It's really unpredictable, two years ago, when Xiaojuan ignored the opposition of her mother-in-law's family and insisted on donating a kidney to her brother's army without telling them, I sighed for a long timeNow, Xiaojuan's life is so bad that I can't complain, and I don't even know who to condemn. From the standpoint of any of the parties, it seems that they can understand what they do, but if you want to put these things together, it doesn't make sense, people's hearts and human nature seem to have problems, what is wrong?Let me tell you more!
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Xiaojuan is my friend, we have always had a good relationship, and she is willing to talk to me about anything. Two years ago, Xiaojuan's younger brother Dajun was diagnosed with uremia because of symptoms of loss of appetite, nosebleeds, and swelling of his calves. Even more unfortunate than this, Dajun had already had symptoms before, but he always thought that he was strong, young, and nothing serious, and he didn't bother to go to the hospital for a check-up.
The attending doctor who treated Dajun said that in his case, there was no better way to do it either to do dialysis to maintain the status quo or to have a kidney replaced.
Xiaojuan only has such a younger brother, her father died of illness when she was a teenager, when Xiaojuan and her husband Ryoko had only been married for more than a year and had no children of their own. Liangzi's family is just an ordinary family, with average economic conditions, and with the help of her in-laws, life is still passable.
Xiaojuan's mother is just an ordinary rural woman, and after her son is so sick, she doesn't know what to do except wash her face with tears every day.
When Dajun was sick, he was only 24 years old, and he had just talked about a girlfriend for a long time, and his good life had just begun, and of course he didn't want to live on dialysis one day at a time. So he begged his mother and sister to go to the hospital for a match. Xiaojuan and Dajun sisters and brothers have a very good relationship, without saying a word, they went to the hospital with their mother to do a match, although Liangzi was reluctant at the time, but Xiaojuan didn't think about Liangzi's feelings at that time.
After the matching results came out, Xiaojuan's mother didn't match, but Xiaojuan was successfully matched. After Dajun learned that his sister was successfully matched, he repeatedly begged his sister to donate a kidney to him, but Xiaojuan didn't agree yet, but Liangzi's family unanimously objected. The reason for the opposition of the mother-in-law's family is very simple: donating a kidney is not a trivial matter, and if you don't do it well, it will leave a lot of sequelae, besides, what if Xiaojuan's only kidney has problems in the future?After all, she is only 30 years old and has no childrenWho can guarantee that they will be healthy and healthy for the rest of their lives, and that they will not be sick or sick?Liangzi's parents did not agree with Xiaojuan's kidney donation, and after Liangzi realized the seriousness of the problem, he also resolutely opposed Xiaojuan doing this, after all, he was going to live with Xiaojuan for the rest of his life in the future, Xiaojuan really had a good one, and in the end it was he Liangzi who was dragged down.
No one in the in-laws family supported Xiaojuan to donate a kidney to her younger brother, and Xiaojuan herself was a little shaken, considering whether to donate a kidney to the army, donating a kidney must be risky, there is no doubt about this, the concerns of the in-laws and Liangzi are not unreasonable.
At this time, the army knelt down directly to Xiaojuan, begging her to save herself no matter what, and also swore that even if the Liangzi family ignored her, even if Xiaojuan's body really happened in the future, as long as his army was still alive and had a breath, he would definitely take care of Xiaojuan for the rest of her life.
At first, Xiaojuan didn't agree immediately, her mother-in-law's attitude was very tough, if Xiaojuan had to go her own way, if something unexpected happened in the future, the consequences would all be borne by her mother's family, and their family would not be responsible!On the one hand, her own brother, and on the other hand, her mother-in-law's family, who seems to be ruthless, but is actually for her sake, Xiaojuan is in a dilemma.
At this time, in order to survive the army, he knelt and cried in front of Xiaojuan every day, begging her to donate a kidney to herself, and repeatedly said that she would support her for the rest of her life in the future, and even moved out of her mother to talk about her mother. Seeing her younger brother begging herself like this, Xiaojuan finally couldn't bear it, hid it from her in-laws, secretly underwent surgery, and donated a kidney to the army.
After taking anti-rejection drugs for a period of time, the body returned to normal and could live like a tiger again. But Xiaojuan has had a lot of sequelae one after another, she has never had high blood pressure before, and now she has high blood pressure, after the operation, her wound also appeared suppuration, and now although it has been nearly half a year since Xiaojuan did kidney donation surgery, Xiaojuan's body is still not as good as before, and has not returned to the state before the operation. Obviously I didn't do any work, but I felt tired and tired every day, and I was still very young, but my physical condition was not as good as my mother-in-law.
When the people in her mother-in-law's family saw Xiaojuan's current state, she had high blood pressure again, and blamed Xiaojuan for not making her own assertion and donating a kidney to the army, and quarreling over this matter at every turn, disliking Xiaojuan in various ways, saying that she was self-inflicted, and that if something went wrong, she would drag down their family. When Xiaojuan complained to me, seeing that her situation in her in-law's house was so difficult now, as a friend, in addition to being distressed, I could only comfort her with words.
To add insult to injury, Xiaojuan's mother suffered a car accident some time ago and became a vegetative person, the old man was fully responsible, and the other driver, out of sympathy, gave tens of thousands of yuan and closed the case. Dajun did a kidney transplant, plus the later recuperation and medicine, he already owed a lot of foreign debts to relatives and friends, and now his mother has such a thing, you can imagine how heavy the burden on Dajun's body is.
