to lend him money, unless he saves a sum of money, he can only say this.
She thought that Fan Chengjin was "pulling calves", so she casually denied her idea, but Fan Chengjin cared about these very muchShe kept everything in her heart about her mother's denial of herself, and every time she quarreled, she had to confront her mother.
Soon after, Fan Chengjin proposed to make a barbecue, because no one in the village had ever done this business, and maybe he could make a profit from it, but his mother refused on the same grounds. Things like this happened many times later in life.
Every time Fan Chengjin thinks of some way, her mother will always deny her first, and then consider whether it can be done, if this thing can't be done in her eyes, then she won't support Fan Chengjin, and she will let her do it. Fan Chengjin has always been haunted by his mother's denial.
Later, she simply didn't go out to work, and stayed at home all day to quarrel with her mother, but her father didn't care about the situation of the mother and daughter, and her sister couldn't interject anything. In this way, Fan Chengjin is 33 years old and still stays at home and eats his parents' every day, uses his parents', does not get married, has children, and does not go out to work.
's mother looked at her more and more unpleasantly, and the resentment accumulated in Fan Chengjin's heart became deeper and deeper, and he gradually became nervous. At first, she would hide in the quilt and cry aggrievedly, but later, the mother and daughter directly pointed at each other's heads and scolded each other.
As long as her mother said something that made her feel that something was wrong, she would quarrel with her mother, and the family would be disturbed and not at ease, but in fact, Fan Chengjin was not like this at the beginning, she used to be very lively and cheerful, and her temper was also very good.
When the reporter went to her house, he also found that Fan Chengjin's room was neater, cleaner, and more orderly than his parentsMy sister also said that she is usually more loving and good to others, but as long as she stays at home, she will change her appearance.
In 1984, Fan Chengjin was born in a suburb of Tangshan, Hebei Province, the family is not very wealthy, she also has an older sister, and the family of four depends on each other. Before Fan Chengjin was born, sheMy father used to work in a grain factory, and he was an iron rice bowl, enough for the family to eat.
But it was precisely because of Fan Chengjin's birth that his father lost this job, and Fan Chengjin was pregnant for a few years just in time for family planningAt that time, there was a rule in the factory that each family could only have one child, and Fan Chengjin's parents already had one child, that is, Fan Chengjin's sister Fan Chenghong.
Her father didn't want to lose his job, but Fan Chengjin's mother was too strong to give birth to Fan Chengjin, and her father was resignedHer father was angry because of this, and he decided to train Fan Chengjin to become a talent so that she could make up for her regrets in the future.
In order to achieve this "grand ambition", he has been strict with Fan Chengjin since he was a child, and her mother also supports this practice, and her parents almost never support extracurricular knowledge and interestsHer parents were bent on forcing her to focus on her Xi, and they were usually very strict with her, and no one knew what Fan Chengjin's heart really needed.
Although Fan Chengjin showed a higher imagination than ordinary people when he was very young, he also designed some clothes and skating sneakers by himself when he was in junior high schoolShe felt that when she saw this "great invention" to her parents, she would definitely change her attitude and praise herself.
But after seeing her invention, her mother not only did not praise her creation, but even denied her creation, Fan Chengjin said to himselfUntil now, she still sneered at her mother's inventions, and her mother was reluctant to say even a word of praise, and even asked herself to go to schoolDon't do these useless things.
These inventions are not useless inventions at all in Fan Chengjin's eyesBut his mother's blows again and again made Fan Chengjin begin to doubt whether he was really useless, or as his mother said, he was stupid and couldn't do anything. She hid these inferiority complexes in her heart and didn't dare to say it.
Until she entered high school, because under the huge pressure of her parents, she would feel very nervous and scared no matter what she did, and felt that she would not do well, so she was blamed. But the more careful she is, the more she will make mistakes. In such a high-pressure environment, she failed the college entrance examination three times in succession, and finally enrolled in a junior college.
At this time, her father completely lost hope in her, and her mother was still aggressive, and her mother thought that if she had school, she would go to school, as long as she could work and earn money in the future.
In this regard, she did not blame Fan Chengjin, the relationship between the two was slightly softened compared to before, but it was unthinkable that such a relaxation would lay a harbinger for a complete break later.
Fan Chengjin went to school for two years and had an idea of work-study. Because my family is really poorShe wanted to make money earlier, and she didn't want to spend too much money on her parents, she thought that this behavior would allow her mother at home to see her sensible and mature.
With great hope, she came to the supermarket to apply for sales, and she was successfully hired, but on the first day of work, she made a mistake. I don't know why her heart beats faster as soon as she talks to a stranger, she breaks out in a cold sweat, and she stammersIn short, there is a very strong sense of oppression in her heart, which makes her afraid to communicate with strangers.
The most serious thing is that she was laughed at by the guests because she stammered, which made Fan Chengjin suffer a deep blow, and every time she talked about it, Fan Chengjin's eyes were always red. But what made her most uncomfortable was not being ridiculed by others, but that when she got home, her parents not only didn't care about her, but even accused her of not doing her job well.
Fan Chengjin has completely cut off his expectations of his parents at this momentIn her eyes, her parents have become the stubborn villains who will always belittle themselves, and they feel very irritated when they see them every day。The mother, on the other hand, thinks that her daughter likes to be angry with herself at every turn, and she doesn't respect herself at all.
The key daughter always puts forward some unrealistic ideas, and after making her own suggestions, her daughter always blames herself, and gradually she hates her daughter too, and the quarrel between the two is also on the verge of breaking out.
The mother's scolding is already mean, and she is even more unforgiving after making herself angry, Fan Chengjin and his mother never be unreasonable once they quarreled, and they would never let their mother. Until the program team found Fan Chengjin's family and invited them to the program team, his mother and Fan Chengjin were still quarrelling.
The program team saw that the main contradiction between the two was that they didn't understand each other, and they couldn't calm down and communicate wellFan Chengjin didn't know the pressure of his mother, and the mother didn't know the pressure of her daughter, so it caused a deeper misunderstandingSo the program team carefully designed two projects for two people to interact.
The first is to turn her mother's mean words into a cloth wrapped around her, so that her mother can understand her pressure, and the second is to convert Fan Chengjin's inner pressure into pieces of heavy pieces, and let Fan Chengjin carry it up the 8th floor of stairs。During this period, if her mother and sister are willing to take the initiative to help her relieve stress, they can help her put down the iron on her body.
The mother saw her daughter struggling like this, and she softened her heart a little, and she and her eldest daughter took off the iron block from the younger daughter Fan Chengjin, and Fan Chengjin finally climbed to the eighth floorAt this time, she felt suddenly enlightened. It was these invisible pressures that had always puzzled her.
This is the pressure generated by the collision of strong contradictions between her and her parents, and all this is precisely because her parents are not properly educated, and she is unwilling to take the initiative to grow up! It can be seen that the constraints of the original family on a person are very huge, and only by completely stepping out and becoming an independent person can we get rid of this influence.