Mo Yan Be smart, no matter what happens to your relatives, you don t know if you don t know it

The philosopher Sartre famously said: "The other is hell;

It's that we shouldn't care too much about what others think of us, because paying too much attention to what others think of us is like being roasted on a fire, it's painful, like falling into purgatory

This sentence is actually talking about some people in real life;

These people, in interpersonal relationships, are always afraid that they will be looked down upon, afraid that they will be caught by others, and that if they are not enthusiastic enough, they will be picked by others, or even refuse to interact;

Actually, these worries are unnecessary;

Mo Yan once said a thought-provoking sentence:

Be smart, no matter what happens to your relatives, as long as you don't inform you, you will always pretend not to know, and don't ask afterwards. ”

It is often said that people nowadays are very cold;

In fact, in kinship, the problem of modern people is that they lack a sense of boundary and proportion

Influenced by some traditional concepts, many people feel that relatives and themselves are "family";

If a relative's family encounters any difficulties, and they do not take the initiative to give and lend a helping hand, it means that they have low emotional intelligence, are indifferent, ungenerous, and ungrateful;

They fear that their relatives will blame themselves, alienate themselves, or even be hostile to them because they do not offer to help

In fact, Mo Yan's words point out the key to the interaction between relatives;

That is, as long as the relatives do not inform you, you do not need to take the initiative to inquire, and there is no need to inquire about what is going on

Generally speaking, people like to talk about good things and don't like to talk about bad things

If a relative finds you about something, it either means that you should know about it, or that he is willing to share it with you

He didn't tell you, either you don't need to know and it's inconvenient to know, or this matter is about the privacy and face of your relatives, and he doesn't want you to know;

In short, you and your relatives are still in exchange of courtesies on weekdays, and what you should know will always let you know, and not let you know, indicating that your relatives have their own intentions;

You don't need to worry because you are not enthusiastic and proactive, which will cause your relatives to complain and be picky about you.

If you take the initiative to ask, it seems that you are not smart enough, and people may think that you meddle in other people's private affairs and pay too much attention to other people's housework, which is a sign of disrespect for him.

Therefore, respecting the right of a relative not to tell you, and respecting his right to solve his own problems in life, is a sign of a person's maturity, and it is also something we should consider and learn;

When relatives fall into a low point in life, are riddled with troubles, or there are conflicts between husband and wife, and the parent-child relationship is tense, this is a kind of torment and torture for him;

At this time, what relatives need is to think calmly and find a suitable solution, they do not like to be disturbed, they also reject someone, and they make decisions for them self-righteously;

Therefore, we pretend not to know, which is a kind of wisdom and way of life that gives our relatives free space;

It is the embodiment of allowing relatives to have reservations about their own privacy.

This is the subject of his life, and he needs to complete it himself, if we rashly stand in the position of outsiders, think for others, meddle and interfere in other people's lives, on the one hand, it is not appropriate, and on the other hand, it may be disgusting.

Of course, this does not mean that we have to be a cold and indifferent person;

Rather, the premise of helping others is based on respect, and it is necessary to pay attention to proportion, timing, and the right amount

Blindly projecting one's spare energy onto relatives, paying too much attention to what relatives think of oneself, and blindly giving enthusiastic help may destroy the original kinship relationship

Only by learning to examine one's own behavior and act from the other party's position can family affection last forever and let everyone get along in harmony.

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