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Xiaojuan didn't have a good life in her in-law's house, and she didn't get the respect she deserved, so she thought that instead of making noise every day, it would be better to divorce Liangzi. When Xiaojuan told Dajun about the idea of divorcing, but her younger brother persuaded Xiaojuan not to divorce, his mother was enough for him to have a headache, he is now too busy to take care of himself, and the promise he promised to take care of her for the rest of her life is now impossible to do, he can't afford to support her.
When Xiaojuan complained to me, she said that the reason why she lived like this is completely because of donating a kidney to save her brother, she said that when she told her brother that she wanted to divorce, she didn't expect her brother to support herself, but her brother not only comforted her, but also said that she didn't want to fulfill her promises, she was really sad, not only physically tired, but also mentally tired.
When Xiaojuan told me this, she couldn't help crying as she spoke, and I persuaded Xiaojuan to sit down with her in-laws and have a good chat, high blood pressure is very common, as long as your blood pressure is controlled, it is not a big deal. Now there are more people with high blood pressure, and besides, her high blood pressure is not necessarily only after donating a kidney!
Xiaojuan told me that the people in her mother-in-law's family were not willing to listen to her say this at all, and they only knew that they blindly blamed her for donating a kidney to her younger brother and breaking her body, and now it is difficult to have a child.
Then take your in-laws to the hospital to see a doctor, listen to what the doctors say, don't you know everything?It also saves the family from guessing and complaining to each other at home, maybe there is nothing to do at all, and they can have children, so many people with high blood pressure don't all have children?
Xiaojuan shook her head, sighed, and said that she was too lazy to quarrel with her mother-in-law's family now, and many ugly and hurtful words were said by them, and she was tired after arguing too many times, and now she really wants to divorce, leave their house, and don't want to see anyone in their family again.
I persuade Xiaojuan again, the relationship between you and Liangzi is still there, before this incident, Liangzi was still good to you, don't because of this matter, the two of them really broke up!
Xiaojuan was silent for a while, and then said, when I go home now, there are all kinds of noises at home, how can I live this day?In this situation, what more children do you need?If I really have it, it will also be a bitter child, not to mention, I may not be able to conceive!In addition, my mother is in this situation, and my brother has repeatedly told me not to divorce, he can't afford to support me, and when he asked me to donate a kidney, he didn't say that!Speaking of this, Xiaojuan couldn't help sobbing again.
Looking at Xiaojuan like this, I am also very sad, but what can I say?No one wants this kind of thing, standing in their own positions, it seems that everyone is not wrong, what is really wrong is the way and method, if everyone complains less, understands more, and tolerates each other, maybe things will be a different result!
Later, I still accompanied Xiaojuan to the hospital, Xiaojuan also told the doctor all her conditions, and after finishing speaking, I asked the doctor if the sequelae would really be so obvious after donating a kidneyIs this happening to her an occasional or common occurrence?After donating a kidney, is it easy to get tired and not easy to have children?Is high blood pressure a sequelae of kidney donation?
Xiao Juan was lucky, the doctor was a chief doctor, very patient, the doctor told Xiao Juan that the kidney donation surgery is a relatively large operation, and there may be a certain degree of fatigue after the operation. Anesthesia is required during the operation, and there may be *** things such as tiredness and fatigue after the operation, which are normal. In addition, the patient's body needs to recover after the surgery and needs to rest and adjust, which can also lead to a feeling of tiredness for a while. The exact level of tiredness varies from person to person, with some people feeling more tired and others not feeling noticeably tired.
The doctor also clearly told Xiaojuan that she could have children after kidney donation, and kidney donation surgery usually did not affect fertility. However, if the patient has complications after the kidney donation surgery or needs to take immunosuppressive drugs to prevent organ rejection, this may have some impact on pregnancy and childbirth, which is not the case of Xiaojuan.
Regarding Xiaojuan's concern about high blood pressure, the doctor said this: after kidney donation surgery, it may cause a certain degree of physical stress response, resulting in increased blood pressure. In this case, the kidney donation surgery is not the direct cause of high blood pressure, but rather exposes the pre-existing high blood pressure problem. But the doctor also said that kidney donation surgery may cause some complications, such as surgical trauma, infection, bleeding, etc., and these complications may also lead to high blood pressure.
After kidney donation, the remaining kidneys need to assume the functions of the original two kidneys, which may lead to an increase in the burden on the remaining kidneys, which in turn leads to renal insufficiency, which can lead to water and sodium retention in the body, increased blood volume, and thus high blood pressure. Therefore, the idea of Xiaojuan's family is not unreasonable, after donating a kidney, the kidney donor needs to take immunosuppressive drugs to prevent rejection. Certain immunosuppressive medications may cause high blood pressure.
The doctor finally concluded that there is still a certain risk of kidney donation, but the probability of this risk is not as high as Xiaojuan's family said, and it is important to follow the doctor's advice and guidance after kidney donation, take medication on time, have regular reviews and tests, pay attention to mental health, maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, and avoid excessive anxiety and stress.
After listening to the doctor's detailed explanation, Xiaojuan felt much more comfortable, walked out of the hospital gate, Xiaojuan said to me, no matter what, she has to talk to her in-laws and Liangzi, she must let them know the truth of what the doctor said, and can't blindly blame her through speculation and assumptions, as for how to live her life, whether you can live it or not, that's another matter, otherwise, it's too unfair to yourself!
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Xiaojuan also said that she can understand her brother's hardships, and what Dajun said is the truth, she doesn't want to rely on anyone, and when her physical condition improves, she must find a reliable job, no longer complain about anyone, live well, and help Dajun share some of the pressure of taking care of her mother.
Hearing Xiaojuan say this, I was also a little relieved, she can get out of the influence of negative emotions and regain hope in life, which in itself is a very gratifying thing, I hope that Xiaojuan's road in the future will be wider and smoother!