New Year's should have a sense of ritual
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Time is like a wild horse on the loose, and 2023 is about to pass, but to be honest, I am not as much looking forward to the upcoming 2024 as I used to be.
Even today, for the first time, I no longer keep the New Year as in previous years, and go to bed on time.
I don't want to say something depressing, I can say that, on the one hand, people have mediocre grades in middle age, and on the other hand, they have experienced a lot of ups and downs and adversities over the years, and their youthful and impetuous thoughts have been precipitated and solidified.
So on the last day of the year, I just want to share with you some of the insights and experiences I have gained this year
One of the biggest pains in life is making a lot of great friends, and then you watch them grow by leaps and bounds, getting farther and farther away from you.
For a moment, I felt as if I had been "abandoned" because I had fallen behind. And this kind of "severance of relationship interaction" caused by no tearing is very uncomfortable.
The formation of a circle or a relationship is often based on consensus or similarity, especially during the student years. After entering the society, after more than ten years of tempering, many people can complete the first pot of gold or the initial accumulation of their careers.
Whether it is a smooth person or a "left behind" person, in fact, you need to make an adjustment in your living, social and living environment in order to better manage the next stage of your life.
I was "lucky" that I made a lot of excellent people and became "friends" when I was a student, and they all developed rapidly in the past ten years, and some of them even exaggerated to a higher level in a year. This is a stark contrast to me, who is almost "standing still", ......
At first, when faced with this situation, I would definitely "not admit defeat" and secretly compete with others, but after several years of hitting a wall, you have to admit that some things are indeed "beyond my strength", at least for now.
So I have a new understanding of my personal pursuit: "If you can't change the status quo, then try to change yourself, if you can't change yourself, then it is necessary to try to think about something."
I began to try to "huddle together" with some neighbors who had "similarities" in the situation, and the effect was also very significant, whether it was for daily life or the things at hand, there were different degrees of positive improvement, and the mood was much better.
Be brave enough to renew the boundaries of your life and accept more people who are "matched" with you, and you will find many blind spots that you have been "overlooked" in the past, and find your way back forward.
I hate to hear people say that "failure is the mother of success", that failure is failure, and that success in the worldly sense of the individual is often very fortuitous and never comes from mathematical formulas.
Many times the adversity in life is not justified, and the so-called success is often an afterthought, and it is often backtracked at a certain node of success to know what you really did right. It's as if there is some extra meaning given to one's own efforts and the hardships that have been paid so far, but in essence, these are all self-inflicted plays.
It's as if a person failed 99 times and succeeded on the 100th. But what if he gave up when he failed 98 times?So what do these failures mean to you?What additional meaning can be given to these experiences and lessons?
I have reason to think that the core ingredient that drives our efforts to persevere may not be what constitutes perseverance. It's simply a mixture of unwilling and helpless life compulsion!
In other words: "It's done!".”
The accumulation of experience in life, the test of each achievement, regardless of success or failure, the test of one's own mind, every time is true, although the result cannot be accurately quantified, but our own growth in this process is one step at a time. If you are a self-motivated person, adversity must be a catalyst for your "growth".
Therefore, as long as you live with your heart and work hard, you should still face life with a normal heart. Do your best to know the destiny of heaven, and don't worry too much about temporary success or failure.
After all, life is a long-distance race, and neither good nor bad times should let down our vigilance and be careless.
Maturity not only means living like an adult and like the elders in the past, but also means being different from the impetuous mentality of youth.
This year, I have "added" a new mature connotation, removing the "daddy taste" that used to love self-righteousness.
The continuous adversity and setbacks in recent years have made me more aware of who I am, the boundaries of my abilities, and the gap between myself and the people around me.
I was amazed at why some people, both apparently and in fact, are so stupid, but still have a better life than me
I now finally understand that most of the reasons for this situation are that there are advantages in people that I don't have and that I ignore.
It is precisely this "helpless" status quo that makes me, a person who had "social Darwinism" ideas as a student, become more humanist and empathetic, and less extreme and utilitarian.
Tolerating one's own failures also means tolerating the decadence of others.
In constant reflection and meditation, I began to realize:
The world is a collection of pluralistic and systemic things, in fact, nothing is absolutely necessary, what we become and what choices we make, as long as there is no coercion, is reasonable. As long as you don't break the law, you are actually worthy of respect.
Experiencing these things has given me a lot of changes in the past year. In the past, I liked to be an "opinion leader" in my circle and be a good teacher, but now I just feel that I used to be absurd and naïve, and I wasted a lot of time and energy. For two months, I even lost my voice and lost more than a dozen pounds.
Now I am more willing to listen to other people's ideas, have more patience, have a better temper, and be more tolerant and humble;What's more, I finally succeeded in "silence is golden", I no longer have so many "cranky thoughts" to show off to others, and I finally controlled my long-winded and nonsense mouth.
I have to say that according to this line of thinking, after a few months of practice, I have benefited a lot ......
Social beings are more likely to feel the pressures of the environment, unintentionally compete and self-actualize, especially for many of today's "utilitarian" people.
But life is not satisfactory ** out of ten, no matter how hard you work, most people live a mediocre and ordinary life, which for many people who have a big gap between ideals and reality, there is no doubt that there will be "spiritual internal friction" in their hearts.
For many middle-aged people in their thirties, there is no longer a high spirited time when they were in their twenties and just graduatedDon't bully the poor teenagers and have gradually "lost their name";Instead, there is the standard configuration of "old and young".
Putting aside the objective environment of "lucky" catching up with high housing prices, the economic downturn, and the sluggish job market. For many middle-aged people like me, with mediocre family resources and ordinary abilities, it is easy to make money
Therefore, when my efforts have repeatedly encountered countless setbacks in the past few years, I no longer have such urgent expectations for the goals I was obsessed with in the past, and I no longer have the slightest unrealistic illusions.
Society really has a way of teaching you to know it.
Even though I am still gritting my teeth and persisting and trying to do my own thing every day as in the past, I am more willing to tolerate my current shortcomings than in the past when I calmly accept my failures and mediocrity.
It is true that many things cannot be done by hard work alone. If you can't do it despite all your might, don't be too yourself, no matter what difficulties or setbacks you encounter, you must "think about it", don't fall into some kind of extreme behavior or extreme emotions, after all, you still have to rely on yourself to change all this.
I believe that as long as I am not dead, have hands and feet, and are healthy, there will still be a chance, and there will be a "future".
In the end, I actually want to say that in fact, one of the original intentions of starting to write this year is also to alleviate my "spiritual internal friction", which can be understood as an alternative "self-help". Although my own stories and experiences are full of "helplessness" and "dissatisfaction", I have also gained a lot of encouragement and recognition in the process of insisting on sharing knowledgeWhile helping some readers, it made me more enthusiastic and motivated to devote myself to my own life.
Whenever I receive a thank you from a reader, I am reminded of what my immediate boss used to say to me when I first started working: "Sharing is gaining". So even if I don't have many fans because I don't like to rub hot spots, I will continue to do it in the future.
At the end of this article, I would like to say that no matter how you have had your past year, you have been as prosperous as my "old friends" or as unremarkable as me. I wish you all a safe and fruitful 2024Work hard not to seek immediate results, but to be worthy of your heart